Girlfriend: It’s just because she’s so…unconventional.
Boyfriend: By “unconventional”, do you mean “pretty”?
–86th & Park
Overheard by: CStix
- Posted on
- Beauty, Couples, Upper East Side, Words
A Russian lady mutters to herself: I want to be at the front of the line so I can pick my seat, I’m not sitting by some fat, smelly person.
She tries to cut to the front of the line, unsuccessfully.
Russian lady: I was here the whole time! I was standing right next to this lady!
This lady: No, she wasn’t.
Conductor: You better get to the back of the line, ma’am.
Russian lady: But I was here the whole time! Where’s your manager? I want to talk to the manager!
Conductor: Please step to the back of the line, you’ve gotta wait in line like everyone else.
Russian lady: I know what your problem is! I bet you don’t like white people!
Everyone else in line burst out laughing, and she was escorted away by security.
–Port Authority
Woman: Well, at least the Mexicans are friendly and they’re always working. Unlike those goddamn Russians! You know what I mean!
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
Fat guy #1: Yeah, she’s from Italy, she went to Venus to visit her grandmother.
Fat guy #2: Venus? How do you get to Venus?
Fat guy #1: Gondola.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Muffy St. Jacques
- Posted on
- Fat People, Global Geography, Grand Central, Stupidity, Words
Tourist boy: I thought Grand Central station was huge. Like, a whole city underground and stuff.
Tourist girl: Wait.
–6 train, pulling into Grand Central station
Overheard by: Jonathan
Tourist: Where is Saks Fifth Avenue?
New Yorker: On Fifth Avenue, you moron!
–46th & 6th
Guy #1: I think that van has more floor space than our apartment.
Guy #2: My life is going nowhere. Line up, ladies!
–Lexington & 66th
- Posted on
- Dating, Fears, Men, Street, Upper East Side
Guy #1: Did you watch your Pee Wee’s Playhouse last night?
Guy #2: It didn’t come!
–27th Street office
Italian guy: Oh, fuck. My metrocard ran out. Think I can get on anyway?
Black bus driver: Yeah! But I’m sendin’ Tony and Joey to come collect later!
Italian guy: Word, homey.
–M14 bus
- Posted on
- Black People, Italians, On the Bus, Threats
Bi guy #1: So do you have a lot of threesomes?
Bi guy #2: My girlfriend likes to see me take it up the ass. She’s weird like that.
–Chelsea taxicab
Teen girl #1: How do you know it’s uncomfortable?
Teen girl #2: Just put something in your ass and walk around with it.
Teen girl #1: In your ass?
Teen girl #2: Well, on your ass.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sara R.
Drunk suit: Can I have a gin and tonic?
Irish barman: Only if you have an enema with you, ’cause I’m going to shove it up your arse when I’m done.
–Nancy Whiskey Pub, Lispenard Street
Teen guy #1: My dad’s gonna get me fucking Yankees tickets this year!Yankees tickets!
Teen guy #2: You said that last year, and it never happened.
Teen guy #1: Uh, Earth to moron, last year was different. I lied to you last year.
Teen guy #1: You are so fucking Zoolander, man.
–1 train
- Posted on
- Friendship, On the Subway, Teens
Woman: Don’t let your personal freedoms infringe on other people’s rights!
Girl: Who is she talking to?…Holy shit, I love crazy people.
–40th & Broadway
Yuppie chick #1: Pork, it’s the other other white meat.
Yuppie chick #2: No you idiot, that’s baby. Pork is just the other white meat.
–Bryant Park
- Posted on
- Crazies, Food, Union Square and East Village, Yuppies
