Girl #1: Are you stinking up the room?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I haven’t eaten in like three days. I would love to take a shit right now.
–Flatiron Lounge ladies’ room, W. 19th Street
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Girl #1: Are you stinking up the room?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I haven’t eaten in like three days. I would love to take a shit right now.
–Flatiron Lounge ladies’ room, W. 19th Street
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Guy at urinal: Yo, Marcus, that was you in there?
Guy at sink: Hey. Yeah.
Guy at urinal: Jesus Christ.
Guy at sink: What’s that supposed to mean?
Guy at urinal: Well, it don’t smell like flowers.
–Puck Fair men’s room, Lafayette Street
Overheard by: Bill Shunn
Lady in stall #1: So, you want to look for that book you wanted?
Lady in stall #2: We are in the bathroom!
Lady in stall #1: It’s a bookstore bathroom.
Saleslady in stall #3: Which book are you looking for?
Lady in stall #2: The one by Tupac Shakur.
Saleslady in stall #3: We have it in the Media aisle.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Lady: I come here every weekend. It’s my church.
–Manhattan Mall women’s bathroom
Overheard by: Dolly Lowenstein
Guy: She became a Republican to spite our father.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Woman: I really hate Bush. I can’t stand him. The world would be such a better place if he just died…But then there’s Cheney…
–6 train
Drunk guy: You wait right here, I’m going home to get my gun, I’ll be right back!
–23rd between 8th & 9th
Guy: This is the guy I got arrested with in San Antonio for pissing on the Alamo.
–LES party
Overheard by: Caz
Girl #1: You are way more charitable than I am.
Girl #2: Are you saying that only Catholics are charitable?
Girl #1: What?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Karla
In a crowded bathroom, a drunk guy at the short urinal calls over to his friend about six urinals down.
Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What?
–Penn Station men’s room
Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burning?
Girl #2: What?
–M66 bus
Overheard by: Gabriella
Nursing student #1: That wouldn’t happen to him. He’s not like that. His blood isn’t bad or anything.
Nursing student #2: No, his blood is fine.
Nursing student #1: The only thing bad about his blood is that he’s a man.
–NYU bathroom
Two women are waiting for the bathroom.
Woman #1: They’ve been 20 minutes in there, all you need to do is rip down your underwear and you’re done, it’s not difficult!
Woman #2: Yeah, are they, like, having babies in there?
–Barnes & Noble, 5th Avenue
Teen #1: No, like, I feel BAD for ugly babies. It’s not their fault.
Teen #2: I mean, it’s like, oh my God, your little girl is so cute… what, it’s a boy? Oh my God, I am so sorry.
Teen #3: People always thought I was a boy when I was little. It was, like, so weird. Because I was obviously really cute, and I… I still am. Right, ladies?
Teen #1: Um, can you hand me a paper towel?
Teen #2: I have a headache. Ugh. Damn morning-after pill. No ugly babies for me!
–TGI Friday’s, 59th & Lex
Overheard by: not admitting she was in a T.G.I.Fridays
Greek girl #1: I’m drunk.
Greek girl #2: Being drunk makes me happy!
Greek girl #1: I’m smiling.
Greek girl #2: Smiling makes me happy!
–Cavo bathroom, Astoria
Younger kid: Damn, look at all the puddles of water in here.
Older kid: Look like hurricane Katrina hit this bitch.
(younger kid laughs)
Older kid: Niggas from New Orleans swimmin in the water and shit.
–Macy’s Bathroom
Overheard by: Anon
