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Chick: Okay guys, I’m going to subway surf in heels. I haven’t done it in so long, I hope I don’t fail.
Old man: You will fail.
Chick: Oh…
Old man: 75% of your weight is on your toes, only 25% is on your heel. You will fall. That’s from 25 years of martial arts experience.

–R train

Overheard by: Alyson Leigh

Woman: It’s a pity about that actress who stabbed someone with her knife. What’s her name? …Um…Reese?
Chick: Witherspoon?
Woman: No! With her knife!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Emilia

Suit #1: I know where we are.
Suit #2: Where?
Suit #1: On the corner!

–9th Street & 1st Avenue

Overheard by: Your Mom

Guy: Excuse me, can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …What?
Guy: Can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …No.
Guy: Are you su–
Girl: Didn’t you fucking hear me, you idiot?

She gets up and starts walking away.

Girl: Jesus Christ, these fucking…

–Central Park

Walkie-talkie: Need backup on 49th & Broadway…
Cop #1: 49th & Broadway! Isn’t that us?
Cop #2: No, they’ve already got someone there.
Cop #1: Yeah, us…You’re an idiot.

–D train

Overheard by: Nate Luce

Clerk lady #1: There’s no price on this, no bar code. I can’t sell it.
Clerk lady #2: Hold on, just call accessories.
Clerk lady #1: How do I do that?
Clerk lady #2: Accessories!

–Century 21, Cortlandt Street

Girl on cell: Listen, listen. What I’m saying is, why can’t we just try to find a way to keep all of the Jews and the non-Jews from like, marrying? Or even interacting?

–Washington Square Park

Black guy: Man, nigga, you’re really dirty. I mean, you’re a slob, nigga. You’re…you’re a fucking Mexican.

–Union Square

Tween girl: Are there two Union Squares?

–Union Square West

Overheard by: jessica castro

Guy: So, go out with her! For her it will be a date. For you, it will be a charity event.

–Koi, W. 40th Street

Overheard by: Uptownish

Drunk guy: For the last time, a chick with a dick is a hermaphrodite!

–47th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jerad Lewis

Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.

–1 train