Young tourist daughter: Daddy, what’s falafel?
Convinced tourist father: Roast beef.
–Falafel cart, 49th & 6th
Overheard by: New Yorkleans Nick
Why NY is not Minneapolis
Middle-aged man at the Minneapolis airport: “When Minnesota first got the lotto, they had the scratch-off lottery cards. I waited on line in a corner store, and the clerk asked me if I wanted to buy one and I said, ‘No. I do not play the lottery.’ The person behind me, as I was leaving, bought a ticket and won $1,000. The clerk turned to me and said, ‘See, you should have bought a ticket!’ and I said to her, ‘No, I’m glad I didn’t. Because I don’t play the lottery.'”
How Many Women Does It Take to Change Them?
Woman #1: Are his balls brown?
Woman #2: No, they’re light like mine.
–The Village
Overheard by: Amy
One More Reason Girls Go to the Bathroom in Groups
Girl #1: (about friend in restroom) Oh my god! She is being such a bitch!
Girl #2: I know! I can't believe she said we were just as bad!
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, at least we tell people to their faces!
Girl #2: Yeah. Oh, quiet! She's coming back.
–Beans Cafe, 57th St
Overheard by: Kiara
Yeah, See If He'll Sign the Extended-Service Contract
Student #1: Go through a 30-day trial, like on the commercials! Then if you don't like him, then you can return him.
Student #2: Wow, that's a bitchy move. Maybe I could see him on Monday?
–Hunter Collge
Ronald McDonald: I Am the Way and the Truth and the Sauce
Customer: Can I have five barbecue sauces?
Cashier: No. This is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way.
–McDonald's
Overheard by: megan loves ian
Why the Democrats Keep Losing?
Obama volunteer #1: Are you registered to vote? Register to vote, November 2nd!
Obama volunteer #2: November 4th!
–Union Square
Overheard by: RM
Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
Wednesday One-Liners Worry That Trucker Hats May Be Out
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
–E Train
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
–Central Park
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
–Union Hall
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
I Handed Over Numerous Copies of His Picture at Registration
College kid #1: Ben Franklin is here today.
College kid #2: Oh, I know him.
–New York Historical Society
Overheard by: Emily B.