Guy #1: Hey man, how was your weekend?
Guy #2: Awesome! Bumped into an old girlfriend…repeatedly.
–N train
Guy #1: Hey man, how was your weekend?
Guy #2: Awesome! Bumped into an old girlfriend…repeatedly.
–N train
Hipster girl: I want him to think I’m clever, not some desperate a-hole.
Hipster guy: Good luck!
–Central Park
Guy: Is that your boyfriend? I saw you guys making out at the bar.
Drunk girl: He’s just a friend. He’s whatever. I’ll probably be making out with you tomorrow.
Guy: That’s great.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Spooner
Dude #1: …This girl was so fucking hot. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said, “I don’t dance” and I said, “I don’t either.” But she was like, “Sorry, I really don’t dance. I’m not, like, rejecting you or anything.” So I went back towards the stage and kept dancing.
Dude #2: Okay.
Dude #1: Then, after the next song, I went up to her and asked her to dance again and she said no, but she kinda smiled at me like she thought it was cute.
Dude #2: So?
Dude #1: So, after the show, I hung around to try to talk to her.
Dude #2: What happened?
Dude #1: I don’t know. I got too drunk and forgot what she looked like.
Dude #2: You’re a fucking moron.
–6 train
A girl and guy are making out on the street.
Guy: I gotta go.
Girl: Wait, come back.
Guy: I’m busy.
Girl: What’s your name?
Guy: Bill.
Girl: How can I get in touch with you?
Guy: Google it.
–11th Street & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Suit #1: I screwed one of the new piece of ass last night.
Suit #2: You mean the li’l one, the new one?
Suit #1: Yeah, Jen, the new girl on 15.
Suit #2: Dude, I just smashed her the other day at lunch! Are you fucking kidding me?
Suit #1: You’re clean, right?…’cause I’m going back for seconds.
–75th & Lexington
Guy: It was hot, I can’t even tell you.
Girl: So you guys slept together?
Guy: Oh yeah, it was hot.
Girl: ’cause I talked to her this morning and she said you guys just cuddled and stuff.
Guy: Yeah, yeah, that’s what I meant by sleeping with her. Y’know, spooning and shit.
–MetroTech Commons
Guy: I’m doing a house in the Hamptons, but I only know one person, this one girl. So I get an e-mail to meet everyone for drinks on Thursday, and I look at the names and it’s girl girl girl, girl girl, Santos, girl girl girl…and I’m like, “OK, am I the only guy in this house?”. And she said there’s a couple other guys coming out for 1 or 2 weekends. So I’m like, “OK, all girls, that’s cool. Are they cute?” and she says, “Yeah, they’re all cute.” So I said, “Well, I’m not matching the first couple weeks, they’ll think I’m gay!” She said, “Yeah don’t match, they’ll think you’re gay.” So I’m not matching. Plus they’re going to see “Santos” and think I’m freakin’…card-carrying…freakin’…off the boat, just swam the…freakin’ Florida canal…from Cuba or something.
–V train
Overheard by: kt
New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.
–7th & A
Overheard by: saphin
Punk girl: Ella really is kind of a whore for doing that to Brennan. Even if Brennan is a dickhead, she shouldn’t let him think she’s cheating on him. Why make yourself look like a whore if you’re really not?
Stylish girl: Yeah, you’re right. She’s just making herself look like a whore.
Punk girl: I wonder if Brennan is single. I’d like to hook up with him.
–5th Ave. between 54th and 55th
Overheard by: the rat
Dancer: …and she’s like, 25, and has never been on a date! Ever!
Ballerino: No fucking way. Is she retarded?
Dancer: I don’t think so. I think she’s just obsessed with ballet.
Ballerino: Go figure.
–Juilliard cafeteria
Queer: Thursday nights are the best nights if you like NYU Guys!
–11th St. & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Rachel W
