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Big booty girl #1: Bubble Boy. I love that movie.
Big booty girl #2: Yeah me, too.
Big booty girl #1: No, I really love that movie.
Big booty girl #2: Yeah, it’s funny.
Big booty girl #1: That used to be my ex-boyfriend and me’s movie…but that’s not why I love it.

–Times Square

Girl: Damn, those headphones are fucking ghetto!
Boy: Shut up, they’re not that bad.
Girl: Um, actually they’re beyond ghetto. They’re…backyard.

–Penn Station

Barista: “Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.”
Guy: Excuse me?
Barista: I was reading the tea bag tag.
Guy: You read a lot of tea bags?
Barista: Sometimes they have something important to say.

–51st St. deli

Man #1: …so it was like a gilded lily.
Man #2: Ha ha. What does that mean, exactly?
Man #1: Well, a lily is already beautiful, so it doesn’t have to be, y’know, gilded.
Man #2: Like the gays?
Man #1: Exactly.

–Xing, 9th Ave & 52nd St.

Overheard by: C. Marisol de la Rosa

Man: So these teenagers threatened to kill you?
Woman: Yeah…
Man: Why didn’t you call the police?
Woman: I was on the subway, how am I suppose to call the police?
Man: I can’t believe you told me this. Now what am I suppose to do with this piece of information?

–M72 bus

Non-bitch: There’s a man over there in a green jacket who called me a bitch and threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t give him the time.

–59th & Lexington

Girl #1: Don’t be fuckin’ with him. That nigga got herpes in his mouth. He gave it to my girl Chelisa.
Girl #2: Del is too fine to have herpes in his mouth. You’re hating.

–A train

Overheard by: joey montana

British chick: This hot chocolate is amazing.
New Zealand chick: I love those Swiss Maid things.

–27th Street office

Queer #1: Honey, can you imagine if you had two holes?
Queer #2: Hmm.
Queer #1: Could you fart in stereo? Do you shit out of both holes? If you are going to get fucked and you did a Fleet in one hole, but not the other, do you tell the guy which hole is clean? And suppose you forget which one and he strikes oil?

–The Dish, 8th Ave. & 21st St.

Mom: If you don’t get up off that bench, I’m gonna kick your ass.
Boy: Can’t kick my ass if I’m sitting on it, can ya?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jessica

Guy #1: The next Pope might be black.
Guy #2: That guy’s not black. He’s African.

–Staten Island ferry