Mouhbreather: Ralph, what time is 19?
Ralph: 7.
Mouthbreather: 7? Damn.
—-Quizno’s, King’s Highway & Coney Island Ave.
Mouhbreather: Ralph, what time is 19?
Ralph: 7.
Mouthbreather: 7? Damn.
—-Quizno’s, King’s Highway & Coney Island Ave.
HS boy #1: So you are like Chinese, right?
HS boy #2: No dude, I’m Peruvian.
HS boy #1: Where in China is that?
–4 train
Overheard by: Richard Bird
Woman: How did you get that big scar on your face?
Man: The war in Iraq.
Woman: That’s still going on?
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Jonathan
Guy: Where is the nearest subway?
Girl: We are not eating at Subway.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: Charles Star
Teenage girl #1: So Judge Judy is a racist.
Teenage girl #2: Isn’t she in charge of all the New York judges, don’t they all report to her?
Teenage girl #3: Nah, I think she’s just in charge of the TV judges.
–2 train
Overheard by: Lisa Marshall
Trainer: Very good! 25!
Woman: I have to do 25 of them?
Trainer: No, no. You’re lifting 25 pounds.
Woman: 25 and 25 is 50.
–Synergy, Park & 33rd
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Trish
Schoolgirl: …then the teacher said “Silence”. Silence is just a fancy word for “Shut the fuck up”.
–Union Square station
Black mom: Spatula, I’ve got two words for you: be-have!
–6th Avenue salon
Boy, 8: Sorry, Dad. I had to stop because my peg-leg got stuck!
–Park Slope
Woman: Why are you smiling and licking your lips at me? Do you do this to all the customers?
–J & R Music World, Park Row
Overheard by: mimi lester
Chick #1: What street are we getting off at again?
Chick #2: 59th street.
Chick #1: I hope we are on the right train.
Chick #2: Of course we are. I think it’s the next stop.
Conductor: This is 72nd street, transfer to the 1,2,3 trains–
Chick #1: There’s the express. Should we switch trains?
Chick #2: No, we’ll switch at 50th street.
–Uptown #9 train
Overheard by: Marc
