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Comedy Pamphlet man: Do you guys want to get drunk and laugh your asses off?
Guy: Sorry, we’re under 21.
Comedy Pamphlet man: How about some soda and a giggle?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Cody Wymore

Queer #1: We are going to the Kelly Clarkson concert in two weeks, you should come.
Queer #2: I have to go home that weekend. They are having a memorial for my grandpa who died. Maybe I can get out of it.
Queer #1: Seriously. I mean people die all the time, but Kelly Clarkson only comes to New York like twice a year.

–Splash, W. 17th Street

Woman on pay phone: They can’t arrest him because he didn’t even expose himself.

–Worth & Centre

Overheard by: Daniel Krieger

Guy: So I went to the dollar store, looking for some art for my apartment. You wouldn’t believe how bad some of it was.

–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street

Old guy: Yeah, here today, gone tomorrow. I want to come back as a Polynesian prince.

–Astoria

Overheard by: sara

Condutor: If you would like to operate the doors, please take the test to become a conductor. In the meantime, please release the doors, because there are a lot of people on this train who would like to get to work on time.

–A train

Overheard by: Aryn M

AMNew York Guy: Free Spanish newspaper! Assimilation doesn’t mean you have to give up your heritage!

–Park Slope

White girl: That’s terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I’m not is half-black.

–Columbia University

Southern woman: Why George, I’m just so proud of yew; I thought yew’d be grossed out by the Blue Man Group.

–Marriott Marquis, Times Square

Overheard by: Beantown Interloper

Queer #1: I like being a corporate lawyer. Being “The Man” is awesome.
Queer #2: Because you’re not “the man” in the bedroom.

–Therapy, W. 52nd Street