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Girl: If you were going to die twenty minutes from now, what would
you do?
Guy #1: I’d take you into the back and do you. What about you?
Girl: Yeah, I’d probably have sex with you, too.
Guy #2: I think I’d rape someone.

–Coney Island Boardwalk

Overheard by: Gradie Smith

Guy #1: Polo is like, the hardest sport to play on the planet.
Guy #2: Uh huh.
Girl: Aside from space travel.

–Columbia University

Girlfriend: It’s just that I give you pristine vagina and you give me used books.
Boyfriend: Your gratitude is staggering.

–D train

Guy: Man it would suck to be homeless. I would just kill someone and go to prison where at least you get a nice warm place to sleep and some food and shit.
Girl: Or you could steal some stuff, that way if you don’t get caught it’s awesome and if you do you get to go to a nice warm prison.
Guy: Yeah, prison in the US is pretty sweet, I’d bet–not like in other countries.
Girl: Except there is a lot of talk about ass-raping.

–24th & 9th

Guy: These train drivers have to be suicidal. They spend all day underground in the dark.
Girl: Yeah, or they’re just vampires.

–N Train

Overheard by: Owen J

Girl: So we could hook up, or go to dinner.
Guy: Well, I don’t know. Is the sushi really that good?

–outside Nobu, Hudson Street

Overheard by: Michael

Teen boy #1: Whoa, you know what I just realized? ATM is MTA backwards.
Teen boy #2: What’s MTA?

–Flushing

Girl: Oh hey, that’s my high school mascot!
Guy: What, a black woman?

–8th & Broadway

Conductor: This is a Queens-bound G train.
Girl #1: This train is going to Queens?
Girl #2: But we’re going to Greenpoint!
Woman: This goes to Greenpoint.
Girl #2: Greenpoint is in Queens?
Girl #3: I thought it was in Manhattan.

–G train

Overheard by: p

Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Quarter past seven.
Hobo: Do you think we’ll make it?
Guy: To where?
Hobo: To wherever we’re going.
Guy: Yes.

–D train

Overheard by: Dan Cunningham