Queer #1: I think watersports are fun!
Queer #2: Disgusting. I’d never! Oh, please, don’t tell me you’ve ever tried it.
Queer #3: I’m a Jew. What, am I going to deny a guest in my own home?
–Cleo’s, 9th Avenue
Queer #1: I think watersports are fun!
Queer #2: Disgusting. I’d never! Oh, please, don’t tell me you’ve ever tried it.
Queer #3: I’m a Jew. What, am I going to deny a guest in my own home?
–Cleo’s, 9th Avenue
Construction guy #1: Then we gotta fuckin’ knock down that bitch of a fuckin’ wall…in this fuckin’ humidity, can you fuckin’ believe they’re makin’ us do that shit?
Construction guy #2: I know. That fuckin’ shit is fuckin bullshit. We should fuckin’ kill the fuckin’ captain and shit, makin’ us take down a fuckin’ wall that we fuckin’ put up in the–
Construction guy #1: Ooh! Italian ices!
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: Peter Shankman
Teen girl: Wow, that’s so sad…
Woman: Yeah, they have no electricity, no water to drink, no food to eat, nothing.
Teen girl: Well, can’t they just boil the water on the ground and drink it? They say the city is flooded with like six feet of water.
Woman: No, honey, that water is way too contaminated to be boiled, and besides that, they don’t have electricity.
Teen girl: Oh that’s so sad. Where is that?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Holly Percey
Woman: So, what is it you like about New Orleans?
–Becco, W. 46th Street
Chick: Apparently there will be another September 11th this month.
–65th & Lexington
Girl: Looks like you got a tan this weekend.
Guy: Yeah, I was out on my friend’s boat but we ran out of gas in the harbor so we were out on the water for a while.
Girl: You know, that was one thing I kept thinking about all weekend, how inflated the price of marine diesel fuel must be.
Guy: It wasn’t my boat so I really don’t know.
They get off the elevator.
Human being: You know, the one thing I kept thinking about all weekend was all the fucking dead people.
–Elevator, Madison & 49th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Food cart man: Would like some chicken, miss?
Random crazy lady: Yes, I’ll have some Gatorade.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Kathy I.
College girl: Excuse me, sir. Which way is the river?
Man: There’s two.
He walks away.
–Columbus Circle
Girl #1: I just got the best internship ever! I’m so excited.
Girl #2: That’s great! Where is it?
Girl #1: I’ll be working at the Momma Museum; I’ve always wanted to work there.
Girl #2: What’s the Momma Museum?
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: lauren s.
Suit #1: I screwed one of the new piece of ass last night.
Suit #2: You mean the li’l one, the new one?
Suit #1: Yeah, Jen, the new girl on 15.
Suit #2: Dude, I just smashed her the other day at lunch! Are you fucking kidding me?
Suit #1: You’re clean, right?…’cause I’m going back for seconds.
–75th & Lexington
FishBowlNY chick: Not only do you blog about everything, you blog in five different blogs about everything.
–Slainte, The Bowery
Hipster guy: Everyone keeps asking me why I’m sad, and I’m like, “I’m not sad, I’m from New York.”
–St. Mark’s between 1st & A
Overheard by: Danny G.
Woman: I have some friends, and they lived in Brooklyn all they lives, and they ain’t ever been to Kings Plaza Shopping Mall. They so limited!
–5 train
Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the big apple is?
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: katie cunningham
Woman: What I love most about New York is that wherever you go, in every neighborhood, there’s garbage on the curb. To me, that’s democracy.
–University & 11th
Lady: You never see girls wearing shorts in New York City unless they’re tourists.
–57th & Broadway
Guy on cell: Well I’m sorry, Princess, if New York doesn’t smell like a bed of roses!
–Church & Worth
Overheard by: Becka Dash
NY Post guy: This boat is bootlegged! It won’t turn left!
–Penn Station
NY Post guy: Read all about it! Discovery shuttle is a bootleg…doesn’t work…can’t turn left. Read all about it!
–Penn Station
Overheard (correctly) by: Toon
Tourist mom: First the Muppets took Manhattan, now us!
–Marriott Marquis, Times Square
Overheard by: G. Star
Tourist lady: What floor are the Renaissance paintings on?
–MoMA
Guy: …it’s the same as terrorism. If we’re against terrorism, then we’re against tourism.
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: B. Howard
Tourist guy: I’ll have two of your ordinary coffees for purchase.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Penn Station
Overheard by: devila
Aussie woman: Excuse me…Can you tell me how to get to Greenwich Village?
–5th Avenue & 8th Street
Tourist lady: …and then we went to that big church. You know, the big one? St. Peter’s. The one the Kennedys went to. It’s on 5th street. It’s, like, the largest church in the world or something.
–Central Park East
Tourist guy: Oh, we definitely saw all the important things in the city today. I think the best was F.O.A. Schwartz though.
–Mulberry Street
Overheard by: Bernie Mc
Tourist guy: Hey, is that Central Park?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Chris Ghirardi
Tourist chick: Hey, is that Central Park?
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: Beks
Tourist boy: Mom! We’re almost at double-u twenty-four street!
–M20 bus
Girl on cell: Let’s wear matching polo shirts and film each other eating with handheld digital cameras! Oh sorry, I’m in Times Square, and I was beginning to think that kind of behavior was normal.
–Times Square
Teen tourist boy: This ain’t no Chinatown. Shit.
–Broadway & Broome
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Construction guy #1: Hey, pretty boy! Whatcha got under that skirt?
Guy in skirt: Your girlfriend’s fantasy.
Construction guy #2: Oh, shit. He got you there, dude.
–Broadway & 39th
