Guy: So I went to the dollar store, looking for some art for my apartment. You wouldn’t believe how bad some of it was.
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Guy: So I went to the dollar store, looking for some art for my apartment. You wouldn’t believe how bad some of it was.
–Suzie’s, Bleecker Street
Woman: Why are there always those hippie wierdos at Union Square Park?
Man: Oh, you mean the ones that play hacky sack all day?
Woman: Yeah, those people.
Man: And those people who sell their artwork on the sidewalk…
Woman: Yeah, exactly! You see them all over Union Square.
Man: Well, it’s clear where they come from.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Jennifer Cee
Man with briefcase: Is the boss in?
Store guy: No. He’s in back. What do you want? Why?
Man with briefcase: Because I can help you. You need me. Does anyone owe you money?
Store guy: What?
Man with briefcase: Do you have any non-paying accounts? Has anyone been skipping payments?
Store guy: Why?
Man with briefcase: Because I run a collection service. Here’s my card. Does anyone owe you money? Do you need to collect money from anyone?
Store guy: Why?
–Import/export store, 29th & 6th
Teen girl #1: What a boring summer.
Teen girl #2: Suzy had an abortion.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, she said it was no big deal. They just scooped it out of her.
–Bloomingdale’s, Broadway & Broome
Overheard by: adam
Shopgirl #1: So school starts again soon?
Shopgirl #2: Yeah. School starts soon. But it’s not anything interesting, like math. It’s like, all history and sociology and ethnics. Ethics.
–American Apparel, E. Houston Street
Overheard by: isti
Fashionista #1: Oh my God. I am so tired!
Fashionista #2: Me too. Let’s make this quick because I totally want to go home like right now.
Fashionista #1: Okay. You know, I think the key to a successful shopping trip is spending only a couple of hours at each store.
Fashionista #2: Definitely. Anything more just makes my blood sugar get too low, you know?
–Macy’s fitting rooms, West 34th Street
Overheard by: Lindsay
Black lady: He has a degree in computer science, just like his mama. He’s teaching at some school for the mentally retarded. Can you believe that? Teaching computer science to retards: who would do that?
–J. Crew dressing room, Prince Street
Guy: Excuse me, do you have any poppy seed bagels?
Bakery lady: What the hell is a popsicle bagel?
–C-town, 135th & Broadway
Swedish chick #1: So don’t Chinese people eat, like, cats and dogs?
Chinese manicurist: Ah, no. Ah, yes, but just little bit.
Swedish chick #2: That’s okay. In Sweden we eat fish that has been sitting in salt juices for a year.
–Nail salon, 2nd Avenue between St. Mark’s & 7th
Teen girl: This one’s kind of cross-eyed.
Teen guy: They’re porn star action figures. What do you want?
Teen girl: I want them to be just as hot as the real thing…and I want them to be glistening.
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Place
