Woman: Are these shirts still buy one, get one free?
Cashier lady: Um, I have no idea. Let me check.
She goes check signs and asks managers.
Cashier lady: No, they’re not. I’m not sure they ever were buy one, get one free.
Woman: Oh, I was just kidding. I wanted to see what you would say. I figured it was worth a shot.
Cashier lady: Oh, well thanks for making me walk all over the store for no reason.
Woman: That’s how you get success, honey.
–The Gap, 18th & 5th
- Posted on
- Assholes, Cashiers, Clothing, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Retail Therapy
Chick #1: I mean, you are like totally naked on a table from the waist down.
Chick #2: Were you totally embarrassed?
Chick #1: Well, it hurts so fucking much that you are like in pain shock, and you can’t even think about whether you are embarrassed or not.
Chick #2: Do you, like, talk to the woman?
Chick #1: What the fuck are you supposed to say? “How do you like my vagina?” And after she rips, she quickly presses down on my vag with her hand, as if that dulls the pain.
Chick #2: Oh, god.
Chick #1: Then she rubs you down in calamine lotion.
–Burrito Box, 9th Avenue
- Posted on
- Girls, Health and Hygiene, Lower Manhattan, Restaurants & Cafes, Vagina, Waxing
A woman at the next table is eating kielbasa with cole slaw.
Queer: Ew, that is so gross!
Woman: Do you want to know what’s gross? Sucking on someone’s cock that has just been in your ass.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
- Posted on
- Ass, Backdoor, BJs, Gays and Lesbians, Penis, Queer guys, Restaurants & Cafes
Guy #1: I found my old Nintendo yesterday
Guy #2: Yo, remember Game Genie and shit?
Hobo: I had a genie once.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Creighton
Guy #1: That guy from the Red Sox is over there.
Girl: Which one?
Guy #1: The one who just quit.
Girl: No way! Let’s fuck with him.
Guy #2: Watch out, he’s from Boston and he looks pissed.
Guy #1: No, we should piss on his shoes!
–Times Square
Overheard by: coma toast
Little girl: Mommy, I feel very shaky.
Mommy: Well, I don’t think you had enough protein today. That’s why I tried to get you to eat the eggs instead of just the bacon.
Little girl: But I’m thirsty.
–1 train
- Posted on
- Kids, Moms, On the Subway
Teen girl #1: You ever watched My Super Sweet 16?
Teen girl #2: Yeah. Don’t you just hate those snobby rude girls?
Teen girl #1: No, it’s kinda cool how they can be rude to their parents and get away with it.
–Bx12 bus
- Posted on
- Biotechs, On the Bus, Teens, TV
Guy #1: You look really familiar to me; what do you do?
Guy #2: I’m an actor, poet, musician…
Guy #1: No…Did you ever work at Bloomingdale’s?
Guy #2: …Yes.
–Astoria
- Posted on
- Actors, Artists, Arts & Letters, Astoria, Guys, Jobs & Careers
Dude: So are you going to sing karaoke?
Girl: No, I don’t think so. Are you?
Dude: Nah.
Girl: Why not? Can you sing?
Dude: Oh yeah, I can sing. I just don’t read.
–Nevada Smith’s, 3rd Avenue
- Posted on
- Bars & Clubs, Manhattan, Music, Union Square and East Village
Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.
–1st Avenue & 6th Street
- Posted on
- Global Geography, Guys, Idiots, Murder, Music, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Words
