Teen girl: I wouldn’t call me bi but more curious. Nut when I was fooling around with her I thought to myself, “I’d definitely do this again.”
–1 train
Overheard by: Mike Smith
Teen girl: I wouldn’t call me bi but more curious. Nut when I was fooling around with her I thought to myself, “I’d definitely do this again.”
–1 train
Overheard by: Mike Smith
Old lady: Julian! Get in the elevator, we are holding it for you.
Old man: I am in the elevator, it’s just my ass that was dragging behind.
–Apartment building, 66th & West End
Overheard by: Lubes
Old lady: I’m not moving until the light says go.
Old man: Yeah, you don’t want to get that rundown feeling.
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: Jamie Lloyd
Filthy man: You three ladies know this dude?
Girl #1: Uh, yeah.
Filthy man: Oh. Okay. ‘Cause I was about to pull out my AK47 and shoot him dead.
The elevator stops.
Filthy man: You all have a nice night.
–Hotel Carter, West 43rd Street
Overheard by: onesong
Girl: When we were younger, we totally took for granted the fun in playing Spin the Bottle…I would love to play now but it wouldn’t be the same.
Man: Yeah, playing now would just end with an abortion two months later.
Girl: Ugh.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Jeff Rigby
Ghetto guy: Dat movie was da bomb.
Ghetto hoochie: Yeah guy, 10 thumbs up!
–City Cinemas Village East, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Faceman
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Two people are making out.
Guy #2: That’s just wrong.
Girl #2: You just don’t understand, it’s love.
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s been love since Friday night at the bar.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Lesbian #1: Do you think she’s a trannie?
Lesbian #2: I don’t know. Would you still do her if she was?
Lesbian #1: She’s so hot that it wouldn’t even matter.
Lesbian #2: Then can you let me off the hook for sleeping with that
hermaphrodite?
–Long Island City
