Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere

Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.

–Battery Park

Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.

–Lindy’s, 7th Ave

Overheard by: joemikehap

Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!

–F train

Overheard by: Braincurve

Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.

–Grand Central

Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Laura

Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.

–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Clitoris Rex

Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!

–Times Square

God: There’s a good way?

Teen boy #1: Hey mister, does this train go to Manhattan?
Man: I think it’s supposed to, but the N’s messed up right now.
Teen boy #2: Yeah, the N train’s totally gay.
Man: Yeah, and not in the good way.

–Queensboro Plaza station

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Wednesday One-Liners Reach Maximum Occupancy

Professor: All the buildings in Florence are five stories high, because they were built before elevators, and that’s how many stories you can walk up with groceries before you die.

–Fordham University

20-something tourist girl to family, about subway: It’s like an elevator, but opposite.

–N Train

Bimbette: I, like, ran into them in the elevator and they, like, literally gang-banged me.

–Astoria

20-something woman: Do you think he ever found out I didn’t fall down an elevator shaft?

–F Train

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Eugenics

Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.

Headline by: johnny pissoff

Runners-Up:

· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” — Stitches

· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” — one L

· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” — Heidi

· “Besides, i dont speak german…” — senny

· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” — Katie

· “Going Down, But Not Under” — sigh

· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” — mp

· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” — 08kjl


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Hope Her Charger Has a Really Long Cord

Hippy girl: So yeah, we are gonna be living in this yurt for a year without electricity or running water or anything. It’s all about getting back to our roots and stuff.
Guy: No electricity or anything? What if you have to call someone or something?
Hippy girl: I’ll just use my cell phone.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Kelly Ernst

Yeah, I Love Trenton in the Springtime

Chick #1: I can’t wait to hang out next semester!
Chick #2: Oh, I won’t be here.
Chick #1: Where are you going?
Chick #2: Dude, I’ll be in Paris for spring semester.
Chick #1: What? Who from Jersey goes to Paris?
Chick #2: Hello, Liz from Jersey.
Chick #1: Dude, you’re gonna miss Jersey so much!
Chick #2: I know.
Chick #1: Yeah, Paris is so lame. You so shouldn’t go.

–Columbia University