Man: Oh my God, it’s sold out. What do we do?
Woman: I don’t know. Suicide?
–Film Forum, Houston Street
Man: Oh my God, it’s sold out. What do we do?
Woman: I don’t know. Suicide?
–Film Forum, Houston Street
Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til tomorrow?
Shop trannie: No, we can’t put costumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I already got the short shorts and everything, and this shirt would go perfect but I just can’t afford it ’til tomorrow.
–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: sharyn jackson
Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurses?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurses, but we have some slut-devils and some slut-flight attendents.
–Ricky’s, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Guy: What’s she going as for Halloween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stupid ho-bag.
–Elevator, Water Street Residence
Overheard by: Dan & Travis
Guy: I’ve always loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, considering…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fucking extra. And you didn’t even have a single line.
–Ricky’s, 22nd & 3rd
Guy: What is this, All Harlots’ Eve?
–3rd Avenue & 8th Street
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Copygirl: UK?
Chick: The United Kingdom.
Copygirl: The United Kingdom? Where’s that? Hey, Joyce! Where’s the United Kingdom?
Chick: …England. In Europe.
Copygirl: But I don’t see it here. British Columbia, Quebec, British
Isles, but no United Kingdom.
–Kinko’s, Duane Street
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Woman: Nigga, where you goin’?
Boy: Mom, action figures!
Woman: Nigga, the action figures is right here!
–Toys R’ Us, Times Square
Guy: So I went to the dollar store, looking for some art for my apartment. You wouldn’t believe how bad some of it was.
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Woman: Why are there always those hippie wierdos at Union Square Park?
Man: Oh, you mean the ones that play hacky sack all day?
Woman: Yeah, those people.
Man: And those people who sell their artwork on the sidewalk…
Woman: Yeah, exactly! You see them all over Union Square.
Man: Well, it’s clear where they come from.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Jennifer Cee
Man with briefcase: Is the boss in?
Store guy: No. He’s in back. What do you want? Why?
Man with briefcase: Because I can help you. You need me. Does anyone owe you money?
Store guy: What?
Man with briefcase: Do you have any non-paying accounts? Has anyone been skipping payments?
Store guy: Why?
Man with briefcase: Because I run a collection service. Here’s my card. Does anyone owe you money? Do you need to collect money from anyone?
Store guy: Why?
–Import/export store, 29th & 6th
Teen girl #1: What a boring summer.
Teen girl #2: Suzy had an abortion.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, she said it was no big deal. They just scooped it out of her.
–Bloomingdale’s, Broadway & Broome
Overheard by: adam
Shopgirl #1: So school starts again soon?
Shopgirl #2: Yeah. School starts soon. But it’s not anything interesting, like math. It’s like, all history and sociology and ethnics. Ethics.
–American Apparel, E. Houston Street
Overheard by: isti
Fashionista #1: Oh my God. I am so tired!
Fashionista #2: Me too. Let’s make this quick because I totally want to go home like right now.
Fashionista #1: Okay. You know, I think the key to a successful shopping trip is spending only a couple of hours at each store.
Fashionista #2: Definitely. Anything more just makes my blood sugar get too low, you know?
–Macy’s fitting rooms, West 34th Street
Overheard by: Lindsay
