Amazed guy: So, I totally thought I was gay ’til I fucked her!

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Wex

Hot Indian girl with friend: I should host a gay reading hour where I regale the gays with stories of my encounters with B‑list celebrities. They can all sit on a carpet at my feet.

–S’Nice, off 8th Ave

Overheard by: Robert

Suit: I had to move to Westchester — my wife would’ve found out I was gay if we stayed in the city.

–38th & 5th

Biotech: Protesting is gay.

–Manhattan College

Overheard by: Marco M.

Teen hipster, vehemently: I swear, I was talking about this with my mom. I really want to be a gay man!

–Hammerstein Ballroom

Pretty mom on cell, pushing stroller: She’s gay… Well, mostly gay. She’ll fuck a guy in a pinch.

–7th Ave & Union, Park Slope