Girl: What happened to the raisinets?
Guy: I turned them into chocolate pudding and sent them to the ocean.
Girl: Ew. I thought you were supposed to be charming.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: brookie
Girl: What happened to the raisinets?
Guy: I turned them into chocolate pudding and sent them to the ocean.
Girl: Ew. I thought you were supposed to be charming.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: brookie
Girl: If I don’t take a monster shit soon, I’m going to explode.
Guy: You should have a salad.
Girl: Salads don’t make me shit. Coffee and cigarettes make me shit.
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Overheard by: Gorodish
NYU chick: What are these stupid, weird underpants you put on me?
West Indian nurse lady: They’re called diapers. You lost control of yourself when you passed out.
–Beth Israel Emergency Room, 1st Avenue
Tourist husband: Sure smells bad around here.
Tourist wife: It says Dog Run.
Tourist husband: A place where dogs race?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Innocent XXX
Girl: Look, Rocafella Plaza is right there!
Guy: Where? I don’t see shit.
Girl: I hope you can see if you step in it
Guy: Actually I smell shit right now, do you smell that shit?
Girl: Yeah I do, but I bet you can’t see it.
–49th & 5th
Overheard by: Christine Rinaldi
Girl #1: Are you stinking up the room?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I haven’t eaten in like three days. I would love to take a shit right now.
–Flatiron Lounge ladies’ room, W. 19th Street
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
Chick: You know, I don’t believe Victorians shat.
Dude: Neither did they.
Chick: There is no way on Earth that what just came up from my system came up through theirs.
Dude: Surely not with that whole empire they were building.
–Pax Wholesome Foods, Times Square
Little girl: Mommy, I gotta go diarrhea!
Mom: Not all poo-poo is diarrhea, you know.
–Museum of Natural History
Dude #1: Hey, I’ve got some Valium if you want.
Dude #2: Nah, that’s a bad idea right before a show.
Girl: Well, I have some laxatives.
Dude #1: No way, remember what happened last time?
Dude #2: That was a really nice bathroom, though.
–F train
Overheard by: Athena
Girl #1: Oh, I totally loaded my pants.
Girl #2: For reals?
Girl #1: Yeah, you gotta come look at this shit.
Girl #2: Wow, what did you eat?
–Manhattan Mall ladies’ room
