Chick: When I first got here from Jersey, I thought I’d let it all out, live my own life, but I quickly realized that was a bad idea.
–Blue Ribbon Sushi, Soho
Overheard by: Abby
Law Student: The Nation is too conservative for her.
–Fordham Law
Overheard by: Patrick Smith
B&T chick: What I really liked about this guy is that he could write his name in cocaine. And underline it.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: All I want is for my relatives to die in a certain order.
–University Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Guy on cell: It’s not like I sucked some guy’s dick last…oh wait, I did!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: a.alvarez & c.palmatier
Guy: I’m sorry, I left my foundation at home today.
–The Flame, Clinton
Overheard by: Sandy
JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
Girl: We’re outside now. Now I can entertain you.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: heather
Hobo: Hey Mr. Rockafella, can you help a blackafella?
— 7th Av & W. 11th
Overheard by: Gillian Glasser
Eurochick: I’ve got to dance tonight. I didn’t make any money here this week.
–Soho salon
Woman on cell: Where are you? I’m lost!…I don’t know! I’m uptown. I’m on a corner. I’m in front of a tall building.
–57th & Lex
Overheard by: Heather
Construction worker: …it was like, the biggest skull ever found or
some shit.
–44th & Madison
Teenage girl: I failed the math test so I told Ma I ain’t gonna graduate in June. I ain’t gotta do anything but stay black and die.
–6 train
B&T girl: These bra inserts I’m wearing are hard as rocks!
–Tao Asian Bistro, Midtown
Woman: Well, I trusted you before you put your dick in her.
–Tabla Bread Bar, Flatiron District
A ghetto guy checks out a girl’s ass and says: Damn, yo. I had one like that back in ’88. When I was workin’ in the mailroom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zander
Girl: There is no sperm in the period! Jeez, you’re a moron.
–Lincoln Center
Girl: So then I asked everyone, “Who’s ever had anal?” and then he turned around…
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: Cattle? Who said anything about cattle? Now chickens…they’re fun to molest sometimes.
–Fort Greene
