60-ish woman looking in door: I thought you had to have some hooters to be able to work at one.

Burbank, California

Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!

Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don’t have pockets.

San Jose Airport

Overheard by: Keren

Hey, Is That a Gypsy Over There?

Cranky mom: Don’t touch that!
Cranky four-year-old: I don’t like you!
Cranky mom: Good. I don’t like you, either.

Anaheim, California

Overheard by: Sally Ravenswood

Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.

Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California

Girl: Have you read Derrida?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Derrida! If you’re going to go to France and get laid, you’ve got to know who Derrida is.

Berkeley BART

Overheard by: Rhiannon Stone

Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can’t keep them all straight!

301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California

Guy to girlfriend: I wasn’t rooting for you. I was rooting for the hyenas.

Monterey, California

Overheard by: me too

Skinny blonde: So, yeah, my mom is dating this new guy who’s just kind of awkward and nerdy and, well, he’s just really bad at socialism.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Molly and Katy