Stupidity

Rich girl #1: You’ve got it wrong. The Shiites are the majority in Iraq.
Rich girl #2: Oh, well if the Sunni don’t like it, they should just move back to Iran.

–91st & Madison

Overheard by: Sennott

Two guys and a girl enter the hospital and ask for the restroom. A few minutes later as they’re leaving the building the security guard talks to them.

Security guard: That’ll be $20.
Guy: What?
Security guard: Ain’t nothing for free at the hospital…unless you have an insurance card. Have a good night folks!

–Mount Sinai hospital, 5th Avenue

Overheard by: Vanilla

World-famous doctor: Do you know what I love? Dyslexic Black people. For instance, the other day a Black guy stopped me in his car as I was walking and asked me, “How do I get to the FRD?”.

–Tisch hospital, 33rd Street

Girl: That’s so scary.
Boy: What?
Girl: The third rail.
Boy: Teah.
Girl: That should be like a movie title or something.
Boy: Third Rail…I should put that in my notebook.

–Trinity School, W. 91st Street

Overheard by: Alexis

Girl #1: I wouldn’t get married in New York, no way.
Girl #2. Me neither.
Girl #1: Out of town somewhere, New Haven, Scarsdale: way better. It’d be ridiculous here. Can you imagine?
Girl #3: Yup, right.
Girl #1: Only if I married for money. If he has money, then it’s a different story. Let’s say, 250k a year. Stockbroker, mortgage investment banker, lawyer surgeon, you know. At least 250 grand, or it might as well be in Boston. And I have to have an au pair, later.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Christopher Lee

Guy in car: Hey, what’s that white stuff in the trees?
Pedestrian: Umm…blossoms?
Guy in car: Yeah, but what are they?
Pedestrian: White blossoms?

–88th & 5th

Overheard by: Siobhan

Girl on cell: Wait, you mean John? Like, John John?

–Astor Place

Clerk: What’s in the box you’re shipping?
Customer: A computer.
Clerk: Where’s it going?
Customer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that domestic?
Customer: No, that’d be fairly international.

–Kinko’s, Duane Street

Overheard by: Joshua Cody

Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin America!

–Columbia University dorm

Midwestern mom: Oh my word, that mannequin has nipples!

–Saks Fifth Avenue

Girl: Whoa, that building is tall!

–Empire State Building

Southern lady on cell: New York City, New York…Yes, I’d like the listing for Starbucks…You mean there’s more than one?

–Times Square

Woman on cell: They have strange stores here. She made me come to this place called Archaeology.

–Anthropologie, 5th Avenue

Overheard by: rehey11

Tourist chick: OK, this is 14th Avenue, we are only three stops away, we should prepare to get out. OK, everybody stand up and get to the doors right now!

–E train

Overheard by: Ting

Softball coach: Who’s not here? Who’s ever not here, raise your hand!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Andrea

Woman: Some people are idea people but don’t do anything about it, and some people are executioners.

–2/3 train

Hippie: Yeah, it sucks, he needs a quintuplet bypass!

–Red Hook post office

Overheard by: Mia Mylet

Girl: Well, I’m taking Portuguese this semester, ’cause it’s a requirement to be an accountant.

–NYU Bobst Library

Overheard by: Greg

Guy: What’s this wet shit falling from the sky?

–Greenpoint

Overheard by: Heather Letzkus