If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere

Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.

–Battery Park

Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.

–Lindy’s, 7^th Ave

Overheard by: joemikehap

Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!

–F train

Overheard by: Braincurve

Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.

–Grand Central

Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Laura

Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.

–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Clitoris Rex

Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!

–Times Square

Janet Reno Day One-Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don’t like you! Don’t you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176^th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!

–2^nd Ave & 10^th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13^th St

Careful– They Break Their Boy-Toys

20-something male tourist: What’s the crowd like here?
20-something male New Yorker: Random cougars.

–Line at Club, Meatpacking District

Why Not Both?

NYU student: Are they tourists or are they just drunk?

–Bleeker & Thompson

I’m Reluctant to Say More

Dude: Hi, I’m looking for the World Trade Center.
Cop: Uhhh, yeah… You need to go to Manhattan.

–Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Overheard by: Ghost Rock It

He Obviously Doesn’t Believe in Disco

Tourist guy: Why do the buildings in New York have water tanks on the
roofs?
Cop guy: I don’t know…maybe they knock it over if the building
goes up in flames.

–Bowery & Delancey

The City Squeezes Them Out at Every Orifice

Tourist #1: I can’t wait to leave New York.
Tourist #2: It’s not for claustrophobes.

–Times Square

…on This Block?

Female tourist: Oh, look! American Apparel!
Friend: Is that the only one?

–5^th & 19^th

Overheard by: nate

In Little Italy, There’s a Layer of Earwax

Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they’re strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there’s gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.

–42^nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Matt

The Chrysler Just Got That Much More Beautiful

Tourist guy: What’s that building over there?
Tourist chick: That’s the Empire State Building, silly.
Tourist guy: Oh…yeah.

–Empire State Building observation deck

Overheard by: Nicholas West

Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Tourism’ Category