Or If We Were an Alien Race That Mat­ed Through Our Hands

Short, fat, tooth­less-sound­ing woman: What we do is not dis­grace­ful. There’s noth­ing dis­grace­ful about you.
Tall thin man, with boom box in hand: No.
Short, fat, tooth­less-sound­ing woman: There’s noth­ing dis­grace­ful about me.
Tall thin man: No.
Short, fat, tooth­less-sound­ing woman: It’s the sin that’s dis­grace­ful. Us, hold­ing hands, how we show our love, that’s fine. It would be a whole dif­fer­ent sto­ry if I was­n’t mar­ried, but I am.

–Es­sex & De­lancey

Over­heard by: nb

It’s Very Cute

Hip­ster girl: I haven’t seen any of your Face­book pic­tures, and I’ve been your friend for like a year!
Hip­ster boy: Re­al­ly? You should.
Hip­ster girl: I’m check­ing them right now.
Hip­ster boy: Let me warn you, though — there are a lot of pic­tures of my pe­nis on there.
Hip­ster girl: Oh, I’m used to that.

–Ap­ple Store, 5th Ave