Sheriff: These are kind of like deputy pickles.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/deputized.html

Overheard by: anonymous

Guy: I’ve heard rumors…
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it’s not a rumor — it’s the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?

Millersville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: overheardinmillersville

Engineer #1: What’s the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: charlie

Meathead: That’s the type of woman I want to marry. I’ll bend her over, then we can have hairy Aryan babies and eat hummus together. God, what I wouldn’t do to her!
Pleased girl with him: You know, I’m really glad I decided to invite you instead of Joe!

Cedar Point
Sandusky, Ohio

Overheard by: Ckiska

Girl #1: So, I told my dad to carry my futon up the stairs. There was no way I was going to!
Girl #2: Didn’t he just have major back surgery?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn’t want to strain myself. I’m, like, tiny. Plus, I had to make my room look good.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/oh_well_then_thats_ok.html

Overheard by: I just lost my appetite

Child: Look!
Mom: They’re just flamingos. They don’t do anything.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Suezahn

Teen boy to friends: I tried to drink a whole gallon of milk once, but that didn’t happen and I ended up drinking a half gallon instead. Then I ended up pissing shit, man. It was awful, and it smelled so bad…

Skybridge, Providence Place Mall
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Ang

Dutch employee: Well, I don’t like your American style and I don’t like your American way, and I don’t want to speak English anymore [walks off].
American chick, to colleagues: Keep that bitch away from me or she’s dead.

Major bank
Amsterdam
Netherlands

Girl: You were being cocky!
Upset ex-boyfriend: No, I wasn’t!
Girl: You couldn’t get any cockier if you had dicks coming out of your ears and eyeballs.

Elkhart, Indiana

Overheard by: ashley

Old nag, as train breaks down: Why’d we stop? What’s wrong?
Fellow commuter: We hit a buffalo.
Old nag: Really?!
Fellow commuter: Yes.

Worcester/Framingham Line to Boston, Massachusetts