Flyers guy: Here ladies–free comedy show.
Tourist girl: No, thanks.
Flyers guy: Come on. It’s free.
Tourist girl: Yeah, but, we don’t like humor.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ashley Gordon
- Posted on
- Street, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Tourists
Woman: What are you waiting for?
Girl: We’re seeing Saturday Night Live.
Woman: Oh! When does it tape?
Girl: Today. Saturday. Live. Saturday…Night…Live.
Woman: Well, it could be a repeat!
Girl: Do you really think I would come here and sit in a studio for a repeat?
–GE Building lobby, Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Shannon
- Posted on
- Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourist Attractions, TV, Women
Queer #1: I can’t believe he wouldn’t go out with me.
Queer #2: Well, he didn’t think you could play the bongos. And he was right.
Queer #1: I know, but it’s not like I can’t learn.
Queer #2: Oh God, you’re giving me a boner.
–Greenwich & West 12th
- Posted on
- Dating, Erections, Gays and Lesbians, Instruments, Queer guys, West Village
Girl: Oh my god, what is that smell?
Boy: Yeah, what is that?
Hobo fort: It’s my big fat cock!
–57th & 6th
- Posted on
- Hobos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Scents of the City
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
- Posted on
- Ass, Assholes, BJs, Black People, Brooklyn, Diet/Weight, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys, White People
Girl: I hear more Polish than English in my neighborhood.
Guy: You should write about that.
–The Magician, Rivington Street
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
- Posted on
- Books & Writing, Friends, Languages, Parks
Guy #1: Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt but can I ask you for a favor?
guy #2: Uh, sure.
Guy #1: I’m trying to raise $2 to buy a forty, can you help me out?
Guy #2: A forty? Uh, I have an orange if you want.
Guy #1: Nah, I live in front of a fruit stand.
–8th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: E Martinez
- Posted on
- Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Hobos, Street, The Village
Fratboy #1: Dude, if he like, never went out at all and studied all the time, he could get As.
Fratboy #2: Yeah, but what’s the point in that?
Fratboy #1: What does he want to do again?
Fratboy #2: Well, he’ll never be good at business because he can’t hold his liquor.
Fratboy #1: We’ll have to help him out.
–Columbia University
Old lady: Julian! Get in the elevator, we are holding it for you.
Old man: I am in the elevator, it’s just my ass that was dragging behind.
–Apartment building, 66th & West End
Overheard by: Lubes
Old lady: I’m not moving until the light says go.
Old man: Yeah, you don’t want to get that rundown feeling.
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: Jamie Lloyd
Little girl: Mommy, I’m getting wet! I don’t want to get wet!
Mommy: Yeah? Well, I’m getting wet too, Samantha! That’s life!
–116th & Lexington
Overheard by: JMP
- Posted on
- Kids, Moms, Philosophy, Upper East Side
