Black boy #1: Yo, how come there’s only white people in these paintings?
Black boy #2: Mmm… Guess they were painted in 1750‐something. They didn’t have no brothers back then.
–The Met
- Posted on May 30, 2023
- Arts & Letters, Black People, History & Geography, The Met
Person #1: Sorry I farted.
Person #2: Oh, I love your farts.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
- Posted on May 30, 2023
- Apologies, Creepsters, Farting & Burping, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness
Black woman, to white kid flanked by two pretty girls: Hey, mista’! Ya got some change?
Same black woman, to the two girls: Don’t go givin’ away pussy fo’ free!
–DeKalb Station
Overheard by: BagelOfTheDamned
- Posted on May 29, 2023
- Advice, Black People, Brooklyn, Hobos
Law student #1: Which one’s professor Donovan*?
Law student #2: You know — she’s teaching that course on litigation and pirates…
Law student #1: Oh, right.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bad Minkey
- Posted on May 29, 2023
- Columbia (& Barnard), Education, Students
Man: Is Tom Hanks married to Rita Wilson?
Two women: Yeah.
Man: Is that why they called the Volleyball “Wilson” in Cast Away?
–97th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski
- Posted on May 28, 2023
- About Celebrities, Friends, Movies, Questions, Upper East Side
Girl #1, nonchalantly: So I was just like, ‘Whatever.‘
Girl #2: Right.
Girl #1, angrily: But then he was just like, ‘Whatever.‘
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1, victoriously: Yeah! So then I was just like, ‘Whatever.‘
Girl #2: He’s such an asshole.
–87th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emily
- Posted on May 28, 2023
- Bimbettes, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words
Dude #1: You know, I kinda like Richie Santorum.
Dude #2: Yeah… he’s a pretty good guitarist. Bon Jovi’s alright.
Dude #1: Yep.
–7 train
- Posted on May 27, 2023
- Guys, Music, On the Subway, Stupidity
20‐something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson’s “Rock with You” plays on the radio: Did you hear he’s sick? Apparently, he’s in the hospital. I know, it’s crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that’ll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what’d he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine‐year‐old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can’t be, they’re white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
- Posted on May 27, 2023
- About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One‐Liners, BJs, Black People, Brothers, Cancer, Chinatown, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Coworkers, Death, Fat People, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Kids, Lower East Side, Men, Music, On Cell, One‐liners, Penis, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Race, Sisters, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One‐Liners, Weirdness, Women
Hospital coffee shop counter guy: Missed you yesterday.
Hospital clerk: Yeah, you didn’t see me yesterday. I was in the emergency room. Patient
swung at me with a cane. So I threw a metal stapler at her. I got stressed when I threw that stapler, yeah. So I went to the emergency room. We need partitions, man.
–City Hospital, Bronx
Hipster guy: Have you ever been arrested?
Hipster girl: Yeah, when I was sixteen my friend and I got arrested for shoplifting. It really wasn’t that bad. The cops were super cool and we were all joking around and shit and our mugshots were actually pretty cute.
–HopScotch Cafe
