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Guy #1: So I’m trying to set Anthony up with this girl.
Guy #2: Wait a minute, I thought Anthony was gay.
Guy #1: Everybody does, but he’s not. He just has a slight lisp.

–Pazza Note, 56th & 6th

Overheard by: El Cubano

Hobo: Of course Bloomberg is fucking gay. All the gays are Republican.

–3rd Avenue & 11th Street

Overheard by: Jim Ed Tabors

Jessica Cutler: Twelve of my last sixteen boyfriends were Jewish.

–Happy Ending, Broome Street

Girl #1: Whoa, there’s a 7 train?
Girl #2: Yeah!
Girl #2: It’s purple, we have to take it!

–6 train

Overheard by: eliza tulip

Father: It’s a little boy just like you, except you’re a little girl.

–2nd & 2nd

Overheard by: Broc Morten

Chick: Yeah, this book, Lions and Witches and shit; I like to read weird shit and send it to my boyfriend in jail.

–2nd Avenue station

Overheard by: Amanda Morante

Chick: Ugh….Just remind me to never eat Taco Bell on an empty stomach.

–Lorimer Street/Metropolitan Avenue station

Old lady: I’m telling you: she’s allergic to snow!

–28th & Park

Overheard by: Eliot Glazer

Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!

–Park Slope

Hobo: Man invented the condom so that the woman would stop trying to steal his DNA.

–F train

Overheard by: Caroline Duncan

Tween boy: They all kind of look like hipsters.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: ben wg