Girls

Girl: Oh, so he’s a total stoner?
Guy: Yeah, he only does coke when you shove it up his nose.

–14th & 1st

Twin girl #A: It’s my birthday on Sunday…
Unique girl #1: Oh, so like, your sister was the one whose birthday it was Thursday. God, this must be so confusing for you guys.
Unique girl #2: Um, no, I highly doubt it is. They’re twins; they were born on the same day!
Unique girl #1: Did your parents just change it on the birth certificate to make it less confusing…or what? I would’ve just let you guys keep the different birthdays.

–40th & 5th

Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!

–116th Street 1 station

Girl #1: Do you have a cold or something?
Girl #2: No…It’s my allergies. It’s not like this where I’m from.
Girl #1: Where are you from again?
Girl #2: Arizona.
Girl #1: Oh, pollen and stuff?
Girl #2: No, all these crowds and their germs. It’s not like that out West.

–C train

Overheard by: BBW

Girl: Shoot! I’m sorry.
Guy: So where are you from? Because I know it’s not New York if you say “shoot!”.

–Union Square Regal Cinemas

Overheard by: Jeff Hubbard

Guy on cell: Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty cool out here I guess…you should totally come visit…It’s just…sometimes I feel like New York is just one big Ann Arbor.

–Houston & Suffolk

Overheard by: jesse

Man: We’re not from here. We’re from Pennsylvania, where they’re normal.

–B63 bus

Waiter: How was everything tonight?
Woman: Absolutely wonderful! This was some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had! And you can take my word for it. I’m from Colorado. We know Mexican food.

–Mexico Lindo, 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Carol

Girl: Well, tell Joe my fist has a suggestion for his face.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Two people are making out.

Guy #2: That’s just wrong.
Girl #2: You just don’t understand, it’s love.
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s been love since Friday night at the bar.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl: Look, Rocafella Plaza is right there!
Guy: Where? I don’t see shit.
Girl: I hope you can see if you step in it
Guy: Actually I smell shit right now, do you smell that shit?
Girl: Yeah I do, but I bet you can’t see it.

–49th & 5th

Overheard by: Christine Rinaldi

Girl: …so then there was blood all over the wall–
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: Yeah, so we were doing it in the bathroom and I mean, the
blood was, like, everywhere and we were like, okay, we’re at the
Plaza, we gotta get out. We were sooooo shitfaced. So then we left and got outta there…

–DuMont, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Anna K.

Chick #1: Hoboken just sounds dirty to me.
Chick #2: Why? Because like, “hobos”?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, it’s uplifting. Like, “hobos can!” get their lives together. It’s not called “hobo can’t.”

–9th Street PATH station

Drunk girl: I can’t believe I have to take this train to Hoboken! This is horrible! Thank God it’s just for tonight, I can’t imagine doing this every day! This is the worst!
Guy: Where in the city do you live?
Drunk girl: I live in Rutherford.

–PATH train

Overheard by: kt

White girl: That’s terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I’m not is half-black.

–Columbia University