Accounting lady: What did you do to your hair?
Mailroom guy: It’s called the wet look.
Accounting lady: Oh yeah? What’s that?
Mailroom guy: I sprinkle some water on my head.
–Office, 58th & Broadway
Girl #1: I’m getting my hair cut when I go home next week. I don’t trust New York hairdressers. Last time, they charged me too much and gave me a crappy cut where one side was longer than the other.
Girl #2: It was probably some sort of hipster thing, that’s why it cost so much.
Girl #1: What, like I’m paying a licensing fee to rebroadcast her creativity on my head?…I guess so.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
- Posted on
- Columbia (& Barnard), Coworkers, Girls, Hair
Thug guy #1: Take a look at this shit [on my digital camera].
Thug guy #2: Look at that joint; it looks straight up like a Toys “R” Us commercial.
Thug guy #1: So we was on the safari, and you know how you’re not supposed to have the windows down on those joints? Then that girl up there rolled the window down and the giraffe stuck its head in like, “Yo, what up?” and I was like, “Bitch, roll the window up!” and it came back out. I was scared, yo. I thought that thing was gonna bite me or something.
Thug guy #3: Giraffes don’t eat meat.
Thug guy #1: I don’t care! That thing could have bit me or spit on me or licked me!
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: T. DeVon Robinson
- Posted on
- Animals & Nature, Thugs, Trains Not Subway
Girl #1: So did you guys fuck all night?
Girl #2: Yeah, till I had to stop to smoke a cigarette because I needed to throw up…I felt so fat just laying there while he rabbit-humped me.
–The Met
Overheard by: Aubrey DiScalo
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, Diet/Weight, Sex, Smoking, The Met
Crazy lady: You some kinda rabbi or something? What are you?
Uncrazy chick: What?
Crazy lady: What ethnicity are you?
Uncrazy chick: Uh, Mormon.
Crazy lady: Woman?
–98th & West End
Overheard by: Rose Fox
- Posted on
- Crazies, Questions, Race, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center
Construction guy #1: Yo, when I got home last night, I had a 3 hour nap.
Construction guy #2: Oh yeah? Did you spoon with your boyfriend?
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: bernadette
Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.
–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street
- Posted on
- Bars & Clubs, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Music, Questions, Stupidity, Talking/Convos
Girl: Ew, look at that bug by the curb. That’s no regular roach.
Guy: Yeah, that’s not a New York roach, it’s like a Middle Earth roach.
–28th & 7th
Overheard by: Randolph Hernandez
- Posted on
- Books & Writing, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Insects
Hobo: Hi, My name is Sonny Page, I’m homeless and I’m hungry. If you don’t have it I understand ’cause I don’t have it. But if you could spare some money, food, a sandwich, I would really appreciate it.
Guy: Aw. Fuck, didn’t I give you change this morning? You’re still hungry?
–F train
- Posted on
- Assholes, Hobos, On the Subway, Panhandling
Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers.
–Bodega, 12th & B
- Posted on
- Bodegas, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Health and Hygiene
Man: Can I buy a $2 subway card?
Booth lady: You have to use the machine.
Man: Can’t you help me? I only have one arm.
–1st Avenue station
Overheard by: Jorge Montano
