Teen boy: My puppy is probably going to die soon.
Teen girl: Aw, when?
Teen boy: Probably by next September, he’ll be a corpse.
Teen girl: Wait, why?
Teen boy: He has obsessive-compulsive disorder.
–Central Park
Teen boy: My puppy is probably going to die soon.
Teen girl: Aw, when?
Teen boy: Probably by next September, he’ll be a corpse.
Teen girl: Wait, why?
Teen boy: He has obsessive-compulsive disorder.
–Central Park
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Ticket lady: I’m sorry, no pets allowed.
Woman: But even if the dog is in a bag?
–Central Park
Overheard by: armur
Hobo: I am the king, bow down before me…The president of the United States is a retarded fuck. American people don’t care about life. Why fight for America? Fuck sending a bunch of people over there to kill and be killed. It’s ridiculous. Bush thinks it’s okay. He’s the dictator, he’s the bad man. If I ever get my hands on him, I’m gonna torture his ass. I’ll cut his dick off. I’ll take a pipe from the fireplace and stick it up his ass. I’m the king. I’ll always be the king. I say this…Don’t ever believe America. America is godless. The people are full of shit. Anyone who goes to war for America has got to be out their motherfuckin’ mind.
–Central Park
Overheard by: psd
Girl: Stop flirting with me, my friend just died.
–Central Park SummerStage
Two young girls switch seats while in their stroller.
Daddy dearest: Never do that again!
They shrink in horror. One starts to cry.
Daddy dearest: Now smile for Daddy!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: girl w/ camera
Fratboy #1: Oh God, did you see that? That little Asian boy just fell down and skinned his Chi-knee.
Fratboy #2: Think he was running from Godzilla?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Matt Murdock
Hipster girl: I want him to think I’m clever, not some desperate a-hole.
Hipster guy: Good luck!
–Central Park
Guy: Is that your boyfriend? I saw you guys making out at the bar.
Drunk girl: He’s just a friend. He’s whatever. I’ll probably be making out with you tomorrow.
Guy: That’s great.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Spooner
Sun-bathing girl #1: Uh oh, they’re bringing a dog into a No Dogs Allowed park.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I don’t understand that rule. I think it should be no kids or dogs allowed.
Sun-bathing girl #3: Yeah, I hate kids.
Sun-bathing girl #2: I’d kill a baby for a Birkin bag.
–Central Park
Overheard by: JB
Woman: Bye, see you around!
Parks guy: Bye! Dream of me! You might wake up wet.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Nicole Weber
