Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain’t gonna be gay!
–14th St & Ave B
Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain’t gonna be gay!
–14th St & Ave B
Four‐year‐old #1 holding out a gummy snack: Is this a Pygmy Marmoset?
Four‐year‐old #2: That’s a elephant!
Four‐year‐old #2’s mom: It’s an elephant.
Four‐year‐old #1: Ugh. I wanted a Pygmy Marmoset.
–Metro‐North to Grand Central
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz.
–B48 bus
Little girl: Mommy, I don’t want to go to that camp. They worship the devil there.
Mom: Oh, no, that’s just a silly song. Every camp has something silly like that that they do.
Little girl: But Mommy, they sing a song that goes, ‘I love the devil.‘
Mom: When you get there you’ll see it’s just a funny game. All kids like to play little games like that.
–Union Square
Eight‐year‐old girl with babysitter seeing mom on the street: Mommy, why do you smell like alcohol?
Mom: Because it’s Tuesday, sweetie.
–Franklin & Broadway
Overheard by: Carleesto
Drunk hobo, singing: Put a little money in the hat!
Six‐year‐old boy to mom: Don’t hats come with a bunny?
Mom: He asked for money, not a bunny. He’s a panhandler, not a magician.
–Canal St station
Overheard by: Thumper
B&T daughter: Let's move to the front, we still have eight minutes.
B&T mother: Oh my god, are we moving?!
Random guy: Uh, that's the other train that's moving.
--LIRR Train
Little girl, squeezing mom’s breast: Mom, what are these for?
Mom: Shhh…
Little girl: Mom, did I suck on them when I was littler?
Mom: Shhh…
Little girl: You know, Mom, like a cow? [Bends over and pretends to drink.]Mom: Like a cow?
Little girl: Yeah, did I milk you like a cow?
–N train
Waspy girl to gaggle of friends: You know, medium‐rare is, like, totally the new medium. You know what I mean? (friends stare blankly) No, I guess you wouldn’t.
–6 Train
Overheard by: I Like Mine Bleeding
B&T CSR: Pork killed my father.
–80 Pine St
Overheard by: It’s me
Stroller‐pushing mom to friend: I gotta do something about her leg! It looks like freeze‐dried meat.
–DeKalb & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Morning Glory
NYU girl to friend: My hair smells like meat.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: evanescent
Girl to friend: This is my pi system: it’s like a sausage.
–NYU Classroom
Man to can of corned beef: God, you understand me so well.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Murphy
Middle‐aged woman, dressed like a pre‐teen: I’m not really sure how it happened but I think I ended up drunk and half‐naked on the 5th floor of Macy’s.
Teenage daughter: Really?
Middle‐aged woman: Maybe it was the 6th floor. Shoot, and that was gonna be a good story to tell Jeannie.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Nikki
