Queer guys

Queer #1: …so essentially if I didn’t get accepted to NYU for law I would have become a magician.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah. I have the hat and scarves and everything.

–Dojo, Greenwich Village

Guy on cell: It’s not like I sucked some guy’s dick last…oh wait, I did!

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: a.alvarez & c.palmatier

Guy: I’m sorry, I left my foundation at home today.

–The Flame, Clinton

Overheard by: Sandy

Girl #1: So you mean he’s gay?!
Girl #2: Yeah, he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay, he’s gay!
Girl #3: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…
Girl #4: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god…
Girl #2: He’s gay, he’s gay!

–81st St. B/C station

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Guy: But you have to promise, promise, promise, promise you won’t tell anyone.
Girl: I promise.
Guy: Yeah, but promise promise promise?
Girl: I promise promise!
Guy: All right. [Sam]’s gay.

–57th & 6th

Overheard by: Heather

Girl: Let’s get one thing straight…
Guy: I’m not.
Girl: Wait, what?…oh my fucking lord, everyone is fucking gay now! I’ll see you in hell.


Older Hispanic gay man to guy in Subway sandwich costume: Uh sandwich, be careful someone doesn't eat you, darling.
Passers-by: (laugh)
Older Hispanic gay man: Whaaat? That's what you do to a saaandwich.

–9th & 2nd

Overheard by: eat me

Queer: I hate that I missed your birthday.
Artsy girl: Brad, you were at my 21st birthday party. You gave me that paint-it-yourself Menorah.
Queer (laughing): Oh yeah… Did you ever paint it? Do you still have it?
Artsy girl: Actually, it broke. Lee gave me these thongs as a present, and they somehow got all tangled up and it fell…
Queer: Wait… Are you telling me my Menorah died by thong?

–M Train

Overheard by: Not such a bad way to go

Gay man in hipster glasses, sticking ass out: Papi! It hurts! Open it up and see what's wrong!
Blonde white girl, whining: But what does that meeeeeeannnnn?

–Bleecker & Perry

Deaf Malay guy: My friends and I are thinking of making a movie called ‘Hitler is Right.’
Deaf gay guy: What was he right about?
Deaf Malay guy: About the Jews. If he had finished what he started, there would be no more Jews and the world would be better.
Deaf gay guy: And we wouldn’t exist either.
Deaf Malay guy: Why not?
Deaf gay guy: Because he also killed non-Aryans, homos, and deaf people.
Deaf Malay guy: Really?
Deaf gay guy: Yes.
Deaf Malay guy: Oh. Well, I still think Hitler was right.

–Starbucks, Times Square

Bus driver, to guy entering bus: Sorry, ladies only.

–45th & 5th

Overheard by: Jobee

Tranny: Girl, you gotta keep that penis.


Chick on cell: I like the idea of having a penis.


Overheard by: hott bi luvr

Woman: Unless they’re gay, in which case you should just pretend I said men instead of girls. But it’s all still true.

–47th & 8th

Man on cell: Everyone is asking me if I’m a lesbian this week. What is that about?

–Christopher & Bedford

Overheard by: staso

Woman to co-worker: So he has all girls as daughters.

–225 Broadway, 4th floor

Overheard by: Jennifer

Queer: God, I either need to fuck a boy or a trannie tonight!

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: liza

Queer #1: Oh, jeez, I hooked up with that guy. Don’t look.
Queer #2: Who, the guy who just walked on? Call him over. What’s his name?
Queer #1: What am I, psychic?

–N train, Ditmars Blvd

Overheard by: ant

Guy: If Hitler were still alive and he were gay you would have thought he’d decorated that apartment. It was a soulless aesthetic abomination.

–Madison between 60th & 61st

Overheard by: daisy anna freund