Mom: I know you would love homeschooling but you would have to be really sick or have a broken leg or something.
Son: Then why won’t you just break my leg?
–Lexington & 63rd
Overheard by: Christopher
Mom: I know you would love homeschooling but you would have to be really sick or have a broken leg or something.
Son: Then why won’t you just break my leg?
–Lexington & 63rd
Overheard by: Christopher
Mom #1: Did your husband take any time off when you had your baby?
Mom #2: Well, it was right after Sept. 11th, so his office was closed for 3 or 4 weeks.
Mom #1: Oh, that’s wonderful!
–F train
Little kid: Mama, Mama! Where are all those bunnies we saw last night? Where are those bunnies? We have to find the bunnies again, Mama!
Lady: Aww! Where were the bunnies you saw, Cole?
Mother: Actually Cole, those were rats.
–Fulton Street
Overheard by: Jess Kimball
Mom: If you don’t get up off that bench, I’m gonna kick your ass.
Boy: Can’t kick my ass if I’m sitting on it, can ya?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Mother: Honey! Why are you walking on your knees?
Little girl: Because my feet hurt.
–50th & 8th
Girl: …so I told him to suck his own dick if he thinks he can do it any better.
–G train
Overheard by: Ocera
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, do you have a penis?
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
JHS kid: …so I said, “He’s gonna make you stay after class and he’s gonna pull down your fucking pants and shove his fucking cock up your ass!”
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: Lizzy
Schoolgirl: …then the teacher said “Silence”. Silence is just a fancy word for “Shut the fuck up”.
–Union Square station
Black mom: Spatula, I’ve got two words for you: be-have!
–6th Avenue salon
Boy, 8: Sorry, Dad. I had to stop because my peg-leg got stuck!
–Park Slope
Boy: Mom, can we buy these cookies?
Mom: No honey, we cannot.
Boy: Why? Because they have carbohyboraties in them? Mom, you’re scared of carbohyboraties, aren’t you?
–Gristede’s, UWS
Girl: Look! Cantaloupes! Mom! Look at the cantaloupes!
Mom: No dear, cantaloupes are a fruit. These are antelopes.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Sarah Glazer
Girl #1: He was a little too Spock and not enough Kirk.
Girl #2: What?
–F train
A son is moving a table into the back of the truck.
Mom: Be careful not to bend the legs when you push it in.
Son: That’s what she said.
Mom: What?
–30th and Lex
Overheard by: Tom
Mom: You know something? When I was a little girl, my family was so poor that we couldn’t even afford Christmas presents! We got fruit in our stocking and that was it, and we were lucky if we could get one birthday present–
Son, 6: But we have money!
–10th Street & 6th Avenue
