Jewess: My roommate won’t let me use the oven because it hasn’t been made kosher yet.
Jew: Hey, just tell her we’d all be burned in the same oven. That’ll go over well.
–Flatiron Building office
Jewess: My roommate won’t let me use the oven because it hasn’t been made kosher yet.
Jew: Hey, just tell her we’d all be burned in the same oven. That’ll go over well.
–Flatiron Building office
Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til tomorrow?
Shop trannie: No, we can’t put costumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I already got the short shorts and everything, and this shirt would go perfect but I just can’t afford it ’til tomorrow.
–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: sharyn jackson
Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurses?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurses, but we have some slut-devils and some slut-flight attendents.
–Ricky’s, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Guy: What’s she going as for Halloween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stupid ho-bag.
–Elevator, Water Street Residence
Overheard by: Dan & Travis
Guy: I’ve always loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, considering…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fucking extra. And you didn’t even have a single line.
–Ricky’s, 22nd & 3rd
Guy: What is this, All Harlots’ Eve?
–3rd Avenue & 8th Street
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy #1: Well the Yanks definitely blew this one.
Guy #2: Yeah, no Super Bowl for them this year.
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: George Geotes
Howard Dean: …I think Ferrer can win–
Man: Mr. Dean! I would have voted for you, man!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
Man: I would have voted for you if you remove all the poison in your
body!…I would have voted for you if you loved America! You would have been a great president, but only if you weren’t so poisonous!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Steve Gartland
Guy #1: So how was your Rosh Hashanah?
Guy #2: I got a blowjob at a movie theater. Since I was watching Flightplan does that count as mile high?
–23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: dan levin
Chick: Wal-Mart smells like they’re cooking babies.
–University Hall, E. 14th Street
Girl #1: Well…I think it will work out okay…I mean, it’s just so nice and thick.
Girl #2: Well, let me tell you…it’s just the way I was born. I looked at that and I was like, that’s huge! I’m gonna die!
–34th & Park
Overheard by: mariana
Foreign guy: Chicken fries.
Burger lady: What do you want to drink?
Foreign guy: Beer.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer.
Foreign guy: Budweiser.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer, sir.
Foreign guy: No beer? You have no beer?
Burger lady: No, sir.
Foreign guy: Can I see the manager, please?
–Burger King, 33rd & 5th
Overheard by: thomas
College guy #1: Yo, do you know who directed Jaws 2?
College guy #2: Yeah. Oh wait, you mean the second one?
–23rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Matthew Pollock
Guy: He’s 31 and already he’s going through a mid-life crisis.
Girl: You’re 30 and you’ve been going through crises after crises after crises.
Guy: But I’m a Jew.
–19th & 5th
