Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers.
–Bodega, 12th & B
- Posted on
- Bodegas, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Health and Hygiene
Man: Can I buy a $2 subway card?
Booth lady: You have to use the machine.
Man: Can’t you help me? I only have one arm.
–1st Avenue station
Overheard by: Jorge Montano
Man: Can I see the takeout menu, please?
Counter guy: Do you want to stay?
–George’s Lunch, Greenwich Street
Ad guy #1: “Up Your Budget”? I don’t get it.
Ad guy #2: It’s for the rental car company.
Ad guy #1: But it makes you think of Up Your Butt. Is that the point? Budget wants people to think about stuffing things in their ass?
Ad guy #2: I don’t know.
Ad guy #1: “Look at me, I’m stuffing things in my ass!” “We try harder, we’re number two. We’re stuffing things in our ass!”…Hertz!
–Madison & 50th
Overheard by: Kevin
Woman: People pickin’ on you in school? Where are your friends? Who you roll with?
Little boy: I’m in the second grade!
–135th & 5th
Guy #1: Well, to the west is Chelsea, down past 14th Street is the Village, uptown is Harlem, down past Houston is Soho; the Lower East Side is South past the Village.
Guy #2: What’s this area called?
Guy #1: I have no idea…
–15th & 2nd
Overheard by: Bucky Turco
Old tour man: This is Chelsea, where the homosexual male and homosexual female live. To the right you can spot an interesting haircut on that man. That’s called a Tommyhawk haircut.
–Gray Line bus, 14th & 7th
Overheard by: Hank Luxford
- Posted on
- Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hair, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, Only in New York, West Village
Man: I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that I’ve wanted to listen to Morrissey lately.
Woman: We can go back to my place and listen to Morrissey later.
Man: No one has sex to Morrissey.
–The Raven, Avenue A
- Posted on
- Couples, Music, Sex, Union Square and East Village
Security guy: You missed all the action!
Tailor guy: You mean the guy who defecated in the dressing room and then ran around here wearing just his shoes and a sweater? I’m the one who called you about it, young man! I was hiding over by the
stairs. Did you kick him out?
Security guy: No…you see, he’s not “all there” in the head.
Tailor guy: Really? He looked quite sane to me!
–Syms, Trinity Place
Overheard by: Ben Lunsford
- Posted on
- Crazies, Fashion, Poop, Shopping, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport
Guy: You’re how old? 27? Wow, I’m old.
Chick: Why, how old are you?
Guy: 35. If this was 1000 years ago, I’d be dead by now.
–Office, 51st & Park
Overheard by: Shannon
Little girl: You know who has a weird name?
Mom: You mean an unusual name?
Little girl: Yes. The librarian. Her name is Constance.
Mom: Oh, that’s an old name, like yours: Sadie.
Little girl: But they’re bringing it back. I hear a lot of people in the park say, “Come, Sadie!” Especially to golden retrievers. That’s why I’m begging you to get me a dog.
–D train
- Posted on
- Girls, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Moms, Names, On the Subway, Weirdness
