Girl: We should totally start pretending to go out and make out in public, and then everyone will be like, “But I thought Mark was gay?”. And they’ll all be so confused.
Mark: Okay, I’m down, but you’re gonna have to get me like 6 shots of Jagermeister before we start.
Girl: Why do you need to be drunk? I’m pretty!
–116th Street 1 station
Guy: Whenever I tell anyone I’m from San Francisco, they always ask
me if I’m gay. Yes, I’m gay, and my mom is gay, and my dad is gay too!
Girl: I’m from San Francisco as well.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Queer #1: He told me he had an 8 inch penis.
Queer #2: Oh really?
Queer #1: It was only 8 inches if he put it in twice.
–L train
Overheard by: Marcus and Nate
Queer #1: We are going to the Kelly Clarkson concert in two weeks, you should come.
Queer #2: I have to go home that weekend. They are having a memorial for my grandpa who died. Maybe I can get out of it.
Queer #1: Seriously. I mean people die all the time, but Kelly Clarkson only comes to New York like twice a year.
–Splash, W. 17th Street
Queer #1: I like being a corporate lawyer. Being “The Man” is awesome.
Queer #2: Because you’re not “the man” in the bedroom.
–Therapy, W. 52nd Street
Queer: When did this song come out?
DJ: I was in diapers.
Queer: That’s hot!
DJ: You think?
Queer: I won’t date guys in their thirties anymore. They’re so conservative.
DJ: Uh-huh.
Queer: I wanna be your daddy!
DJ: Put it on paper.
–Barrage, W. 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Woman: Guess what? I just saw one of the Golden Girls on my way
here.
Hairqueer: Oh really? Which one?
Woman: I don’t know. She was the flirty one on the show. I guess
she was the prettiest one…
Hairqueer: Oh, Rue McClanahan! I’ve done her hair.
–Hair Salon, 47th & Lexington
Guy #1: Tell me something exciting. I need to live vicariously. All I do is work.
Guy #2: In Paris, a criminal on rollerblades sucked my dick.
–Houston between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: kevin redman
Queer #1: That guy is hot.
Queer #2: Did you notice he was only drinking water?
Queer #1: Yeah, that’s definitely a turnoff.
Queer #2: Well, maybe he’s taking drugs.
Queer #1: I hope so, I hate clean and sober.
–Phoenix, E. 13th Street
