Tourist Attractions

Girl #1: Sorry I’m late! Brian and I were discussing the logistics of turning my Statue of Liberty figurine into a bong.
Girl #2: It’s always something with you.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Djlindee

JAP: Didn’t it fall down back in the early nineties too?

–Ground Zero

Girl on cell: Like, everything’s orange. It’s so weird.

–The Gates

Sarcastic old man: Oh, excuse me. I’ll move so you can get a picture of this pole. A magnificent work of art!

–The Gates

Man, during intermission of Chicago: Did you see the chorus girl with the long auburn hair?
Woman: Yeah?
Man: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her in porn on the internet.
Woman, annoyed: Well, when we get home maybe you can find out for sure.
Man: I’m not saying she can’t sing!

–Ambassador Theatre, W 49th

Overheard by: Big Larry

Lady taking picture of tourists: Do you want the Statue of Liberty in the background?
Hubby: Uh, that’s the Empire State Building.

–Top of the Rock

American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No. . . that was the English.

–Statue of Liberty crown

Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm . . . The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.

–Vesey St

Flustered woman, about her brood: Have we lost anyone yet?
Husband: Ummm… No.
Flustered woman: Well, who are we going to lose first? Because we haven’t lost anyone yet.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Josh

Headline by: Aeirlys

Runners-Up:
· “Because Abortion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” – Hillary Claire
· “Hobos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” – Krisztina
· “It Looked So Much Easier in Home Alone” – You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Until Fraulein Maria Came Along” – allison
· “Two Roads Diverged in the Woods – I Chose the One My Children Couldn’t Travel” – Drewp

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Toothless bag lady: I don’t know what it is with this town anymore. I guess no one likes blowjobs. I give great blowjobs! Maybe I’m charging too much.
Cop: What are you charging?
Toothless bag lady: $100.
Cop: That’s pretty steep…

–Times Square

Overheard by: Spiney