Like Everybody Who Works for a Living

Guy: You ever try Kopi Luwak?
Girl: No, who is he?
Guy: It’s not a he, it’s the world’s most expensive coffee.
Girl: That’s not the coffee that’s made from cat shit, is it?
Guy: It’s not made from cat shit.
Girl: They pick the beans out of the cat shit.
Guy: Sort of.
Girl: So that posers like you can drink it.
Guy: You don’t understand the concept of gourmet.
Girl: Maybe not, but I understand the concept of eating shit.

–Starbucks, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Wednesday One-liners in the Family Way

Woman: She thinks she’s so special cause she’s pregnant. Try being 35 and not pregnant! That’s harder to do!

–81st & Amsterdam

Very pregnant woman, standing on the subway, stares at a young black guy who took the last seat.

Young black guy: What do you want lady? I didn’t get you that way!

–Union Square station

Why There’s Snow on Top of Disney’s Matterhorn

Suit #1: I was so jet-lagged when I got back from vacation this summer.
Suit #2: Oh, man, I hate when that happens. Where did you go?
Suit #1: We took the kids down to Florida for a few weeks.
Suit #2: Yeah, that’s a long-ass way away. What’s the time zone difference there?
Suit #1: I’m pretty sure it’s, like, seven hours.
Suit #2: That makes sense. It’s like, almost in Mexico, right?
Suit #1: No, idiot. Florida’s the other way!
Suit #2: Really? My bad.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Mike N

That Sounds Like It’s About Wight

Teen guy #1: Well, I’m French.
Teen girl: I’m German.
Teen guy #2: Well, I’m from Spain so I guess we’re all from Europe.
Teen guy #1: Spain isn’t in Europe.
Teen girl: Dude, yes it is. Europe is like its own continent.
Teen guy #1: I was talking about Europe the country, not that little
island with England on it.

–McDonalds, St. Marks & 3rd

Overheard by: Katherine Gnadinger

Remember That Hipster who Referred to MySpace as ‘Friendster but for Artists’?

Hispanic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fucking bitch!
Hispanic teen #2: Pshaa… Nigga please, I got like 300 friends on MySpace and you only got like 100, bitch.
Hispanic teen #1: At least I didn’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
Hispanic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
Hispanic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
Hispanic teen #2: Bitch

–Union Square

Overheard by: Bryan