Eat, Drink, Wednesday One-liners

British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.

–27th Street office

Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau

Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.

–82nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: JY

Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.

–McDonald’s, 47th Street

Overheard by: Christa Bramberger

As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: tee sul

Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.

–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street

Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Cynthia

Posted on May 8, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Favorites, Food, Foreigners, Glad the Condom Broke, Hair, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, Only in New York, Penn Station, People, Places, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues, Washington Heights and Inwood, Williamsburg, Women, Yuppies

There Were Piles of Matzoh Balls Everywhere

Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…

–55th & 8th

Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson

Posted on May 4, 2025
Business and Commerce, Food, Girls, Guys, History & Geography, Jews, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nazis, Street

Wednesday One-liners Stand Behind the White Line

Black man: What is that, a raincoat? You should hang onto that. You never know when it might come back into style.

–M15 bus

Overheard by: Palaverist

Driver: Step allll the way in the back please! All the way in the back! There’s some cheese and crackers there.

–M42 bus

Overheard by: Vas Sloutchevsky

Puerto Rican chick: That mothafucka’s crazy. I ain’t puttin’ that in my butt.

–B46 bus

Overheard by: Jennifer Hess

Posted on April 10, 2025
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Black People, Bus Drivers, Fashion, Food, On the Bus, Puerto Ricans

“Not as sweet. I sure could use a RIGHT CLICK BUTTON.”

A woman noisily bites into an apple, opposite a guy typing on his iMac laptop. She says: Mine’s delicious, how’s yours?

–A train

Posted on March 31, 2025
Favorites, Food, Gadgets, Laptop, On the Subway, People, Places, Topics

Shalom, Wednesday One-liners

Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz.

–F train

Overheard by: bluesdog

Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.

–Union Square

Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it.

–UWS elevator

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted on March 13, 2025
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazies, Food, Health and Hygiene, JAPs, Jews, Judaism, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Classy Wednesday One-liners

Dowager: I’ll take a Swiss cock, please. That looks good.

–Bakery, 58th & 7th

Man on cell: That stuff was too expensive. Why don’t I just buy one of those cheap necklaces on the street and you can put in a blue boz and say it was from Tiffany’s.

–57th & 5th

Overheard by: Angie

Preppy: Hey Dave, put another beer in this cooze!

–Blind Tiger Ale House, Hudson Street