Crazy guy: Fresh! I been made for this. Apostrophes don’t count.
–C train
- Posted on
- Crazies, Education, On the Subway
Guy on cell: I don’t want your money, just the rights to your son.
–44th & 5th
Overheard by: Anonymous
Hipster guy: If I take off my pants and there’s blood on my cock, it’ll totally be your fault.
–13th & B
Overheard by: WillieBee
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Health and Hygiene, Penis
Drunk guy: Cleopatra! Let down your hair!
–89th & 2nd
- Posted on
- Drunks, Hair, History & Geography, One-liners, Stupidity, Upper East Side
Punk guy: You know somethin’? I could have been home right now, watching Gremlins.
–2nd Avenue between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Tibbie X
- Posted on
- Movies, One-liners, Punks, Union Square and East Village
Office girl: I’m going to finish the rest of these balls then throw up.
–Office, Madison & 48th
- Posted on
- 9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Food, Girls, Vomit
Girl: So wait, is skullfucking only in the eye?
–13th & 5th
Overheard by: The King Adrock
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Girls, Kink, Questions, Words
Woman on cell: Oh my god. Screw you. I’m going to screw you with a screwdriver.
–Central Park
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Central Park, Manhattan, On Cell
Guy: It was a good night! We saw the parade…we got drunk…I made out with a pregnant nun…
–Ben’s Pizza, Spring Street
Overheard by: A. Yanishevsky
Drunk girl: Hey, Red #2, where’s the rest of the pack?
Red crayon guy: Ooh, you’re a regular Dean Martin, aren’t you?
–Puck Fair, Lafayette Street
Guy on cell: Trick or treat, fucking witch!
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Pedro Lebron
Guy #1: I know it’s Halloween and this is the West Village, but do you faggots have to block the entire sidewalk?
Guy #2: Oh go sit on a cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’d like that.
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Chick on cell: Wait, wait, he put what where?…Uh huh…Well it was
Halloween last night…And then he did what? He ate it? That must have tasted like shit, literally!
–F train
Hipster girl: You know that guy Adam? That I….screwed? Well, he got arrested on Halloween for having a gun that looked like a gun.
–Mercer & Waverly
Governor Pataki: Go out and study hard so you don’t get a bad exam on your grades.
–Cantor Film Center, East 8th Street
Overheard by: StyX
Man #1: The Tet Offensive was just confusing.
Man #2: Not really. I understood it completely.
Man #1: Well, let me use an analogy: it would be like if tomorrow, we went into Baghdad and removed all the troops. Is that how it was?
Man #2: Maybe; I don’t know what analogy means.
–Washington Place & 6th
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
