Girl #1: She’s, like, a total socialist. She’s all like, “Capitalism is bad. America is bad.” And she’s always plotting about how we can get their money. You can’t take other people’s money. What’s wrong with you?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: But as extremists go, she’s pretty cool.
Girl #2: Totally.
–L train
Overheard by: Samuel Bennett
Chick: I think the difference between a blog and a website is that a blog is something you can set up without doing any of that website shit.
—Black Table party, Slainte, The Bowery
Girl: How come music downloads here cost $1 and they cost $0.10 in Europe?
Guy: Because anything that makes sense can’t happen in America any more.
Girl: Fair enough.
–86th & 1st
Runner chick #1: What the hell are those people doing?
Runner chick #2: They’re in some sort of boot camp class.
Runner chick #1: They’re military?
Runner chick #2: No, I think they just pay someone to get them in shape.
Runner chick #1: But they’re so sweaty and out of breath! I never get that way with my trainer!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Peter
Teen girl: Yeah, and then I woke up in a pool of his vomit. It was awesome.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: SammyCat
Construction worker on cell: Yeah, she walked right in…Man, I was friggin’ jerking off!…No. She stayed and watched…Of course I’m calling her again.
–53rd & Lexington
Man on cell: She and I both got diarrhea at 11:00 exactly. I mean, we’re like E.T. and Elliot.
–20th & 5th
Girl on cell: I’m telling you, watching my boyfriend get head was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!
–F train
Overheard by: seraphina
Guy #1: Frank was sneezing so loud I could hear him all the way inside.
Girl: Well, that explains the frown on the back of your face.
Guy #2: Do you even have a back of your face?
–Chambers Street station
Overheard by: James Q Wilson
Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.
–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Jon Edelman
Guy: Aww shit. I didn’t even smoke this morning.
Girl: Can you smoke at work?
Guy: Naw.
Girl: What about at lunch?
Guy: Naw. I don’t want to be all, “Hey man, what’s up?” after lunch.
–L train
Overheard by: Matt Ferrin
Girl: Your breath is stinky.
Guy: Please. My breath is so fresh they should name a mint after it.
Girl: How about excre-mint?
–56th & 1st
Girl #1: I just got a membership at Carnegie Hall.
Girl #2: You should get a membership to the gym.
Girl #1: But this is like a workout…for my soul.
–Lexington & 53rd
