Black New Yorker guy and two white tourist ladies have a lengthy conversation about different places to visit in NYC.
Black guy: Okay, ladies, this is my stop. Bye!
White tourist lady #1: Bye! Have a great day! [To friend, as man departs at Astor Place] I didn’t feel threatened by him at all. He was actually a very nice man.
–6 train
Black girl: I’m just going to remain celibate until I meet a nice‐looking white man.
Friend: Look how fast he’s walking away!
–Garfield & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mark S
Black dude #1: Hey, snowflakes!
Black dude #2: Wanna drink some nigga juice tonight?
White chick #1 to friend: Are you sure you feel safe walking back by yourself?
White chick #2: Yeah, I usually don’t get harassed this much. I think it’s just because there are two of us.
White chick #1: So it’s exponential?
White chick #2: Exactly. Right now, we’re whiteness, squared.
–116th & Lex
Overheard by: blinded by the light
Guy to male friend: We believe that the better you look, the more spiritual you are.
–1st St & 5th Ave., Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Man collecting money for the homeless: Come on guys, I’m way too pretty to be homeless.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Dara
Middle‐aged African American male, with a blue NY Giants baseball cap on, and a fur coat: I’m pretty… I’m pretty… I’m pretty
–59th St Subway Station
Overheard by: nickporjr
Bum: Hey pretty! Hey pretty!
[Pretty girl coughs violently and sneezes at the same time.]Bum: Feel better, pretty.
–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Middle‐aged, Chelsea‐fit white guy on iPhone: Well, neither you nor any of your sisters were the beauty that I was…
–21st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sean
Middle‐aged man: You know who was good‐looking? Stalin, when he was younger. He was so dashing!
–104th & West End
Overheard by: communist!
Dude #1: Dude, you see how hot Sara looked last night?
Dude #2: Dude, I would fucking lick her ass.
Dude #3: Dude, there’s kids around.
Dude #2: What, what did I say?
Dude #3: That you’d fuckin’ lick Sara’s ass!
40‐something mom of three: Why don’t you know your fuckin’ surroundings, fuckface? There’s kids around.
Dude #2: Harsh, man.
–Park Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Gary
White teen, grabbing heavy‐looking computer monitor from black teen: Fuck, just give it to me, you whiner. You’re going to drop it and we’ll be screwed, you fucking baby.
Black teen: Bitch, chill, what has been with you lately? Lately you’ve been acting like you got your white boy period.
White teen: Really. Really. Look at me, look at what I’m carrying. Don’t fucking talk to me right now.
Black teen: Definitely, white boy period.
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Creepster to woman with child entering train: You can sit here. There’s no reason to be standing when you have a child with you. (woman sits) Not to sound creepy, but the view was much better when you were standing.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Creeped out.
Black hobo to young white girl: If you and I got together, we could make the next Obama.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Katie
Greasy white suit to hot black chick: My name is Mark, but you can call me “The Vagina Whisperer.”
–Moe’s Bar. Brooklyn
Guy hitting on four younger girls: I’ll take you home and we can do something weird… I’ll pour honey all over you. Then I’ll put you in the closet and let loose 200 bees in there with you! Or, we could do sexy‐weird! I’ll pour butter all over you, and I’ll make toast, and I’ll wipe the butter off your back with it!
–1 Train
Older fat man yelling at attractive young woman: Hey bay! You’re beautiful! Look at me! You don’t want to say hi? (spreads his arms) Hey, come on, look at me. I’m Tony Baloney.
–Broadway & Hewes, Brooklyn
Older black man: How’s you mother?
20‐something white man: She died in January.
Older black man: I’m very sorry to hear that.
20‐something white man: Thanks. She left me her rent‐controlled apartment!
–Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights
Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
–One Penn Plaza
Girl #1: So I don’t wanna be all like, “whatever,” because he, like, totally likes me.
Girl #2: He told me he thinks you’re smart.
–R train
Overheard by: Jorge De La Garza
