Girl #1: How bad am I? I’m going to have sex tomorrow and then pay a shiva call.
Girl #2: Who cares? You’ve got needs.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
Girl #2: Remember when you had a harem?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn’t have sex with any of them. I just fooled around with them.
–Bleecker Street Bar
Tourist woman #1: This is a really quaint neighborhood!
Tourist woman #2: Yeah, but it’s really expensive. A small one-bedroom apartment is like $1,000 a month!
Tourist woman #1: Oh, my! Why would someone pay that?
–Bleecker & 11th
Queer: I think I am going to go running.
Girl: Did you masturbate today? You seem very antsy.
–1st Avenute & 10th Street
Overheard by: Abby Nydam
Girl #1: I really need to buy cigarettes. Would they sell them there?
Girl #2: Um…that stands for “General Nutrition Center.”
–10th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: djlindee
Drunk girl #1: He’s totally cute, but I find his moles distracting.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah and he kinda reminds me of a Klingon…I’d still make out with him though.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Girl #1: Damn you’re so unhip these days.
Girl #2: What, because I don’t want to bed with my supposedly straight female friend?
Girl #1: The club: Bed. You really need to get out more.
–Madame X, Houston Street
Overheard by: Leonora Seinfeld
Girl: This isn’t right. We’re supposed to be on Murray Street.
Guy: Dude, you know I’m dyslexic!
–Warren & Greenwich
Girl: Who’s playing tonight?
Guy: Coheed and Cambria.
Girl: Oh man, I shouldn’t have done all that acid.
–15th & Irving
White man: Yeah, and he has that puppet. I’m not sure if it’s a hand puppet or the kind with strings, but man, that shit used to fuck me up.
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Eve’s droppings
Lady: So if I get the eggs, what does that come with?
Waiter: Potatoes, toast…
Lady: What kind of potatoes?
Waiter: French fries.
Lady: What other kind of potatoes do you have?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes, baked potato…
Lady: Oh, those don’t go with eggs. Well, since it’s extra you can leave it off.
Waiter: The potatoes come with the eggs.
Lady: Can I substitute bacon?
Waiter: I can bring you a side of bacon.
Lady: How many strips come in a side, two or three?
Waiter: Three.
Lady: Can I just have two?
–University Restaurant, University Place
