Girl: When we were younger, we totally took for granted the fun in playing Spin the Bottle…I would love to play now but it wouldn’t be the same.
Man: Yeah, playing now would just end with an abortion two months later.
Girl: Ugh.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Jeff Rigby
Chick: Okay guys, I’m going to subway surf in heels. I haven’t done it in so long, I hope I don’t fail.
Old man: You will fail.
Chick: Oh…
Old man: 75% of your weight is on your toes, only 25% is on your heel. You will fall. That’s from 25 years of martial arts experience.
–R train
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Guy: I think we should get Indian food for dinner.
Girl: Indian food? What do they sell? Buffalo and maize?
–W train
Overheard by: Brent Jordan
Girl: I heard that it costs more to execute someone than to keep them in jail for 40 years.
Guy: Yeah, I heard that too. You know, because of the electricity.
–F train
Overheard by: Amber
Guy: So…this is Bedford Avenue, right?
Chick: Yeah…
Guy: So…are we in Bedford-Stuyvesant?
–Williamsburg
Preppy guy: I wonder what those nerds are up to over there.
Indian chick: How can you tell they’re nerds from over here?
Preppy guy: The only girl with them has a really fat ass and one of the guys has a ponytail.
Indian chick: That’s pretty harsh.
Preppy guy: I just said they’re nerds. I’m sure they’re great people. Probably better than anybody we know.
Indian chick: You think so?
Preppy guy: No. They’re nerds.
–McGolrick Park, Greenpoint
Jason Mraz: I pride myself on trying to be a normal guy–
Girl in audience: Let’s have sex!
Jason Mraz: –See, that’s not normal. Hey, and since this is technically my place of work, isn’t that sexual harrassment?
–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Amelia Stanley
Guy: What language is that?
Girl #1: French.
Guy: Where are you girls from?
Girl #1: Morocco.
Guy: Oh, it’s really beautiful there. Really wealthy too, right?
Girl #2: That’s Monaco.
–Elevator, Lexington between 31st & 32nd
Hipster guy: So where are you from originally?
Cabbie: West Africa.
Hipster guy: Oh, really? Where?
Cabbie: Africous.
Hipster guy: Where?
Cabbie: Afri-cous*.
Hipster guy: Wow. I thought I knew all the countries in Africa.
Cabbie: Yes, you know it. It is beautiful.
–Astoria cab
*Ivory Coast through a West African accent.
Overheard by: Martha K, also in the cab
Girl #1: Seriously, don’t ask me to go dancing if we’re not in South America.
Girl #2: Ha, ha. Yeah. What about Europe?
Girl #1: Eh…
Girl #2: Like, Spain.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess Spain. And maybe Morocco.
Girl #2: Morocco is in Africa.
Girl #1: Pretend like I didn’t just say that.
Girl #2: Now I understand why you dropped out of college!
–1 train
Overheard by: h. goldmine
Guy: We could go to Coyote Ugly.
Girl: Or Cheap Shots!
Guy: Ugh.
Girl: Boo-yah! I bet that’s the only place down here I could yell “boo-yah” and people would yell it with me. With sincerity.
–1st Avenue & 9th Street
Teen boy: Tweety Bird is a boy or girl?
Teen girl: It’s a boy. They got a blue Tweety too, I seen it.
Teen boy: Yeah yeah, they got a black Tweety Bird, too. I seen it before.
Teen girl: Where did you see a black Tweety? There ain’t no black Tweety, stupid.
–D train
Overheard by: christian koch
