Girl: Well, tell Joe my fist has a suggestion for his face.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl: Well, tell Joe my fist has a suggestion for his face.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
Girl #1: The next stop is ours.
Girl #2: How are we going to get out? Are we allowed to push people?
–6 train
Hobo #1: Yo, man, yo, come on, I’ma fuck you up.
Hobo #2: Ain’t gon’ be no fightin’ out here, brother. You gon’ be fightin’ all by yo’self.
Hobo #1: Aight, yo, come on then, I’ll fuck me up first, then I’ll fuck you up, too!
–outside the Bowery Mission
Overheard by: Shane
Sun-bathing girl #1: Uh oh, they’re bringing a dog into a No Dogs Allowed park.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I don’t understand that rule. I think it should be no kids or dogs allowed.
Sun-bathing girl #3: Yeah, I hate kids.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I’d kill a baby for a Birkin bag.
–Central Park
Overheard by: JB
Girl #1: …I mean there was blood everywhere in that lobby! It was all over the walls, the lamps, the floors. And I was like, “What the fuck?”.
Girl #2: Well, obviously.
–Bleecker & West 10th
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Teen girl #1: He called me a female dog.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
Teen girl #1: Then I set him on fire, and he was like, “Okay.”
–Forest Hills
Girl: …anyway, he was making money hand over foot–
Guy: Isn’t it “hand over fist”?
Girl: It’ll be “fist up your ass” if you don’t stop interrupting me.
–Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Overheard by: CS
Girl: …I mean, I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t hit her in my house!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Errin D.
Drunk thug: Yo, fuck Lil’ Bow Wow! If I get the chance I’ll cut that nigga…with my MetroCard! And then I’ll swipe him through.
–Last Exit, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mr. Brojangles
Jewess: If Miriam acts that way again to me, I am going to slap her pussy bald.
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Caroline Kelley
Man: Just you watch, she’s gonna cut him!
–3 train
Man: I don’t know, he only dates guys in jail.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: Missy Gartner
Black kid: They’re going to get me for conspiracy! That’s what they did to my brother! He’s spending 8 years in jail for conspiracy…firearms…half an ounce of cocaine…crack cocaine.
–B train
Overheard by: Samantha G
