Hobo: Got any money, man? I’m hungry.
Guy: Hey, how are you?
Hobo: How am I? How the fuck do you think I am, 50 fuckin’ people walked by and how much do I got? 10 fuckin cents, how the fuck am I. Shit, man. “How the fuck are you?” What kind of question is that? I’m fuckin’ homeless.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Erin H.
Girl, 7: I wish I could go in and play with them. I want to play with the turtles.
Zookeeper woman: They’re not turtles. They’re tortoises.
Girl, 7: Whatever. I want to step on them.
–Central Park Zoo
Bicycle girl: It smells like it’s about to rain.
Bicycle guy: That’s because it is raining.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Dude: Hey, do you feed the polar bears?
Zoo guy: Uh, no.
Dude: Is it true that a polar bear can eat a frozen turkey in one bite?
Zoo guy: Uh, sure.
–outside Central Park Zoo
Father: Oh, you mean hummus. Hamas is a terrorist organization.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
Man on stoop on cell: Son, it sounds like you got yourself an STD.
–Windsor Terrace
Overheard by: LaurenG
Dad: Now don’t go getting lost again. It cost me a lot of money to get you back last time.
–Bronx Zoo
Father: It was because of nuclear proliferation. All the dinosaurs shot nukes at each other.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: JB
Man: The last time a bird pooped on me I met your mother.
–Central Park Zoo
Guy on cell: Where am I? I’m always some place watching some crazy shit. I’m watching some motherfuckin’ Indian shit, son. Some shit from some country. They’re doing a rain dance, son. It’s gonna motherfuckin’ rain soon. They’re doing a motherfuckin’ rain dance, son. They’re dancing and shit.
–St. Mark’s Church
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Woman: Where are all the restaurants?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Kate
Woman on cell: Where am I? I’m at home; I’m just about to go down and get a cab. Where are you?
–Gristede’s, 63rd & West End
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Driving guy: Is this Brooklyn?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Driving guy: Excuse me, which way is Manhattan?
–40th & Broadway
Girl: Excuse me sir, how do you get to Times Square?
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Man on cell: No, no. I’ll never make it. I’m still in Jersey.
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: JDH
Mom: Maybe if you listen to me more you’ll get to see Mr. Snap Crackles…Mommy’s going to call him now.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Chick on cell :…and then the other day, I had a little baby! Yeah!
–116th & Broadway
NY Post guy: It’s been confirmed! He’s dead! Harry Potter is dead! Killed in a magic train bus explosion. Read it here!
–Penn Station
Guy: …and you can’t get birthmarks shaped like WB characters.
–Teany, Rivington St.
Woman on cell: For five years you wouldn’t marry me because your mother was sick. Well, your mother’s fucking dead and you still won’t marry me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Robbie
Goombah: So what? I went and had a couple beers with Junior! You know what? Fuck you, bitch! I want you outta my house when I get home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Man on cell: So what has changed from then to now?…of course! The vibrator! So that’s it, huh?
–Central Park
Overheard by: jeannette
Guy: That’s one of the reasons I had to dump her. I’d see all these
girls on the street and be like, “Hey now!”
–Broadway & Spring
Guy on cell: I moved all the way here and now you won’t even marry me?
–Broadway & 57th
Guy #1: It’s really great that we have Central Park, you know? It makes the city so great in the summer.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. It’s great to be this close to nature.
Girl: Also, the trees must make a lot of oxygen for the city.
Guy #1: That is true.
Guy #2: I bet some of it also comes from Jersey.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lora
Chick #1: I need to buy some coke for the house after this…Coca-Cola.
Chick #2: Oh! You need to clarify these things. I was picturing a big
jar of cocaine in your living room or something.
Chick #1: That would be the hottest thing ever! I keep saying these absurd things hoping someone will put it in Overheard in New York.
–Loews Theater, 86th & Lexington
