The Golden Taste of Pleasure

Woman #1: …and I was crouching down with my 6 or 7 inches of my bare ass showing, it was so embarrassing, and he stayed there!
Woman #2: Maybe he was a pee fetishist!
Woman #1: But he was young!
Woman #2: Maybe you turned him into a pee fetishist!

–Noho office bathroom

Posted on October 4, 2023
Ass, Coworkers, Kink, Office, Pee

Forget “I Heart NY”; We Have a New Slogan

Man: Did you just cut me in line?
Girl: I’m sorry sir, I just–
Man: Oh yes you did. Gosh, I hate New York.

–DB Bistro Moderne, W. 44th St.

Posted on October 3, 2023
Central Park, Gripes, Men

Funny Ha-Ha or Funny Rape?

Woman #1: I told my family that if I get old and can’t take care of myself to hire me a…
Woman #2: A male nurse.
Woman #1: … a young, good-looking boy.
Woman #2: A male nurse.
Woman #1: Specifically for the purpose of giving me a sponge bath.
Woman #2: I have a funny story about that.

–Park Plaza Diner, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: TG

Posted on October 3, 2023
Advice, Age/Aging, Brooklyn, Talking/Convos, Women

Mr. Roeper, If You’re Reading This: We’re Sorry.

Boy: My top scary movie of all time is The Shining.
Girl: Oh my god you guys, the scariest movie I have ever seen is Event Horizon.

–Williamsburg

Posted on October 2, 2023
Friends, Movies, Williamsburg

Alcoholism: Not Just a Goal, But a Duty

Asian kid #1: That was your first shot and you didn’t even drink it.
Asian kid #2: I did drink it. It just took me a long time.
Asian kid #1: It’s your fucking birthday. You’re supposed to be unconscious. You should have done that shit. I bought that shot for you, man. If someone bought me a shot and I had had sixteen drinks, I would drink it anyway, just for the principle.

–9th street PATH Station

Posted on October 2, 2023
Asians, Drinking & Drunk People, Trains Not Subway

She Probably Is Smarter Than Average

Chick: So, I’m smart, right? I mean, I consider myself smarter than the average woman. So I go to this interview, and they give me this test, a long test like the SATs. And I’m drunk. So I get a call later, “Sorry, you didn’t do as well as we’d hoped.”

–F train

Posted on October 1, 2023
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway

How I Spent My Morning Commute, by Michael Malice

Italian sister #1: I was coming here and this man fell down the stairs so I helped him. He kept falling down and falling down.
Italian sister #2: Was he old?
Italian sister #1: No, he was Chinese. Middle aged man.

Italian sister #1: I’ve got that movie at home about the airport.
Italian sister #2: What? Oh, um, Terminal?
Italian brother: What’s that?
Italian sister #1: It’s got Catherine Zeta Jones and, um, what’s his name?
Italian brother: George Clooney?
Italian sister #1: No, he was in Forrest Gump. What’s his name?

Italian sister #1: She’s proposing to her boyfriend. With a watch! And it’s not even a Rolex, it’s a Tag.
Italian brother: She’s proposing to her boyfriend?
Italian sister #1: Yeah. If you’re going to force your boyfriend to marry you, at least get him a Rolex. Plus she’s fat and ugly. If guys don’t propose, girls don’t know what to do. So they go get a Tag watch!

Italian sister #2: Remember yesterday when that Chinese girl’s phone went off and it was a cat? I was like, “Dinner calling!”
Italian brother: That was funny.

–D train