Two guys and a girl are walking down a street when a strange man sitting in an office chair rolls toward them.
Chair guy: Ah, this girl got two boyfriends! Mmm…Can a black man join the club? Can…a black man….join the club. Join the club.
–4th & Jane
Overheard by: marissa
Fat White drunk woman: Maybe you got it from someone in our building, or all those transvestites you fucked.
Sobbing Hispanic man: But baby, I didn’t fuck that many, it’s not my fault!
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Woman: My dad actually said, “I don’t want you becoming a hooker. If you need money, ask me.”
Man: You know why he said that, right?
–N train
Dude: Hey, how are you?
Chick: Good!
Dude: Yeah?
Chick: Yeah… I’ve been banging everyone, though.
Dude: Yeah.
–Stairwell, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Fratboy: We went to that bar once cause I heard there were lots of skanks in there. But there were no skanks! It sucked.
–outside Blue & Gold, East Village
Drunk girl: I remember the bouncing, I remember the moaning, I just can’t remember the name.
–Cooper 35, Astor Place
Overheard by: dan
Gay man: I went there to get spiritual, and I came back all ‘Boys, boys, boys.’
–5th Ave & 11th St
Chick on cell: This is one of those moments when polyamory would really come in handy, huh?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl talking to herself: I am not a ho — I took the lie detector test, and it told you I was not a ho so stop calling me that.
–1 train
Overheard by: will
Chick: She had, like, 20 brothers and sisters because her dad was Haitian and he just kept sleeping with people…
–Subway bar, 60th & Lex
Chick: This year I am going to try and not make out with both Samatha and her boyfriend.
–W 53rd between 9th and 10th Ave
Overheard by: Still Laughing
Hispanic woman #1: That old man goes from woman to woman. I mean, if you can get your little wormie to work, why not right?
Hispanic woman #2: I know! He has so many women coming in and out of his apartment. It's like he's 13 again.
–Staten Island Ferry
20-something girl #1, running into friend: Oh hey!! How are you?
20-something girl #2: Doing so well! It's nice to see you…
(they catch up, and five minutes later)
20-something girl #1, changing the subject without warning: Yeah, I know a lot of Johns.
20-something girl #2, shocked: Oh. Hah… damn, girl! It has been a while. What've you been up to that you know a bunch of Johns?
20-something girl #1, after confused pause: Oh… Oh! I mean I know a lot of people named John. I don't… Well… Yeah. I don't do that.
20-something girl #2, laughing: Oh, good! Girl, I was gonna say, “Well, she used to be kind of a slut, but straight-up prostitution is a little out of character.”
20-something girl #1, laughing: I know, right?
–6 Train
Overheard by: …Did you miss that she just called you a slut?
Woman on phone: So, should I continue not being a whore or should I go get an emergency Brazilian?
–Lexington Ave & 58th
Girl to friend: No, I can't do tomorrow afternoon. I am getting waxed for the weekend. Just in case.
–3rd Ave & 80th St
Salesgirl to customer: You so have an exfoliating face!
–Sephora, 57th & Lexington
Overheard by: Amanda
Creepy hobo on payphone: So, you're doing your nails? Mmmmmm…
–Bleecker & Thompson
Overheard by: Thompson
Girl with pounds of makeup on: Yeah, I'm going on lunch right now. I am so exhausted, I did five makeovers today. Yeah, I am so tired…I had a butch.
–Elevator, Macy's
Overheard by: K Melv
Thug: All I want is a mani-pedi.
–72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: wb
Preppy Asian girl #1: Look! The crazy religious people gave me a key chain.
Preppy Asian girl #2: What's it say?
Preppy Asian girl #1: That I'm number one with Jesus.
Preppy Asian girl #2: I don't think Jesus will appreciate the fact that you're a slut.
–N Train
