Girl: Mommy, why does it smell like pee?
Mother: Because it’s the Port Authority!
–Port Authority newsstand
Girl: Mommy, why does it smell like pee?
Mother: Because it’s the Port Authority!
–Port Authority newsstand
Daughter: What’s on your leg?
Mother: It’s cellulite, all women have it. And if you think the women you see in magazines don’t, they do. They just get it covered up in their pictures by a special pen called an airbrush.
Daughter: Will I get cellulite?
Mother: Yes, soon.
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
Mom: Why don’t you like to play with Tommy? He likes to play with you when you get home from school.
Little girl: I’m very busy, you know. At 6:00, I eat dinner. At 7:00, I brush my teeth. At 8:00, I do my homework. At 9:00 I go to bed. I’m sorry, but Tommy will just have to take a number.
–M14 bus
Chick #1: Y’all heard Denelle pregnant?
Chick #2: Damn, I can’t imagine tryin ta have no baby. If I had a baby then I couldn’t hang out wit y’all no more.
Chick #3: Shit, we need to git you a man, then. I’m tired o’ yo broke ass!
–D train
Woman: …he’s been practicing for weeks and weeks and weeks, maybe months. We’re going to stay for an hour, and when we leave–and during the whole show–we have to be very, very quiet. Like a mouse. OK?
Girl: Yes, Eliza.
Woman: What’s my name?
Girl: Eliza.
Woman: And what’s my other name, my special name just for you?…Mommy, OK? My name is Mommy.
–M7 bus
Chick: In my passport photo, I totally look like a suicidal heroin addict.
Mom: Well, at least that probably means you look thin. Aren’t heroin addicts thin?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Djlindee
Mom: I know you would love homeschooling but you would have to be really sick or have a broken leg or something.
Son: Then why won’t you just break my leg?
–Lexington & 63rd
Overheard by: Christopher
Mom #1: Did your husband take any time off when you had your baby?
Mom #2: Well, it was right after Sept. 11th, so his office was closed for 3 or 4 weeks.
Mom #1: Oh, that’s wonderful!
–F train
Little kid: Mama, Mama! Where are all those bunnies we saw last night? Where are those bunnies? We have to find the bunnies again, Mama!
Lady: Aww! Where were the bunnies you saw, Cole?
Mother: Actually Cole, those were rats.
–Fulton Street
Overheard by: Jess Kimball
Mom: If you don’t get up off that bench, I’m gonna kick your ass.
Boy: Can’t kick my ass if I’m sitting on it, can ya?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Mother: Honey! Why are you walking on your knees?
Little girl: Because my feet hurt.
–50th & 8th
