Woman on cell: I think they put onions in my sandwich. I’m running home now, let me call you when I get off the toilet.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Anne C.
The Time Traveler is Genuinely Disoriented
Guy: You go ahead, take that seat.
Girl: No, that’s okay, I’m getting off soon.
Guy: So am I! Take it.
Hobo: What’s all this nicey-nice bullshit? Where are we, fucking Michigan? Fucking England?
–1 train
Overheard by: Emily Borgen
Before Putting Him in a Fresh Diaper and Reading Him a Story
Girl #1: I keep getting urinary tract infections.
Girl #2: Well, maybe he has a dirty penis.
Girl #1: No, I wash it for him in the shower.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Susan
Blonde Hair Means It’s a Seller’s Market
A blonde, cherubic-looking little girl of about two, clad in only a diaper, is smearing feces all over her chest. Two young women look on helplessly, clutching napkins.
Young woman: I wish we had a sprinkler.
–Lafayette & Prince
Overheard by: elise n
But No One Will Know It
Student: What’s your name?
Professor: Doesn’t matter. Someday we will all be famous and anonymous.
–NYU
Overheard by: teaching the future of america
It’s Not the Size of His Knife, It’s How He Uses It
Tall girl: Louis XIV? They’re a bunch of rapists.
Short girl: So?
Tall girl: So you shouldn’t listen to the music of rapists!
Short girl: I like rapists! Rapists are the best!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: JB
Staten Island Sex Ed Leaves Something to Be Desired
High school girl: But the river is like, connected to the sea, right?
Black guy: Uh… Yeah.
High school girl to friends: Oh my god, this is like, so awesome! So cool!
–Staten Island Ferry
Beggars Can Be Choosers
Chick: Are you hungry? I have some leftover vietnamese food you can have.
Hobo: Well, what is it? I’m religious. I don’t eat pork.
Chick: There’s no pork. It’s just vegetarian noodles.
Hobo: Noodles? Nah, I’m trying to cut back on carbs.
–Grand Central food court
My Friend’s From Special K‑Town, Sir
Girl on street: Where are we?
Friend: K‑town.
Girl on street: Oh really? Yoboseyo? Saranghaeyo. Kamsahamnida!
Friend: Shhh!
Girl on street: (continues to mumble random Korean words)
Random foreigner: Girl, you in the wrong city.
–K‑Town
Overheard by: EunMi
The Original Iteration of Ratatouille Bombed with Young Audiences
Four-year-old boy, pointing at giant inflatable rat: Look dad, a big rat!
Dad: Yeah, that symbolizes anti-union labor where the union employees aren’t being hired and companies are hiring non-union employees to work with them.
Four-year-old boy: What?
–28th & Broadway
