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Sales guy: I’m been feeling sick all day.
Sales gal: Is it something serious?
Sales guy: Nah, it’s not like I’m bleeding from the ass or anything.

–The Strand

Guy #1: So what happened with you and Liz?
Guy #2: We broke up last week.
Guy #1: For good this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, well, I told her to go get fucked, and apparently that’s just what she did.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ted Stickels

Girl #1: My cat drinks out of my water glass all the time.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: I can’t drink it after that. I mean, she licks her own ass.

–Central Park

Girl #1: So, Anakin is Luke and Leia’s father, right?
Girl #2: Right, so who’s Hayden Christensen? Who’s the sexy guy; not the guy with the beard?
Girl #1: Wait, wasn’t Anakin the kid in that scene with Jabba the Hutt, when he was with that ho?…Did they have hos back then?

–F train

Overheard by: Jess

Rich girl #1: You’ve got it wrong. The Shiites are the majority in Iraq.
Rich girl #2: Oh, well if the Sunni don’t like it, they should just move back to Iran.

–91st & Madison

Overheard by: Sennott

Puerto Rican kid #1: You shut the fuck up, motherfucker!
Puerto Rican kid #2: Come say that to my face! I’ll brush yo’ teeth with my pee pee!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Yamin Reshamwala

Woman: So where should I move to?
Man: Ethiopia.
Woman: Nah. They always have famines there.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Greg

Hipster girl: Is he gay, or just South African?
Hipster boy: Both.

–L train shuttle bus

Overheard by: Justin Sheckler

New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.

–7th & A

Overheard by: saphin

Daughter: What’s on your leg?
Mother: It’s cellulite, all women have it. And if you think the women you see in magazines don’t, they do. They just get it covered up in their pictures by a special pen called an airbrush.
Daughter: Will I get cellulite?
Mother: Yes, soon.

–Century 21, Cortlandt Street