Dad: Do you want to go home and get s-t-o-n-e-d?
–16th & 5th
Overheard by: braun bowery
Dad: Do you want to go home and get s-t-o-n-e-d?
–16th & 5th
Overheard by: braun bowery
Dad: …you’ve got to use your middle finger.
Son: Which one’s the middle finger?
Dad: This one.
Son: Why’s it called the middle finger?
Dad: Because it’s in the middle of your hand, I guess. There’s two fingers on either side.
Son: That’s retarded.
Dad: It may sound retarded, but that’s the way it is.
–Astoria corner store
Teenage girl: So do you get it now?!
Dad: I know honey…J. Lo.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Katia
Old woman: Did you see this play?
Old man: Yes.
Old woman: Well, do you know who the father of the baby is?
Old man: Well, I know it wasn’t me.
–59th & Park
Black guy: They’re taking over! Where the shit am I supposed to eat?
–Rivington Street
Customer: I’ll have a slice of the eggplant.
Pizza guy: You know that’s organic right?
Customer: That’s fine. How long have you guys been organic?
Pizza guy: Oh, about 2 weeks now. The white girls are loving it.
–Delancey & Essex pizzeria
Overheard by: Brian
Dad (to son, 6): Do you want to go to Cafe Pertutti or Oren’s Daily Roast?
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: RPK
Some kids were making gun noises.
Dad: Nah, the trick is to use a silencer.
–Amity Diner, UES
Overheard by: Anastasia Dyakovskaya
Guy on cell: …so then he just punched me, yeah! Just punched me right in the face. Well I figured I oughta get dressed and leave her room, yeah, he was pissed…No, she’s his only kid.
–Empire State Building
Young girl: We can share!
Father: We’ll have to throw away the choking hazard pieces.
Young girl: These? I wanna keep the choking hazard!
–Rite-Aid, Hudson & West 10th
20-something dude: I just don’t see how I’m supposed to be upset about it.
Father: The Holocaust?!
–E 79th St
Overheard by: Helena the Great
Father: Having you and your mother in the same room is like having the Communist party.
–Murray Hill
