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Queer: Thursday nights are the best nights if you like NYU Guys!

–11th St. & 1st Avenue

Overheard by: Rachel W

Girl #1: You should look at profiles with me. It’s like shopping.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s like “Would this one look good on me?”

–Dive 75, UWS

Businessman: …and once word gets out that you like to fuck girls with no legs, everybody thinks you’re a freak!
Crony: Yeah, I bet.
Businessman: I’ll send you the pictures.

–Maiden Lane & Water St.

Overheard by: Dave Kelleher

Woman: Excuse me. I have to put something in my dryer.
Girl folding clothes: Oh, okay.
Woman: Excuse me! I have to put something else in my dryer.
Girl: O-kay…
Woman: Now I have to take something out of my dryer…unbelievable.
Girl: Wow, you’re a case!
Woman: I’m a what?!
Girl: A case. I’ve never seen anybody so worked up over laundry.
Woman: Well, you haven’t lived very long, have you?
Girl: Not as long as you!…Have a nice day!
Woman: Fuck you!

–York Launderette, York Avenue and E. 82nd

Thug #1: I don’t live in the VHS era.
Thug #2: Naw, they got DVD tapes now.

–J train

Overheard by: Anna

Guy on cell: I’m at Avenue of the Americas and…Little Brazil Street.

–W. 46th Street & 6th Avenue

A woman in a stupid fleece hat says to her friends, also in stupid fleece hats: This is my backyard when I’m not at the house!

–Central Park, 5th & 59th

Overheard by: Kat Martinez

Student: It’s not computers that’s fucking you up, it’s General Hospital.

–Pratt dorm, Willoughby Avenue

Overheard by: Eric Wrenn

Girl, 7: Sometimes, I wonder: who really did kill Kenny?

–M79 bus

Guy: I drink so much coffee, that if my girlfriend gives me a blowjob she can’t sleep all night afterwards.

–Wall St. Starbucks

Black chick: It smells like the bottom of a slave ship in here.

–Sapphire Lounge, LES

Hobo: Folks, help me out. I am trying to get my rotor blade fixed on my helicopter!

–W. 10th and 7th Ave

Overheard by: Alex Wipf

Connecticut woman: It was such a joke among my friends; I was always going out with artists or unemployed people…which I guess is the same thing.

–Cuppa Cuppa, East Village

Girl on cell: …and it was right after he said that that I started doing double penetration, and I’ve never looked back.

–C train

Overheard by: Mickey Marx

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the B train. B like, like, like, um, brothel.

–B train

Overheard by: ed