Lady #1: I wonder what that kid over there is reading.
Lady #2: God, if my kid read I’d kill it.
Lady #1: Amy!*
Lady #2: Seriously, I’m never buying my kids books.
–Yankee Stadium
Archive for the ‘Yankee Stadium’ Category
You Read the Post?? Queer!
Guy: No homo, but Derek Jeter has a pretty amazing ass. Probably the best ass in baseball.
Girl in front of him: Oh, it is not at all gay to appreciate Derek Jeter’s ass. The New York Post once said it could stop traffic.
–Yankee Stadium
I Blame New York
Guy #1: And I don’t want to be gay about it, but it was love at first sight.
Guy #2: Dude, that’s pretty gay.
Guy #1: Yeah, it is rather gay.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Heather
Why Thorazine Is Contraindicated for Service Employees
Yankee fan: Yeah, I’ll have a grilled chicken sandwich and a vanilla iced coffee.
Apathetic cashier: Crispy chicken sandwich?
Yankee fan: No, grilled, sorry about that – I thought I said grilled.
Apathetic cashier: And you wanted a Diet Coke?
Yankee fan: No, a vanilla iced coffee.
Cashier: Oh.
–McDonald’s, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Only in the Star Trek Sense
Dude #1, while crossing Yankee stadium: Dude, are we in Staten Island yet?
Dude #2: Are you retarded?
–4 Train
Why Doesn’t Carrying a Heavy Cross Around Make You Thin?
Woman #1, bumping against woman #2 in stairs: Relax!
Woman #2: You relax!
Woman #1: No, you relax!
Woman #2: You relax!
Woman #1: You have a fat ass!
Woman #2: You need to accept Jesus into your heart!
Woman #1: You have a fat ass!
Woman #2: Accept Christ into your life!
–Yankee Stadium
Wednesday One-liners
Russian lady: She loves to travel. Like some people alcoholics? She
loves to travel.
–Funayama, Greenwich Avenue
Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.
–Washington Square Park
Euro chick: No silly, American football is like a girly version of rugby, they have rules and pads.
–66th & Lexington
Man: Look at all these little bananas! I don’t want none a these. These little bananas are for ladies.
–28th & Park fruit stand
Woman: You think that the players look at their butts in the mirror to see what we see?
–Yankee Stadium bleachers
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
“Stop proving it.”
Teen boy: Wow, look, my feet are bigger than yours!
Dad: So what? My dick is bigger than yours!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Sarah
The Yankees Really Need to Hire Some Vicious British Soccer Hooligans
Yankee fan, seeing girl in Red Sox hat: Booo! Boooo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone! She’s hot! Leave her alone!
Yankee fan: Booo! Red Sox suck!
Red Sox girl’s friend: She’s got big boobs, leave her alone!
Yankee fan: I’ve seen boobs before! Booo!
(later)
Yankee fan: Red Sox suck! Booo!
Red Sox girl’s friend: Leave her alone, she’s hot!
Yankee fan: That’s your opinion! Booo!
–Yankee Stadium
According to Nietzsche.
Guy #1, in long line to exit ball park: It smells like fart in here.
Guy #2: Yeah, but when you get this many people in this small a space, you’re gonna smell some farts.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: xplod
