The Episode Of The Office You Never Saw

Middle aged daughter in build-it-yourself furniture aisle: Why don't you get Stanley* to put that together for you?”
Elderly mother: Stanley*? Stanley*? Do you know how long it would take him to put that together? He couldn't even finish painting my cabinet. He'd arrive at 11 and leave at 2. Had to go get his crack. That fool could never build that for me!

–Target, Atlantic Centre, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Tigertail