Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Guy on cell: When you get here I will make you breakfast sausage. And I am not talking euphemistically.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Alison Foster
- Posted on
- Food, Friends, Sex, Times Square
Guy: …And then I nutted all over her face, but like, not in a demeaning way.
–Weinstein Hall, University Place
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Cum, Guys, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Stupidity
Old lady: Lots of people take pills and don’t get addicted. It’s a personality issue. When I had my shoulder done, I had no pain. But I woke up and the nurse said, “Do you want a morphine shot?” And I said, “Sure, I’ll try it! Why the hell not?”
–Broadway & 69th
Girl: Well, tell Joe my fist has a suggestion for his face.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
- Posted on
- All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Punch, Students, The Bronx, Violence
Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.
–Spring & West Broadway
- Posted on
- Balls, Dating, One-liners, Relationships, Soho
Two people are making out.
Guy #2: That’s just wrong.
Girl #2: You just don’t understand, it’s love.
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s been love since Friday night at the bar.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy #1: Well the Yanks definitely blew this one.
Guy #2: Yeah, no Super Bowl for them this year.
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: George Geotes
Guy #1: It’s a morning-after pill.
Guy #2: For him or her?
–6th Street & 2nd Avenue
- Posted on
- Idiots, Questions, Union Square and East Village
Girl: Look, Rocafella Plaza is right there!
Guy: Where? I don’t see shit.
Girl: I hope you can see if you step in it
Guy: Actually I smell shit right now, do you smell that shit?
Girl: Yeah I do, but I bet you can’t see it.
–49th & 5th
Overheard by: Christine Rinaldi
