Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them.
–Houston & Eldridge
Girl: I like dogs!
Guy: Yeah, right.
Girl: Actually I’m violently allergic to them.
–Houston & Eldridge
Care for Kids fundraiser: Excuse me, can I talk to you real quick? I know you’re in a rush but this will only take a second.
Suit: Sorry, I don’t care.
–Maiden Lane & Water Street
Overheard by: Jack C.
Thug: You wanna go for margaritas?
Girl: Nah, that’s all right.
Thug: Moo goo gai pan?
–Rivington Street
Overheard by: siara waseem
Old woman: Did you see this play?
Old man: Yes.
Old woman: Well, do you know who the father of the baby is?
Old man: Well, I know it wasn’t me.
–59th & Park
Black guy: They’re taking over! Where the shit am I supposed to eat?
–Rivington Street
Customer: I’ll have a slice of the eggplant.
Pizza guy: You know that’s organic right?
Customer: That’s fine. How long have you guys been organic?
Pizza guy: Oh, about 2 weeks now. The white girls are loving it.
–Delancey & Essex pizzeria
Overheard by: Brian
Dad (to son, 6): Do you want to go to Cafe Pertutti or Oren’s Daily Roast?
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: RPK
Guy: Where do you live again?
Girl: Right over there.
Guy: Can I walk you home?
Girl: But it’s right over there…
–Orchard Street
Lady: If the doormen went on strike, what would they do?
Guy: They would stand outside their buildings and picket.
Lady: How is that different from their job other then the fact that
they would be holding a sign?
–3rd & A
Punk girl: He doesn’t look Jewish.
Punk boy: He’s not, he’s Catholic… A real pope-fucker.
–Rivington & Ludlow
20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
Chick #1: I just stepped on the nicest man.
Chick #2: You stepped on him?
Chick #1: Yeah, he was really nice about it. He must have massive, massive feet.
–LES
