And/or Your Hand in Marriage?

Cute 20‐something Asian girl: I have a butt plug in right now.
Slightly older male college student: Can I have your number?

–34^th & Broadway

Posted on March 27, 2023
Asians, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, Offers and requests, Students, Weirdness

The Biggest Wednesday One‐Liner

Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid?

–Bedford Ave & 8^th

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn’t curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something.

–Pizzeria, 77^th St & 1^st Ave

Overheard by: Eric

Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Henry Pena

Posh‐looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Ladle

White hip‐hopper on cell: Yeah, she’s so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude!

–Broome & Forsyth

Overheard by: Terry

Posted on March 5, 2023
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Ass, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Friends, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Girls, Internet, JFK Airport, Lower East Side, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers

I Just Wear an Asian Mask to Attract Comments From Nice Men Like You

Random thug: How you doin’?
Asian girl: (ignores him)
Random thug: You Asian? Or are you Chinese?
Asian girl: Neither! (walks away)

–Queens

Overheard by: Long Island white boy

Posted on February 15, 2023
Asians, Girls, Pick-up Lines, Queens, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Thugs

Tonight’s Movie: The Last Homorai

Black bag lady: Oh, look, I like this samurai boy here…
Attractive Asian man, passing: Ah, thank you for getting the cultural reference right!
Black bag lady: You married?
Attractive Asian man, walking away: No, I’m gay!

–Long Island City

Posted on September 8, 2022
Asians, Bag ladies, Gays and Lesbians, Long Island, Marriage, Race, Sexuality

Oh, Come On– Your First‐Graders Aren’t That Bad.

Asian woman #1 (reading ad for tv show): This looks kind of like Dynasty. You know, rich people stabbing each other in the back.
Asian woman #2: Oh, please. Look – the whole cast is white. I see conniving white people all day at work: why watch them again when I get home?

–4 Train

Overheard by: Iris K.

Posted on August 30, 2022
Asians, Default, Money & Class, Murder, Race, TV, Women

At Least They Agree About a Silly Outfit

Proud Asian father to friend: And my little one here, he’s going to be a football player when he grows up!
Little Asian boy: No way, Jose! I’m gonna be a Power Ranger!

–East Flatbush, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Frado

Posted on July 20, 2022
Asians, Boys, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Dads, Family Ties, Football, Friends, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Parents, TV

If You’ve Ever Had Kimchi, You’d Understand.

Old lady tourist: Excuse me sir, do you know where the Chinatown is?
Flaming gay Asian guy: Yeah. It’s downtown. Just follow the smell, girl… Follow that smell!

–Canal St

Overheard by: InShock

Posted on July 20, 2022
Asians, Directions, Old People, Queer guys, Sensory Experiences, Soho, Tourists

None of Those Hand‐Me‐Down Genes for Me

Asian nerd #1: … Of course, ’cause I’d rather all of them have my DNA and not some other random person’s!
Asian nerd #2: No, of course, dude, I totally agree.

–NYU