STDs

Real Life Public Service Announcements (NYC Style)

Girl #1: Where have you been lately?
Girl #2: I’ve been with Caesar.
Girl #3: Yo, you’ve been skipping school for a week. What the fuck up with that?
Girl #2: Caesar has been treating me nice. Yo, he got a nice dick and we’ve been fucking every day.
Girl #1: Yo, you better be using protection or you going to be having little Caesars running around.
Girl #2: Yo, we do it raw ’cause he says rubbers don’t feel good on his dick.
Girl #3: Shit, bitch, you better watch yourself.
Old lady: Stop! Stop this talk! You should be ashamed of yourself. You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. Look at you! Your friends are ashamed of you! They can’t even look at you! You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. You should be ashamed.

–M4 bus

Who Doesn’t Hate A Lifetime of Sores?

Girl #1: Don’t be fuckin’ with him. That nigga got herpes in his mouth. He gave it to my girl Chelisa.
Girl #2: Del is too fine to have herpes in his mouth. You’re hating.

–A train

Overheard by: joey montana

Bill Clinton’s Ears (and Genitals) Are Burning

Dowager: What we really need to do is to educate these poor people so they don’t have sex. It’s the poor people who keep spreading all the STDs and the AIDS. Do you know any rich people with STDs? I didn’t think so.

–MoMA cafe

Lady #1: I can’t believe she said those things. She was so politically incorrect.
Lady #2: Well what did you expect her to say?
Lady #1: Something humanly correct.

–Shubert Theatre, 44th Street

Happy Shamrock Day!

Woman #1: Oh God, I think I’m getting a horrible yeast infection.
Woman #2: Making bagels down there, huh?
Woman #1: Oh no, I’m not Jewish. I’m making Irish Soda Bread.

–Penn Station

Girl #1: I have nothing green to wear on Thursday.
Girl #2: What do you mean, you don’t own any green? You’re Irish! Green is our color! Along with beer.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: Christa Bramberger

Don’t Be Sore: It’s The Truth

Guy #1: She stuck her lollipop in my mouth! And she has herpes!
Guy #2: She has herpes?
Girl: Well, everyone has herpes…

–Sin Sin, E. 5th Street

Overheard by: Jon Zebraskey

Readers: Answer This Valentine’s Overheard Question

Middle-aged guy on cell: How does an eighty seven year old woman get gonorrhea?

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: sean sullivan

I’m Talking to the Tenant, Not the Apartment

Brunette (looking at her crotch): Helllllllooooooo!?
Blonde: Are you talking to your vagina?
Brunette: No, my chlamydia.
Blonde: I think you’re talking to your vagina.

–Blockheads, 50th & 9th

Overheard by: Shirley

Wednesday One-liners Belong in a Zoo

Girl: Yeah, so, did you hear that the bald eagle isn’t extinct anymore?

–Central Park

Those Poor Crabs Are Now in Detox

Old junkie guy #1: …So the bitch is fucking bitching about wearin’ a condom. She won’t let me bust my nut in her ’til I slap one on. So I do! And the bitch gives me crabs!
Old junkie guy #2: What a ho.

–Bx15 bus

She Really Studies Hard for Those Tests

Coworker #1: It looks like one of your clients is testing positive for gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Coworker #2: Kinky.

–Broadway & Canal

Overheard by: office peon loves her new job

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