Queer #1: Honey, can you imagine if you had two holes?
Queer #2: Hmm.
Queer #1: Could you fart in stereo? Do you shit out of both holes? If you are going to get fucked and you did a Fleet in one hole, but not the other, do you tell the guy which hole is clean? And suppose you forget which one and he strikes oil?
–The Dish, 8th Ave. & 21st St.
Queer: My sister is so concerned about her son playing with dolls because it will turn him gay. I’m like, “It’s not because I was playing with dolls that I was gay, it was that I looked at a guy and got a hardon!”.
–Japonica, University Place
Overheard by: Rick T
Fashionista: …he was amazing! It’s so rare to find a man familiar with Dr. Hauschka’s.
Queer: You’re in Chelsea, hon.
–18th St. bet. 7th & 8th
Overheard by: alicia
Patron: They know what I am: drunk, gay, and in search of food!…This tastes like cock!
He was later escorted out of the restaurant with his friends.
–Dawat, E. 58th St.
Overheard by: MissHell
Queer: Thursday nights are the best nights if you like NYU Guys!
–11th St. & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Rachel W
Queer #1: …so essentially if I didn’t get accepted to NYU for law I would have become a magician.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah. I have the hat and scarves and everything.
–Dojo, Greenwich Village
Guy on cell: It’s not like I sucked some guy’s dick last…oh wait, I did!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: a.alvarez & c.palmatier
Guy: I’m sorry, I left my foundation at home today.
–The Flame, Clinton
Overheard by: Sandy
Girl #1: So you mean he’s gay?!
Girl #2: Yeah, he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay!
Girl #3: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…
Girl #4: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…
Girl #2: He’s gay, he’s gay!
–81st St. B/C station
Overheard by: Tommy Wooh
Guy: But you have to promise, promise, promise, promise you won’t tell anyone.
Girl: I promise.
Guy: Yeah, but promise promise promise?
Girl: I promise promise!
Guy: All right. [Sam]’s gay.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Heather
Girl: Let’s get one thing straight…
Guy: I’m not.
Girl: Wait, what?…oh my fucking lord, everyone is fucking gay now! I’ll see you in hell.
–Soho
Older Hispanic gay man to guy in Subway sandwich costume: Uh sandwich, be careful someone doesn't eat you, darling.
Passers-by: (laugh)
Older Hispanic gay man: Whaaat? That's what you do to a saaandwich.
–9th & 2nd
Overheard by: eat me
Queer: I hate that I missed your birthday.
Artsy girl: Brad, you were at my 21st birthday party. You gave me that paint-it-yourself Menorah.
Queer (laughing): Oh yeah… Did you ever paint it? Do you still have it?
Artsy girl: Actually, it broke. Lee gave me these thongs as a present, and they somehow got all tangled up and it fell…
Queer: Wait… Are you telling me my Menorah died by thong?
–M Train
Overheard by: Not such a bad way to go
