Man, during intermission of Chicago: Did you see the chorus girl with the long auburn hair?
Woman: Yeah?
Man: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her in porn on the internet.
Woman, annoyed: Well, when we get home maybe you can find out for sure.
Man: I’m not saying she can’t sing!
–Ambassador Theatre, W 49th
Overheard by: Big Larry
Lady taking picture of tourists: Do you want the Statue of Liberty in the background?
Hubby: Uh, that’s the Empire State Building.
–Top of the Rock
American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No… that was the English.
–Statue of Liberty crown
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm … The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
–Vesey St
Flustered woman, about her brood: Have we lost anyone yet?
Husband: Ummm… No.
Flustered woman: Well, who are we going to lose first? Because we haven’t lost anyone yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Josh
Headline by: Aeirlys
Runners-Up:
· “Because Abortion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” — Hillary Claire
· “Hobos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” — Krisztina
· “It Looked So Much Easier in Home Alone” — You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Until Fraulein Maria Came Along” — allison
· “Two Roads Diverged in the Woods — I Chose the One My Children Couldn’t Travel” — Drewp
Toothless bag lady: I don’t know what it is with this town anymore. I guess no one likes blowjobs. I give great blowjobs! Maybe I’m charging too much.
Cop: What are you charging?
Toothless bag lady: $100.
Cop: That’s pretty steep…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Spiney
Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.
Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].
–World Trade Center PATH station
Toddler boy: I don’t need to go anymore.
Dad: I just waited in line for ten minutes. You better fart or something.
–Public bathroom, Coney Island
Overheard by: Ronnie Saha
Chick referring to The Producers: Yeah, it made fun of Hitler, but it was in, like, a positive way.
–St. James Theater, 44th & Broadway
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist