Girl on cell: I’ll get a celebrity to pay for my trip. Yah, like Oprah. You know, like on TV Oprah? I’m going to stop slavery. There are 7 million slaves in the world and I’m going to stop all of it…If I want to stop slavery, then I will! I can do anything I want to do!
–W train
Overheard by: SS
Queer #1: I think after a year torture is really a “lifestyle”.
Queer #2: Yeah, right.
–Houston & Sullivan
Overheard by: Scottie
Woman: Can I get 2 pretzels to go?
Cart guy: To go? As opposed to what, eat in?
–Food cart, 52nd & 5th
Overheard by: Evan
Barista: “Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.”
Guy: Excuse me?
Barista: I was reading the tea bag tag.
Guy: You read a lot of tea bags?
Barista: Sometimes they have something important to say.
–51st St. deli
Smart teen girl: How come when people lose something they say, “I found it in the last place I looked.”? I mean, of course once they find it they’re gonna stop looking for it.
–LaGuardia baggage claim
Guy #1: I have a moral dilemma.
Guy #2: Does it involve alcohol?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: Does it require alcohol?
–F Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl on cell: It would be like if you made a robot with the sole purpose of killing someone you didn’t like. It wouldn’t be the robot’s fault that it killed the person, it would be your fault, because you built the robot. Unless, of course, somehow the robot had a mind of its own.
–63rd & Lex
Overheard by: Zglass
20-Something woman #1: Wow, classical music makes me think the world’s all happy and shit.
20-Something woman #2: Yeah.
20-Something woman #1: I need a nice, trashy rap song about hos and shooting to remind myself that life sucks.
20-Something woman #2: Seriously.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: slit your wrists while you’re at it
Guy: I can so. I can do anything I want.
Girl: Well, you can’t control destiny! All you can do in life is choose a direction and do your best when you’re fucked!
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Khalim
Litte girl: Why do they always do that?
Mother: Because they don’t think outside the box.
Little girl, after a pause: What does the box look like?
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo
