LSAT guy: Okay, Kelly doesn’t know the answer to this one, so I’m going to call on her.
Kelly: Shit.
LSAT guy: You have no idea how much satisfaction that gives me, getting that response. I’m a total masochist in the classroom…and in the bedroom.
–Crowne Plaza Hotel, East 42nd Street
- Posted on
- Creepsters, Education, Hotels, S&M, Students, Teachers/Professors
Girl #1: Ooh, if he was black he would have kicked your ass…
Girl #2: Yeah, if he was a nigga you’d be bleeding all over me.
–1 train
Overheard by: Dustin Ragland
Queer #1: Oh, no, no, I don’t like that one, find a Puerto Rican one!
Queer #2: I think this is going to be my wallpaper.
Bartender guy: Are you guys downloading porn?
Queer #2: Oh my god, a new Cuckoo for Cocoa Cocks just came out!
–Red, Fulton Street
- Posted on
- Bartenders, Porn, Queer guys
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar? Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar?
Lady: Here, take $5. Now get off the train. You givin’ us black people a bad name.
–D train
- Posted on
- Black People, Hobos, Money & Class, On the Subway, People, Places
Girl: What happened to the raisinets?
Guy: I turned them into chocolate pudding and sent them to the ocean.
Girl: Ew. I thought you were supposed to be charming.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: brookie
- Posted on
- Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, People, Poop, Relationships
Guy #1: You dated her? Didn’t she used to have herpes?
Guy #2: “Used to”? Herpes is the gift that keeps on giving.
Guy #3: Herpes is the poor man’s AIDS.
–Brother Jimmy’s, 2nd Avenue
- Posted on
- AIDS, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Players, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs
Hobo: You got some nice skin.
Girl: Thanks.
Hobo: So you must masturbate yourself like all the time then, huh?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: still laughing
- Posted on
- Compliments, Hobos, Masturbation, Park Slope
Man: Shouldn’t you kids be in school?
Teen girl: Shouldn’t you be in Japan?
–F train
Overheard by: Cristopher
Woman: Are these shirts still buy one, get one free?
Cashier lady: Um, I have no idea. Let me check.
She goes check signs and asks managers.
Cashier lady: No, they’re not. I’m not sure they ever were buy one, get one free.
Woman: Oh, I was just kidding. I wanted to see what you would say. I figured it was worth a shot.
Cashier lady: Oh, well thanks for making me walk all over the store for no reason.
Woman: That’s how you get success, honey.
–The Gap, 18th & 5th
- Posted on
- Assholes, Cashiers, Clothing, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Retail Therapy
Chick #1: I mean, you are like totally naked on a table from the waist down.
Chick #2: Were you totally embarrassed?
Chick #1: Well, it hurts so fucking much that you are like in pain shock, and you can’t even think about whether you are embarrassed or not.
Chick #2: Do you, like, talk to the woman?
Chick #1: What the fuck are you supposed to say? “How do you like my vagina?” And after she rips, she quickly presses down on my vag with her hand, as if that dulls the pain.
Chick #2: Oh, god.
Chick #1: Then she rubs you down in calamine lotion.
–Burrito Box, 9th Avenue
- Posted on
- Girls, Health and Hygiene, Lower Manhattan, Restaurants & Cafes, Vagina, Waxing
