Teen boy #1: Does your mom know you’re going to the Nine Inch Nails concert?
Teen girl #1: I just turned 15, my mom would shit if she knew I was going to the Nine Inch Nails concert. I told her I was going to miss my PSAT class because you had a surprise for me for my birthday. She thinks you are taking me out for dinner.
Teen girl #2: What will you tell her when you get home after midnight?
Teen girl #1: I don’t know.
Teen boy #2: Tell her that he took you to a Broadway show.
They discuss theater.
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’d love to go to a Broadway show, can you take me sometime?
Teen boy #1: No, that would cost like $500.
Teen girl #2: My parents aren’t even home, they went on a cruise.
Teen girl #1: Can we go on a cruise?
Teen boy #2: A cruise is expensive; it costs like $3,000 a person.
Teen girl #2: It doesn’t cost that much.
Teen boy #2: Well, I don’t know how much it costs, but it fucking costs a lot.
Teen boy #1: Do you have the money for the tickets?
Teen girl #1: No, I only have like $6. I forgot to take my wallet, my lunch and my birth control.
Woman: Let’s raise our kids in the Philippines.
–LIRR
- Posted on
- Friendship, Money & Class, Music, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Teens, Trains Not Subway
Girl: Have some! Please!
Guy: Uh, no. I hate bananas.
Girl: Come on! This shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Guy: B-a-n-a-no.
–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street
- Posted on
- Food, Friends, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Restaurants & Cafes, Words
Two guys are waiting for the train inside the turnstyle when a group behind them start waving their hands and making weird noises.
Guy #1: People are so fucking crazy. I’m always around crazy people.
Guy #2: Uh…they’re deaf. And mute.
–Christopher Street station
- Posted on
- Guys, Handicaps, Retards & Handicaps
Yuppie man #1: Hey, John is going to be in town tomorrow night, we’re all going to go out
Yuppie man #2: Oh shit, I can’t go. I’ve got a date tomorrow night.
Yuppie man #1: What? Are you serious? Fuck the date, man.
Yuppie man #2: No, yeah. I know, that’s exactly what I got to do.
–Riviera Cafe and Sports Bar, W. 4th Street
Drunk girl: I need to put on lipstick.
Sober guy: Why?
Drunk girl: Because I have a guy coming to see me…he has hair and is taller than me.
–56th & 9th
- Posted on
- Dating, Fashion, Friendship, Hair, Height, Offers and requests, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words
Girl #1: …and I went on the American Nazi Party website, and it’s–
Girl #2: I know! It’s hysterical.
–26th & Park
Overheard by: Kevin Stone
- Posted on
- Favorites, Girls, Internet, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nazis, People, Places, Pop Culture
Chick #1: Excuse me, ma’am, but would you mind moving your bag so that my son and I could sit next to each other?
Chick #2: Honestly? I just don’t feel like going through the motions right now.
–6 train
Overheard by: Anne O.
- Posted on
- Biotechs, Etiquette, On the Subway
A white girl on a cell drops a piece of paper. A Hispanic man picks it up.
Hispanic man: Senorita! Senorita!
White girl: What? Oh, sorry.
She returns to her call.
White girl: …No, I just thought I was being harassed.
–14th & University
Girl: I don’t know if he’s straight or gay, I can’t tell.
Guy: You know that saying “innocent until proven guilty”? Well, everyone at Pratt is gay until proven straight.
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Peter F.
- Posted on
- Gays and Lesbians, Men, On the Subway, Women
LSAT guy: Okay, Kelly doesn’t know the answer to this one, so I’m going to call on her.
Kelly: Shit.
LSAT guy: You have no idea how much satisfaction that gives me, getting that response. I’m a total masochist in the classroom…and in the bedroom.
–Crowne Plaza Hotel, East 42nd Street
- Posted on
- Creepsters, Education, Hotels, S&M, Students, Teachers/Professors
Girl #1: Ooh, if he was black he would have kicked your ass…
Girl #2: Yeah, if he was a nigga you’d be bleeding all over me.
–1 train
Overheard by: Dustin Ragland
