Hipster on cell: Okay. After my nap. Call me from the park once you are covered in glitter and I will come down.
–14th & B
Hipster chick: I’m totally boycotting the sun this summer.
–L train
Overheard by: Matt Ferrin
Guy on cell: …and I just told him, “I don’t care what you say. As far as I’m concerned, I am the star of a Broadway musical.”
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Bridget Unnel
New Yorker guy: You know that summer camp I went to? My friend is now the head of it and I’m going to help him out next month.
Girl, laughing: Awww, you’re going to teach the kiddies how to canoe and tie slip knots?
New Yorker guy: No, I’m gonna teach them about the Holocaust.
Girl (laughs then pauses): Wow, that is not what we did at Girl Scout camp in Wisconsin.
–6th Ave & 19th St
Young woman to another: It's hard to convince your 52-year old boyfriend to go to your friend's 26th birthday party.
–Central Park
40-something coworker to another, on her birthday: I just said "join the club." I did not say what club.
–Midtown
College girl, freaking out: Does anyone have a cellphone charger!? So I can find out what my friend did to me… On my birthday!
–Ave. A & 6th St
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Well, I'm not the one who wanted to go to Shamu's birthday!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Barry
Tour guide: The school campus has been in many film and television productions, including The Good Shepherd, Law and Order, and most notably the classic Debbie Does Dallas.
Big Midwestern dad: I thought I recognized that library!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrattStudent09
Hipster girl #1: Did I tell you what I’m doing with my MRI prints?
Hipster girl #2: No!
Hipster girl #1: I’m making them into a purse!
–Driggs & N 10th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy #1, listening to music: You can stand under my umbrella… Ella… Ella… A… A…
Guy #2: Hey look, its Chris Brown! (smacks guy #1)
–Chinatown
Girl #1: We're waiting for a friend and then we're going to take the train home.
Guy: Oh, where do you live?
Girl #1: Westchester.
Girl #2: Dammit *Britney*, stop telling people that!
–49th b/w 8th & 9th
Man: You look like the black Sigourney Weaver.
Woman: I’m not black.
Man: Are you Sigourney Weaver?
–Oasis coffee shop, Hunts Point
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Salesman demonstrating massager on self: It’s supposed to be heavy so that the weight of it helps massage your shoulders.
Middle-aged woman, unimpressed: What about that one?
Salesman, picking up new massager: This is a vibrator.
Middle-aged woman: [Stunned silence.]Salesman: Uh, I mean, it operates using vibration — the first one’s called a percussion massager. It’s just a… different type of massager.
–Brookstone, Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: she didn’t buy either one
Skinny girl #1: Do you know bridal salons only carry dresses in small sizes, so bigger girls have to, I don’t know, close their eyes and imagine what the dress would look like if it could zip?
Skinny girl #2: Seriously?
Skinny girl #1: Some day somebody’s going to come out with a design line for fat girls, and they’re going to make a killing.
Skinny girl #2: Bridal Barn.
–Century 21, Financial District