A white girl on a cell drops a piece of paper. A Hispanic man picks it up.
Hispanic man: Senorita! Senorita!
White girl: What? Oh, sorry.
She returns to her call.
White girl: …No, I just thought I was being harassed.
–14th & University
A white girl on a cell drops a piece of paper. A Hispanic man picks it up.
Hispanic man: Senorita! Senorita!
White girl: What? Oh, sorry.
She returns to her call.
White girl: …No, I just thought I was being harassed.
–14th & University
Guy: Chicago is obviously a better city than New York. New York is Tourist Central.
Girl: That’s not true, there are still parts of the city that are untainted.
Guy: Yeah, like where?
Girl: I dunno, like, some places I still see a lot of graffiti and black people.
–56th & Lexington
Overheard by: Becca
Sober black guy: Oh no, call the ambulance, white man down!
Drunk white guy: I know, I’m such a cracker!
–Lexington & 22nd
Overheard by: Zane Gould
Black chick: …I will never work with her again. She told me, “you people” mess everything up.
She leaves.
White chick #1: Yeah, did she tell you about the designer that was racist to her?
White chick #2: No! That’s so rude.
White chick #1: Yeah, I know. Even though she makes it kind of easy to be racist, that is so fucked up!
–Office ladies’ room, 39th & 7th
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m the embodiment of crack right now. I’m still drunk from last night. And wow, I just got a bad look from two Mexicans and we know that never happens. Oh my god, another bad Mexican look. What the fuck is happening? Oh my god, a cat…Shut up, oh my god, the world is conspiring against me. As soon as I said “cat” a kid came around the corner. What’s next, a demon? Cats, kids, demons.
–12th & A
White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.
–Office, Park Avenue
Overheard by: Peasant
Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!
–18th & 7th
Overheard by: A & J
Black cyclist guy: Where’s all the black people around here? Did y’all eat all the black people?
White girl: They taste yummy!
–Houston & West Broadway
Overheard by: alyssa
White guy: God! This is taking forever!
Black guy: Hey man, you don’t like it then go back to Omaha or Ohio or whatever square state you’re from.
White guy: But I’m from Brooklyn.
Black guy: Then act like it!
–Whitehall SI Ferry terminal
White guy #1: Dude, so I was like, moving in on this girl, and she was pruding. So she was saying, “I’m not that kind of girl, find someone else to hook up with.”
White guy #2: But you weren’t gonna let her off that easy.
White guy #1: Course not. So I’m like, “But I wanna hook up with you.” So then I’m like, “Wanna dance?” And she’s like, “Okay.” And then when we get on the dance floor, this girl who was like a total prude the entire time becomes a freak. She was just like rubbin’ up on my pee-pee and everything.
White guy #3: So you think you’re gonna hook up with her tonight?
White guy #1: Nah nah, the odds of her touching my pee-pee tonight are slim.
–Palladium, 14th Street
Overheard by: The Smut Gremlin
