Teenage boy: I really need a girlfriend.
Teenage girl: Why?
Teenage boy: ‘Cause they’re all sweet and soft and crap.
Teenage girl: Go out with Marla. She’s soft.
Teenage boy: No, that’s not soft; that’s obesity.
–N train
- Posted on
- Diet/Weight, On the Subway, Teens
Girl #1: Get me something else at the bar?
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I’ve run out of alcohol to go with my champagne.
–Central Park boathouse
- Posted on
- Central Park, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Offers and requests
Guy in car: Hey, what’s that white stuff in the trees?
Pedestrian: Umm…blossoms?
Guy in car: Yeah, but what are they?
Pedestrian: White blossoms?
–88th & 5th
Overheard by: Siobhan
- Posted on
- Idiots, Stupidity, Upper East Side
Homo thug #1: Why you guys keep saying “cuss”? Isn’t it “swear”?
Homo thug #2: Cuss and swear are the same thing.
Homo thug #1: …nooooooo, really?
–Biscuit, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Mr. Tips
- Posted on
- Queer guys, Thugs, Williamsburg, Words
Girl on cell: I’ll get a celebrity to pay for my trip. Yah, like Oprah. You know, like on TV Oprah? I’m going to stop slavery. There are 7 million slaves in the world and I’m going to stop all of it…If I want to stop slavery, then I will! I can do anything I want to do!
–W train
Overheard by: SS
- Posted on
- About Celebrities, On Cell, On the Subway, Philosophy
Waitress: Hey, would you mind taking that table for me?
Waiter: How come?
Waitress: That guy’s just a little too sassy for me.
–Chat n’ Chew, E. 16th Street
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Guy: Yeah, they had the baby, named her Maybe, and–
Girl: Wait, they named her Maybe? As in M-A-Y-B-E?
Guy: Uh, yeah. Maybe. But I think it might be spelled differently.
Girl: That’s odd, really a weird baby name.
Guy: Yes, yes it is. But it’s sort of like, maybe she’s theirs, maybe she’s not.
–L train
Queer #1: I think after a year torture is really a “lifestyle”.
Queer #2: Yeah, right.
–Houston & Sullivan
Overheard by: Scottie
- Posted on
- Philosophy, Queer guys, The Village, Time
JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Guy: I think Ground Zero is kind of interesting. There’s nothing there, but it’s kind of cool. Also, if you walk along 5th Avenue there’s a lot of cool stores.
–V train
Fat lady: Well, this was worth the cab ride, I guess.
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: Eileen Donnelly
Foreign tourist: Excuse me, where is the World Trade Center?
Woman: Um, they’re gone.
–Church & Warren
Overheard by: Clay Caviness
- Posted on
- Fat People, Foreigners, Ground Zero, Guys, On the Subway
