Murray Hill and Gramercy

Your Overheard Guide to New York

Guy #1: Well, to the west is Chelsea, down past 14th Street is the Village, uptown is Harlem, down past Houston is Soho; the Lower East Side is South past the Village.
Guy #2: What’s this area called?
Guy #1: I have no idea…

–15th & 2nd

Overheard by: Bucky Turco

Old tour man: This is Chelsea, where the homosexual male and homosexual female live. To the right you can spot an interesting haircut on that man. That’s called a Tommyhawk haircut.

–Gray Line bus, 14th & 7th

Overheard by: Hank Luxford

A Prescription of Wednesday One-liners

Old lady: I’m telling you: she’s allergic to snow!

–28th & Park

Overheard by: Eliot Glazer

This Routine Killed at the Kindergarten

Girl: Have some! Please!
Guy: Uh, no. I hate bananas.
Girl: Come on! This shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
Guy: B-a-n-a-no.

–Chat ‘n’ Chew, East 16th Street

The Comics Section is a Real Gas

Girl #1: …and I went on the American Nazi Party website, and it’s–
Girl #2: I know! It’s hysterical.

–26th & Park

Overheard by: Kevin Stone

She’ll Never Make it to Banana Republic

Woman: Are these shirts still buy one, get one free?
Cashier lady: Um, I have no idea. Let me check.

She goes check signs and asks managers.

Cashier lady: No, they’re not. I’m not sure they ever were buy one, get one free.
Woman: Oh, I was just kidding. I wanted to see what you would say. I figured it was worth a shot.
Cashier lady: Oh, well thanks for making me walk all over the store for no reason.
Woman: That’s how you get success, honey.

–The Gap, 18th & 5th

More Like a Pickle

Sober black guy: Oh no, call the ambulance, white man down!
Drunk white guy: I know, I’m such a cracker!

–Lexington & 22nd

Overheard by: Zane Gould

As Fucked Up As “Working Her Like a Slave”?

Jewess: My roommate won’t let me use the oven because it hasn’t been made kosher yet.
Jew: Hey, just tell her we’d all be burned in the same oven. That’ll go over well.

–Flatiron Building office

Treats and Tricks (Happy Halloween)

Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til tomorrow?
Shop trannie: No, we can’t put costumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I already got the short shorts and everything, and this shirt would go perfect but I just can’t afford it ’til tomorrow.

–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue

Overheard by: sharyn jackson

Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurses?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurses, but we have some slut-devils and some slut-flight attendents.

–Ricky’s, 8th Avenue

Overheard by: Josh Caldwell

Guy: What’s she going as for Halloween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stupid ho-bag.

–Elevator, Water Street Residence

Overheard by: Dan & Travis

Guy: I’ve always loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, considering…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fucking extra. And you didn’t even have a single line.

–Ricky’s, 22nd & 3rd

Guy: What is this, All Harlots’ Eve?

–3rd Avenue & 8th Street

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

A-Rod Threw Too Many Interceptions

Guy #1: Well the Yanks definitely blew this one.
Guy #2: Yeah, no Super Bowl for them this year.

–21st & 3rd

Overheard by: George Geotes

Looks Like the Bug-eyed Bronxite is Toast

Howard Dean: …I think Ferrer can win–
Man: Mr. Dean! I would have voted for you, man!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
Man: I would have voted for you if you remove all the poison in your
body!…I would have voted for you if you loved America! You would have been a great president, but only if you weren’t so poisonous!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…

–20th & Park

Overheard by: Steve Gartland

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