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Woman: Here’s something really funny. I was getting on the train, the 6, and the 2 friends I was supposed to meet were sitting there! Out of all the cars in the train. That was weird.
Man: I don’t believe in that, in coincidences.
Woman: You don’t?
Man: No, I believe that what happens is what was meant to happen.
Woman: Well, I hope “what is meant to happen” isn’t wasting its time
with me getting on the train.

–N train

Queer: who would you rather go out with: Jesus or me?
Girl: Jesus. He can give me eternal life.

–F train

Girl #1: She’s, like, a total socialist. She’s all like, “Capitalism is bad. America is bad.” And she’s always plotting about how we can get their money. You can’t take other people’s money. What’s wrong with you?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: But as extremists go, she’s pretty cool.
Girl #2: Totally.

–L train

Overheard by: Samuel Bennett

Chick: I think the difference between a blog and a website is that a blog is something you can set up without doing any of that website shit.

Black Table party, Slainte, The Bowery

Baby stroller #1: So I decided, what the hell, I’m just going to get a dildo.
Baby stroller #2: A what?
Baby stroller #1: A dildo.
Baby stroller #2: Oh. Yeah, totally.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Chris Genoa

White woman: You see why I don’t live in Manhattan, especially on the Upper East Side.
White man: Why is that?
White woman: Too many freaking dogs. Everybody and their mother have a goddamn dog. The Upper East Side smells like dog shit and these people will not clean up after their dogs.
White man: I know what you mean. Too many dogs.
White woman: These people should be shot for not cleaning up after their dogs. They should not be allowed to own an animal if they can’t clean up after it. What, rich and snobbish people aren’t allowed to pick up dog crap, is that it?
White man: Well, at least the West Side is not so bad.
White woman: I’m not sure it is any better.

–80th & 3rd

Doctor lady: OK, so what happened to you?
Bloody guy: I fell down some stairs, bitch.

–Bellevue Hospital, 1st Avenue

Overheard by: feitclub

Fat lady #1: Excuse me, could you move over?
Thin woman: Well, I can’t move over anymore.
Fat lady #1: Excuse me, could you move over?
Fat lady #2: There is no way you’re going to fit in that space.
Fat lady #1: If you moved over I could. I’m not fat like you.
Fat lady #2: Not only are you fat, but you’re crazy. You think I’m fat? Get away before I eat you.

–E train

Tourist guy: So what’s the difference between Korean and Chinese?
New York guy: You mean the food, or the people?
Tourist guy: Either one. But I only care about the food.

–Bayard & Mulberry

Overheard by: iiams

Guy #1: Why did the cops just pull that biker over?
Guy #2: I dunno, it’s what, 4AM? Maybe he got on his bike drunk or something…
Guy #1: He’s wearing his helmet and everything though.
Guy #2: Yeah, but that motorcycle is pretty fucking ugly. That orange shit on the fenders is a crime.

–Delancey & Ludlow

Overheard by: a jay