Southern woman: Why George, I’m just so proud of yew; I thought yew’d be grossed out by the Blue Man Group.
–Marriott Marquis, Times Square
Overheard by: Beantown Interloper
Southern woman: Why George, I’m just so proud of yew; I thought yew’d be grossed out by the Blue Man Group.
–Marriott Marquis, Times Square
Overheard by: Beantown Interloper
Chick: You know, I don’t believe Victorians shat.
Dude: Neither did they.
Chick: There is no way on Earth that what just came up from my system came up through theirs.
Dude: Surely not with that whole empire they were building.
–Pax Wholesome Foods, Times Square
Guy #1: I don’t think people get my humor. I don’t think they get the dry thing, but it’s also very toilet.
Guy #2: Okay, so basically, you have dry toilet humor.
Guy #1: Yes, there’s no water in that toilet.
Guy #2: So it’s more like a trough.
–BondSt, Bond Street
Girl: I need like an extra stomach outside my body that I can just dump out when it gets full so I don’t actually absorb all the calories.
Guy: They have that, honey. It’s called “bulimia”.
Girl: …Oh, like you haven’t considered it!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rachel
Chick on cell: That is not true!…No!…I would never do that! Gross! I so did not do that…Did I?…Really?…Oh, well, maybe I was too trashed to remember.
–Times Square
Arty girl: I may be hung over. I haven’t decided yet.
–Metropolitan Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: ~dana
Guy: So I find that when I taste champagne with someone, I have nothing to say.
–32nd & 6th
Chick: Wait, I really did sleep with that guy? I need to update my
Excel spreadsheet.
–Montien, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: djlindee
Erica: Welcome to Applebee’s, my name is Erica. Can I get you started with a drink, or a beverage?
–Applebee’s, W. 225th Street
Overheard by: MissDona
Queer on cell: Oh my God, did you hear? Liz has a date…yeah, with a guy…a straight guy…
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Cole
Suit on cell: Hi, I’m in Chelsea. I just bought the We Love Disco CD and two porn magazines.
–22nd between 7th & 8th
Black guy: Damn, those horses is gay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: seth scott barkley
Queer on cell: Hey, I got here early. The Starbucks is closed for renovations, so why don’t we just skip to the blowjob?
–7th & Grove
Chick: He was getting blown by a trannie and right before he came he said, “get out of my car, you faggot” and that’s how he knew he wasn’t gay.
–W Hotel bar, Union Square
Overheard by: Somebody nowhere
Guy: I mean, he’s weird. He’ll let me make out with him, but he won’t share his salsa.
–Bond & Lafayette
Queer: First of all, if I was going to have an orgy at four in the morning, I would not have carne asada first. Pttth! Second of all…um…carne asada is not pre-orgy food.
–Barrage, West 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Queer: I’m never having sex with another virgin again. When the virgin is on the receiving end it can be such a pain in the…yeah.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Woman on cell: Mom, he doesn’t have an accent, he’s gay!
–Madison & 52nd
Chick: What is the difference between the red top and the green top on the soy sauce?
Man: …The red one is spicy.
–Ruby Foo’s, 49th & Broadway
Guy on cell: Where am I? I’m always some place watching some crazy shit. I’m watching some motherfuckin’ Indian shit, son. Some shit from some country. They’re doing a rain dance, son. It’s gonna motherfuckin’ rain soon. They’re doing a motherfuckin’ rain dance, son. They’re dancing and shit.
–St. Mark’s Church
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Woman: Where are all the restaurants?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Kate
Woman on cell: Where am I? I’m at home; I’m just about to go down and get a cab. Where are you?
–Gristede’s, 63rd & West End
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Driving guy: Is this Brooklyn?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Driving guy: Excuse me, which way is Manhattan?
–40th & Broadway
Girl: Excuse me sir, how do you get to Times Square?
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Man on cell: No, no. I’ll never make it. I’m still in Jersey.
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: JDH
Alt girl: So his second cousin is also his dad. That’s fucking mashed up.
–Times Square
Teen girl: You sure it’s his, right? He didn’t take his cock out or nuthin’?
–Laundry room, 108th & 2nd
Overheard by: CK Allen
Chick: Yeah, so I’ve been making out with my stepcousin lately.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Kam Truhn
Tourist mom: What Broadway show should we see?
NY guy: Well, Wicked is good.
Tourist mom: I got five kids with me. You think I’m gonna pay? I meant what Broadway show can we see that we don’t have to pay for.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Peter Shankman
