Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Little girl: Mommy, I gotta go diarrhea!
Mom: Not all poo-poo is diarrhea, you know.
–Museum of Natural History
Mom: I don’t know why you brought me here. You know there’s nothing here that I can eat.
Chick: What about the steak, Mom? I thought you like steak?
Mom: Goddamn it! You know I forgot my teeth!
–Ruth’s Chris Steak House, W. 51st Street
Candidate lady: Hi! I’m running for City Council. I like your shirt. What does the C on it stand for?
Preppy girl: It stands for Crunk.
–1st & Houston
Son: What are they handing out?
Mom: They are trying to get people to vote for them.
Son: For Survivor?
–95th & 3rd
Little girl: I thought your mom wore really short skirts and see-through shirts.
Mother: No, that’s your other grandmother.
–F train
Mom: I’d hate to drop dead of a heart attack, but I’d rather it be at Six Flags.
–W train
Mother: Okay, 6th floor. Anyone getting off here? Hello, 6th.
Daughter: Mom, shut up. This is us, it’s the 8th floor.
–Apartment Building, Gold Street & Maiden Lane
Boy, 6: It was magic.
Mom: No, it wasn’t magic; it was a miracle. There is a difference.
–Broadway & Dey
Receptionist lady: What’s your name?
Little boy: Nayan.
Receptionist lady: Can you spell that for me?
Little boy: N-A-Y-A-N.
Receptionist lady: Did your mommy tell you what your name means?
Little Boy: X-ray vision.
–Doctor’s office, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rachel
Father: Oh, you mean hummus. Hamas is a terrorist organization.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
Man on stoop on cell: Son, it sounds like you got yourself an STD.
–Windsor Terrace
Overheard by: LaurenG
Dad: Now don’t go getting lost again. It cost me a lot of money to get you back last time.
–Bronx Zoo
Father: It was because of nuclear proliferation. All the dinosaurs shot nukes at each other.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: JB
Man: The last time a bird pooped on me I met your mother.
–Central Park Zoo
