Power suit woman on cell: No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you listening to me? I said no! Absolutely not…Why are we arguing about this? Are you listening to me? No. No. You never listen to me. You never listen…Fine. Fine. Do whatever you have to do. But let me tell you this: if you ever thought that I loved you, you have been kidding yourself for a long time!
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: joe jervis
Man on pay phone: Maria! I just got out of the doctor’s office. They told me I have herpes and I got them from you!
–34th Street station
Overheard by: Cristalle Stutrud
Woman: You wiped your nose with a tissue, held a tissue in the same hand, and then put your hands all over my papers. What’d you think I was going to do?
–Penn Station
Player: Yo, baby. New York’s a scary place. How about you hold my hand going down the street and make us both feel better?
–34th & 7th
Fat dude on cell: Girl, take that fucking dildo out of your pussy and talk to me!
–4th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Andrea Quijano
Fratboy: Zack is cool, until he starts grabbing my ass.
–Bensonhurst
Crazy man: You know what your problem is? You’re not drinking enough milk…from a penis!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Victor Preuninger
Dad: …you’ve got to use your middle finger.
Son: Which one’s the middle finger?
Dad: This one.
Son: Why’s it called the middle finger?
Dad: Because it’s in the middle of your hand, I guess. There’s two fingers on either side.
Son: That’s retarded.
Dad: It may sound retarded, but that’s the way it is.
–Astoria corner store
Unkempt facial hair guy: What kinds of clubs are you going to these days?
Bald guy with glasses: Oh, you know, ones where they wear body glitter and talk bullshit.
–3rd Avenue & 9th Street
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Puerto Rican kid #1: You shut the fuck up, motherfucker!
Puerto Rican kid #2: Come say that to my face! I’ll brush yo’ teeth with my pee pee!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Yamin Reshamwala
Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson
Woman: Can I get 2 pretzels to go?
Cart guy: To go? As opposed to what, eat in?
–Food cart, 52nd & 5th
Overheard by: Evan
Little girl: Do I have to shave all over my body when I grow up? Where will I have to shave most? Where don’t I have to shave? Tell me, you’re old, you should know.
–New York Hall of Science, Flushing
Overheard by: Ting
NYU Chick: 2G? Does that mean it’s on the ground floor?
–11th between Broadway and University
Woman: Would it help to keep a couple dead deer lying around to scare the other ones away?
–Union Square Greenmarket
Guy #1: I think that van has more floor space than our apartment.
Guy #2: My life is going nowhere. Line up, ladies!
–Lexington & 66th
Asian guy: But it’s the 21st century!
White guy: That’s true, but there’s always a place for racism.
–13th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: E. Jung
A preppy boy whistles and waves at a cab. The cab ignores him, and as it passes the boy yells: What’s your problem, am I Black or something?
–Park & 55th
