Boy: My top scary movie of all time is The Shining.
Girl: Oh my god you guys, the scariest movie I have ever seen is Event Horizon.
Asian kid #1: That was your first shot and you didn’t even drink it.
Asian kid #2: I did drink it. It just took me a long time.
Asian kid #1: It’s your fucking birthday. You’re supposed to be unconscious. You should have done that shit. I bought that shot for you, man. If someone bought me a shot and I had had sixteen drinks, I would drink it anyway, just for the principle.
–9th street PATH Station
Chick: So, I’m smart, right? I mean, I consider myself smarter than the average woman. So I go to this interview, and they give me this test, a long test like the SATs. And I’m drunk. So I get a call later, “Sorry, you didn’t do as well as we’d hoped.”
Italian sister #1: I was coming here and this man fell down the stairs so I helped him. He kept falling down and falling down.
Italian sister #2: Was he old?
Italian sister #1: No, he was Chinese. Middle aged man.
Italian sister #1: I’ve got that movie at home about the airport.
Italian sister #2: What? Oh, um, Terminal?
Italian brother: What’s that?
Italian sister #1: It’s got Catherine Zeta Jones and, um, what’s his name?
Italian brother: George Clooney?
Italian sister #1: No, he was in Forrest Gump. What’s his name?
Italian sister #1: She’s proposing to her boyfriend. With a watch! And it’s not even a Rolex, it’s a Tag.
Italian brother: She’s proposing to her boyfriend?
Italian sister #1: Yeah. If you’re going to force your boyfriend to marry you, at least get him a Rolex. Plus she’s fat and ugly. If guys don’t propose, girls don’t know what to do. So they go get a Tag watch!
Italian sister #2: Remember yesterday when that Chinese girl’s phone went off and it was a cat? I was like, “Dinner calling!”
Italian brother: That was funny.
Lady: So now I have to take a pill every day to remind myself I’m not having sex?
–Century 21, Financial District
Overheard by: Mike Barry
HS girl: Now he’s in college, so he has his own friends.
HS guy: He’s at Sarah Lawrence.
HS girl: There are lots of people like him there.
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Queer: Thursday nights are the best nights if you like NYU Guys!
–11th St. & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Rachel W
Girl #1: You should look at profiles with me. It’s like shopping.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s like “Would this one look good on me?”
–Dive 75, UWS
Businessman: …and once word gets out that you like to fuck girls with no legs, everybody thinks you’re a freak!
Crony: Yeah, I bet.
Businessman: I’ll send you the pictures.
–Maiden Lane & Water St.
Overheard by: Dave Kelleher
Woman: Excuse me. I have to put something in my dryer.
Girl folding clothes: Oh, okay.
Woman: Excuse me! I have to put something else in my dryer.
Woman: Now I have to take something out of my dryer…unbelievable.
Girl: Wow, you’re a case!
Woman: I’m a what?!
Girl: A case. I’ve never seen anybody so worked up over laundry.
Woman: Well, you haven’t lived very long, have you?
Girl: Not as long as you!…Have a nice day!
Woman: Fuck you!
–York Launderette, York Avenue and E. 82nd