Waiter: I assume you guys are on a date?
Guy #1: Yep.
Waiter: I just love seeing two nice young men together, so I brought you key lime shots to go with the key lime pie. Enjoy.
Guy #2: Bitch, you’ll do anything for alcohol.
–East of Eighth, W. 23rd Street
Dude #1: Turkey and swiss.
Deliman: Sorry, no cheese.
Dude #1: Jesus Christ! What kind of deli doesn’t have cheese?
Dude #2: Um, dude…Jewish deli…
Dude #1: I don’t suppose they’d have hot peppers either, then.
–2nd Avenue Deli
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl #1: You can’t eat that chicken. There was a bug in it.
Girl #2: But I’m so hungry.
Girl #1: What kind of bug is it anyways?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I feel like crying.
–Waverly Diner
Black cyclist guy: Where’s all the black people around here? Did y’all eat all the black people?
White girl: They taste yummy!
–Houston & West Broadway
Overheard by: alyssa
Guy on cell: When you get here I will make you breakfast sausage. And I am not talking euphemistically.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: Alison Foster
Old lady #1: What are you eating? It smells good.
Old lady #2: Nicorette.
–DR2 theater, E. 15th Street
Guy #1: I realized what the worst food ever is.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Lean Pockets.
–Gold’s Gym, W. 54th Street
Overheard by: Blake Henderson
Woman: So, yesterday I think I ate dog food again.
–Elevator, 90th & Colombus
Overheard by: Louise XIV
Guy: I think your soul would taste awesome.
Chick: Are you saying I’m a bad person?
–1 train
Overheard by: djlindee
Old woman: Can you put five shrimp in a bag for me to hold for a minute and then I’ll give you two back?
Seafood guy: Excuse me?
Old woman: Just put five shrimp in a bag for me, I need to hold it. I get energies from them. Just put five shrimp in a bag and give it to me to hold, and then I’ll give you two back. I get energies.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
