Teen boy: Tweety Bird is a boy or girl?
Teen girl: It’s a boy. They got a blue Tweety too, I seen it.
Teen boy: Yeah yeah, they got a black Tweety Bird, too. I seen it before.
Teen girl: Where did you see a black Tweety? There ain’t no black Tweety, stupid.
–D train
Overheard by: christian koch
Hippie guy: Hey. How’s it going?
Dwarf guy: Hey.
Hippie guy: Remember me? We were at band camp together.
–F train
Overheard by: Gretchen S
Girl #1: Do you have a cold or something?
Girl #2: No…It’s my allergies. It’s not like this where I’m from.
Girl #1: Where are you from again?
Girl #2: Arizona.
Girl #1: Oh, pollen and stuff?
Girl #2: No, all these crowds and their germs. It’s not like that out West.
–C train
Overheard by: BBW
Girl: Shoot! I’m sorry.
Guy: So where are you from? Because I know it’s not New York if you say “shoot!”.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard
Guy on cell: Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty cool out here I guess…you should totally come visit…It’s just…sometimes I feel like New York is just one big Ann Arbor.
–Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: jesse
Man: We’re not from here. We’re from Pennsylvania, where they’re normal.
–B63 bus
Waiter: How was everything tonight?
Woman: Absolutely wonderful! This was some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had! And you can take my word for it. I’m from Colorado. We know Mexican food.
–Mexico Lindo, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Carol
Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Queer #1: He told me he had an 8 inch penis.
Queer #2: Oh really?
Queer #1: It was only 8 inches if he put it in twice.
–L train
Overheard by: Marcus and Nate
Sober girl: Did you know your mother has a penis?
Drunk girl: My mom’s wild!
Sober girl: So did you know?
Drunk girl: It’s great, man, it’s great.
–1 train
Skinny guy: You get unemployment benefits?
Fat guy: It’s great. You just file and you’re done.
Skinny guy: What does that mean?
Fat guy: They give you free dough.
Skinny guy: It’d be great if sex were like that, unemployment. You could be like, “Hey, I haven’t gotten any in 6 months and I want some so I’m filing for sex, please.” And they’d be like, “Oh man, this dude hasn’t gotten it in months; send him a hooker!” And it’d be two stoned guys, fat white guys in a donut-filled government office with escort’s numbers all over the walls.
–4 train
Overheard by: Andrew Gamache
Fratboy #1: How are the pledges this year?
Fratboy #2: Oh man, we got two gay pledges, and they are so in love with each other.
–7 train
Overheard by: Brian
Girl #1: You know when I goes out with a boy, I like to make sure that I am all clean and shit.
Girl #2: I know, me too.
Girl #1: Come to think of it, I like to be clean when I go out with the girls, too…Ya know, one of them always ends up touching ya.
Girl #2: I hears ya.
–2 train
Overheard by: jonathan
Condutor: If you would like to operate the doors, please take the test to become a conductor. In the meantime, please release the doors, because there are a lot of people on this train who would like to get to work on time.
–A train
Overheard by: Aryn M
