Girlfriend: It’s just that I give you pristine vagina and you give me used books.
Boyfriend: Your gratitude is staggering.
–D train
Girlfriend: It’s just that I give you pristine vagina and you give me used books.
Boyfriend: Your gratitude is staggering.
–D train
Guy: These train drivers have to be suicidal. They spend all day underground in the dark.
Girl: Yeah, or they’re just vampires.
–N Train
Overheard by: Owen J
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound G train.
Girl #1: This train is going to Queens?
Girl #2: But we’re going to Greenpoint!
Woman: This goes to Greenpoint.
Girl #2: Greenpoint is in Queens?
Girl #3: I thought it was in Manhattan.
–G train
Overheard by: p
Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Quarter past seven.
Hobo: Do you think we’ll make it?
Guy: To where?
Hobo: To wherever we’re going.
Guy: Yes.
–D train
Overheard by: Dan Cunningham
Guy #1: Man, it’s cold in here.
Guy #2: That’s cause your momma’s pussy is so loose.
–A train
Overheard by: Chris Harris
Chick: Okay guys, I’m going to subway surf in heels. I haven’t done it in so long, I hope I don’t fail.
Old man: You will fail.
Chick: Oh…
Old man: 75% of your weight is on your toes, only 25% is on your heel. You will fall. That’s from 25 years of martial arts experience.
–R train
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Walkie-talkie: Need backup on 49th & Broadway…
Cop #1: 49th & Broadway! Isn’t that us?
Cop #2: No, they’ve already got someone there.
Cop #1: Yeah, us…You’re an idiot.
–D train
Overheard by: Nate Luce
Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.
–1 train
Guy: I think we should get Indian food for dinner.
Girl: Indian food? What do they sell? Buffalo and maize?
–W train
Overheard by: Brent Jordan
Girl: I heard that it costs more to execute someone than to keep them in jail for 40 years.
Guy: Yeah, I heard that too. You know, because of the electricity.
–F train
Overheard by: Amber
