Girl on cell: …and it was right after he said that that I started doing double penetration, and I’ve never looked back.
–C train
Overheard by: Mickey Marx
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the B train. B like, like, like, um, brothel.
–B train
Overheard by: ed
- Posted on September 25, 2023
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, On the Subway, Prostitution, Public Transportation, Wednesday One-Liners Vary
Girl on cell: I knew it was over when I grabbed his shirt and he told me I was pulling his hair.
–Bleecker & W. 11th
Overheard by: Alaska
Guy: Yeah, but the guy’s the Michael Jackson of dishwashing…
–Houston Street & Avenue B
Overheard by: Andrew Williams
- Posted on September 24, 2023
- About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Breaking Up, Celebrities, Jobs & Careers, Union Square and East Village, West Village
Some kids were making gun noises.
Dad: Nah, the trick is to use a silencer.
–Amity Diner, UES
Overheard by: Anastasia Dyakovskaya
- Posted on September 24, 2023
- Dads, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, Shoot
Chick: So you think that by you comin’ at me all gangsta you gonna get my pussy?
–6 train
Overheard by: brian
- Posted on September 23, 2023
- On the Subway, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Thugs, Topics, Vagina
Suit #1: So what did you think of the title I handed in for [Henderson]’s new job?
Suit #2: I was in Albany when you sent that out. I didn’t get a chance to read it.
Suit #1: I was going to write “potentate” but I wasn’t sure that I could spell it!
Suit #3: Well, most Caesars were murdered…
–Burger Heaven, 49th St.
- Posted on September 23, 2023
- Books & Writing, Business and Commerce, Central Park, Restaurants & Cafes, Suits
Guy: How about The Black Market Babies?
Girl: The Black Market Babies?
Guy: The thing is, there’s already a band called The Backyard Babies. If you know anything about The Backyard Babies, you wouldn’t want to be associated with them.
Girl: Isn’t that who Dana dated?
Guy: No. I got her backstage to meet him. She’s in the dressing room; I used my radio credentials to get her in. He was all ready to make a move and then he started vomiting! That’s when I met Joey Ramone. I was going to complain to Joey but he died shortly after.
–D train
- Posted on September 22, 2023
- Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Dating, Friends, Music, On the Subway
Bible Thwacker: Have you considered turning back to Jesus?
Woman: Have you considered licking my clitoris?
–Times Square
A psychic was handing out flyers, and was rebuffed by one woman with: Hey, if you were psychic, you’d know I don’t believe in that shit.
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
- Posted on September 22, 2023
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Comebacks, Eating Out, Jesus, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary
Two strangers, a nerdy out-of-town businessman & a native NYC businesswoman, step onto the 6 train mid-argument. Profanities are flying out of the NYer’s mouth rapidly and with great force. The nerdy out-of-town businessman throws his harshest punch back: Why don’t you go wash your mouth out with soap?!
NYC businesswoman: Oh…why don’t you go fuck yourself?
–6 train
Overheard by: amy
- Posted on September 21, 2023
- Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Etiquette, On the Subway, Only in New York, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Tourists
Man in fur coat and matching hat: Excuse me, where can I find the sanitation napkins?
–Rite Aid, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Katie
- Posted on September 21, 2023
- Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Men
Guy: I saw that movie Hide and Seek. It sucked.
Girl: I don’t know that one. Who’s in it?
Guy: Ummm…that guy from Meet the Fockers.
Girl: …Ben Stiller?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Are you talking about Ben Stiller?
Guy: No, no, the old guy.
Girl: Robert DeNiro?!
Guy: Yeah, him.
Girl: You call Robert DeNiro “that guy from Meet the Fockers“?!
–1 train
Overheard by: Brian J. Heck
- Posted on September 20, 2023
- About Celebrities, Friends, Movies, On the Subway, Stupidity
