Guy: I saw that movie Hide and Seek. It sucked.
Girl: I don’t know that one. Who’s in it?
Guy: Ummm…that guy from Meet the Fockers.
Girl: …Ben Stiller?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Are you talking about Ben Stiller?
Guy: No, no, the old guy.
Girl: Robert DeNiro?!
Guy: Yeah, him.
Girl: You call Robert DeNiro “that guy from Meet the Fockers“?!

–1 train

Overheard by: Brian J. Heck

Bronzing Blonde: So this guy was like “I can’t tan in that bed, I’ll burn,” so I said, “Um, your last name is Garcia, you shouldn’t burn that easily.”
Bronzing Brunette: Seriously? I mean just because your last name is Garcia doesn’t mean it’s okay to be stupid.

–Tanning salon, 7th Avenue between 38th & 39th

Guy #1: Man, things ain’t been the same since my brother died in WTC.
Guy #2: What? He ain’t dead; he’s in jail, son.
Guy #1: Man, why you gotta–

–E train

Guy: Where do you live again?
Girl: Right over there.
Guy: Can I walk you home?
Girl: But it’s right over there…

–Orchard Street

Girl on phone: I forget what the BD stands for, but I’m pretty sure the SM stand for sado-masochism. My ad was in the platonic section, anyway.

–60th & Columbus

Overheard by: Alaska

Girl #1: I don’t know how I got pregnant.
Girl #2: Well, don’t you use birth control?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s why I don’t understand. Right after I had sex I squirted in a lot of that birth control foam cream stuff.
Girl #2: After? You’re supposed to put it in before. That’s why it prevents pregnancy.
Girl #1: Oh? I didn’t know that.
Girl #2: You know you oughta get a IUD. There’s nothing to remember or know, they just stick it in there and you can like keep it in there forever!
Girl #1: Who sticks it in?
Girl #2: Forget it. Just go to the doctor like right away like yesterday. Uh, I mean as soon as possible.

–1st & 1st

Overheard by: Deborah Olin

Eurochick: I’ve got to dance tonight. I didn’t make any money here this week.

–Soho salon

Woman on cell: Where are you? I’m lost!…I don’t know! I’m uptown. I’m on a corner. I’m in front of a tall building.

–57th & Lex

Overheard by: Heather

Guy #1: She’s tired.
Guy #2: So is her.

–7th Ave & 23rd St.

Homey #1: Yo, hold up…Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.

–L Train, 8th Avenue

Overheard by: Brian McCaffrey

Thug: Damn! You can’t go nowhere now without seeing faggots. I saw two brothers holding hands on the train the other day. It’s like they were coming out of the closet on the train!
Thugette: There ain’t no closet on the train.

–L Train, 8th Avenue

Guy #1: Is this that beer I left here last time?
Girl: No, I just can’t open it.

He tries to, fails, and says: Oh I see, you mean you can’t open it physically.
Guy #2: As opposed to what, metaphorically?

–UES apartment

Overheard by: ian