Bible Thwacker: Have you considered turning back to Jesus?
Woman: Have you considered licking my clitoris?
A psychic was handing out flyers, and was rebuffed by one woman with: Hey, if you were psychic, you’d know I don’t believe in that shit.
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Two strangers, a nerdy out-of-town businessman & a native NYC businesswoman, step onto the 6 train mid-argument. Profanities are flying out of the NYer’s mouth rapidly and with great force. The nerdy out-of-town businessman throws his harshest punch back: Why don’t you go wash your mouth out with soap?!
NYC businesswoman: Oh…why don’t you go fuck yourself?
Overheard by: amy
Man in fur coat and matching hat: Excuse me, where can I find the sanitation napkins?
–Rite Aid, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Katie
Guy: I saw that movie Hide and Seek. It sucked.
Girl: I don’t know that one. Who’s in it?
Guy: Ummm…that guy from Meet the Fockers.
Girl: …Ben Stiller?
Girl: Are you talking about Ben Stiller?
Guy: No, no, the old guy.
Girl: Robert DeNiro?!
Guy: Yeah, him.
Girl: You call Robert DeNiro “that guy from Meet the Fockers“?!
Overheard by: Brian J. Heck
Hoop earrings girl: So I found out yesterday the name of my class is Advanced Calculus. I knew it was advanced but I didn’t know it was calculus. I wish I’d known when I registered. It’s nice and interesting. There are a lot of squiggles that look really nice. But I’m going to transfer to the regular class, because it’s not a requirement for my degree, and why get a C or D, when I can get an A?
Man on cell: I didn’t know it was your baby crying! I thought you were watching some animal show. I wouldn’t have made the comment about the hyena if I knew it was your baby!…Well, yeah, I probably would have…hey, whatever happened to you and ugly-ass Omar?
Overheard by: Krista Gundersen
Bronzing Blonde: So this guy was like “I can’t tan in that bed, I’ll burn,” so I said, “Um, your last name is Garcia, you shouldn’t burn that easily.”
Bronzing Brunette: Seriously? I mean just because your last name is Garcia doesn’t mean it’s okay to be stupid.
–Tanning salon, 7th Avenue between 38th & 39th
Black dude: I ain’t even gonna say it. You know who you look like, right?
White dude: Let me guess: Seinfeld.
Black dude: Oh, shit! Aah! I’sa gonna say Kramer!
–Fort Greene bodega
Girl #1: He was a little too Spock and not enough Kirk.
Girl #2: What?
A son is moving a table into the back of the truck.
Mom: Be careful not to bend the legs when you push it in.
Son: That’s what she said.
–30th and Lex
Overheard by: Tom
Pedestrian #1: I’m fucking handicapped. I can park anywhere I want to.
Pedestrian #2: If you’re handicapped, how come you’re walking?
Pedestrian #1: It ain’t my legs that’s handicapped.
–3rd between A & B
Overheard by: Abby