Guy: I saw that movie Hide and Seek. It sucked.
Girl: I don’t know that one. Who’s in it?
Guy: Ummm…that guy from Meet the Fockers.
Girl: …Ben Stiller?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Are you talking about Ben Stiller?
Guy: No, no, the old guy.
Girl: Robert DeNiro?!
Guy: Yeah, him.
Girl: You call Robert DeNiro “that guy from Meet the Fockers“?!
–1 train
Overheard by: Brian J. Heck
- Posted on September 20, 2023
- About Celebrities, Friends, Movies, On the Subway, Stupidity
Hoop earrings girl: So I found out yesterday the name of my class is Advanced Calculus. I knew it was advanced but I didn’t know it was calculus. I wish I’d known when I registered. It’s nice and interesting. There are a lot of squiggles that look really nice. But I’m going to transfer to the regular class, because it’s not a requirement for my degree, and why get a C or D, when I can get an A?
–F train
- Posted on September 20, 2023
- Bimbettes, Education, On the Subway
Man on cell: I didn’t know it was your baby crying! I thought you were watching some animal show. I wouldn’t have made the comment about the hyena if I knew it was your baby!…Well, yeah, I probably would have…hey, whatever happened to you and ugly-ass Omar?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krista Gundersen
- Posted on September 19, 2023
- Animals & Nature, Babies, Family Ties, Insults, Men, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, Penn Station, Sex & Relationships
Bronzing Blonde: So this guy was like “I can’t tan in that bed, I’ll burn,” so I said, “Um, your last name is Garcia, you shouldn’t burn that easily.”
Bronzing Brunette: Seriously? I mean just because your last name is Garcia doesn’t mean it’s okay to be stupid.
–Tanning salon, 7th Avenue between 38th & 39th
- Posted on September 19, 2023
- Biotechs, Latinos, Nicknames & name calling, Stupidity
Black dude: I ain’t even gonna say it. You know who you look like, right?
White dude: Let me guess: Seinfeld.
Black dude: Oh, shit! Aah! I’sa gonna say Kramer!
–Fort Greene bodega
- Posted on September 18, 2023
- Black People, Brooklyn, TV, White People
Girl #1: He was a little too Spock and not enough Kirk.
Girl #2: What?
–F train
A son is moving a table into the back of the truck.
Mom: Be careful not to bend the legs when you push it in.
Son: That’s what she said.
Mom: What?
–30th and Lex
Overheard by: Tom
- Posted on September 18, 2023
- Boys, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Sex
Pedestrian #1: I’m fucking handicapped. I can park anywhere I want to.
Pedestrian #2: If you’re handicapped, how come you’re walking?
Pedestrian #1: It ain’t my legs that’s handicapped.
–3rd between A & B
Overheard by: Abby
- Posted on September 17, 2023
- Assholes, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Handicaps, Union Square and East Village
Black kid #1: …you mean the gay nigger?
Black kid #2: No, the black-brown nigger.
–outside Boerum Hill Food Company, Smith Street
- Posted on September 17, 2023
- Black People, Brooklyn, Race, Sexuality
Girl #1: Oh my God, don’t we know him?
Girl #2: Duh, that’s Crotchman.
Girl #1: Riiight. From that party.
Girl #2: Yeah.
–Penn Station
- Posted on September 16, 2023
- Celebrations/Parties, Girls, Penn Station
Queer #1: …so essentially if I didn’t get accepted to NYU for law I would have become a magician.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah. I have the hat and scarves and everything.
–Dojo, Greenwich Village
- Posted on September 16, 2023
- College, Jobs & Careers, NYU, Queer guys, Queers
