The Village

Tourist woman #1: This is a really quaint neighborhood!
Tourist woman #2: Yeah, but it’s really expensive. A small one-bedroom apartment is like $1,000 a month!
Tourist woman #1: Oh, my! Why would someone pay that?

–Bleecker & 11th

Queer: I think I am going to go running.
Girl: Did you masturbate today? You seem very antsy.

–1st Avenute & 10th Street

Overheard by: Abby Nydam

Girl #1: I really need to buy cigarettes. Would they sell them there?
Girl #2: Um…that stands for “General Nutrition Center.”

–10th Street & 7th Avenue

Overheard by: djlindee

Drunk girl #1: He’s totally cute, but I find his moles distracting.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah and he kinda reminds me of a Klingon…I’d still make out with him though.

–Thompson & Bleecker

Girl #1: Damn you’re so unhip these days.
Girl #2: What, because I don’t want to bed with my supposedly straight female friend?
Girl #1: The club: Bed. You really need to get out more.

–Madame X, Houston Street

Overheard by: Leonora Seinfeld

Girl: This isn’t right. We’re supposed to be on Murray Street.
Guy: Dude, you know I’m dyslexic!

–Warren & Greenwich

Girl: Who’s playing tonight?
Guy: Coheed and Cambria.
Girl: Oh man, I shouldn’t have done all that acid.

–15th & Irving

White man: Yeah, and he has that puppet. I’m not sure if it’s a hand puppet or the kind with strings, but man, that shit used to fuck me up.

–Houston & Varick

Overheard by: Eve’s droppings

Lady: So if I get the eggs, what does that come with?
Waiter: Potatoes, toast…
Lady: What kind of potatoes?
Waiter: French fries.
Lady: What other kind of potatoes do you have?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes, baked potato…
Lady: Oh, those don’t go with eggs. Well, since it’s extra you can leave it off.
Waiter: The potatoes come with the eggs.
Lady: Can I substitute bacon?
Waiter: I can bring you a side of bacon.
Lady: How many strips come in a side, two or three?
Waiter: Three.
Lady: Can I just have two?

–University Restaurant, University Place

Girl #1: …was supposed to be there. You know, from The Golden Girls.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what happened?
Girl #1: Didn’t show, I hear she’s a real bitch.
Girl #2: Isn’t she like really old now?
Girl #1: She was really old like 25 years ago.

–11th Street & 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Eric