Not Quite Absolutely Fabulous

Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: jennifer

Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.

–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?

–Garden Cafe, Inwood

Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.

–Central Park

Posted on May 21, 2026
Buildings, Central Park, Fag Hags, Fashion, Gays and Lesbians, Manhattan, Parks, People, Places, Queer guys, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues, Washington Heights and Inwood, Words

The Bosom Buddies Movie Looks Really Dumb

Yuppie guy #1: I’ll have a strawberry margarita. As fruity as possible. I just cover it up with a wife and kids.
Yuppie guy #2: Hey, I’m married, and I’m still not comfortable with my sexuality.
Yuppie guy #1: Really?

–79th Street Boat Basin

Overheard by: Andrea Natalie Goldstein

Posted on February 16, 2026
Drinking & Drunk People, Families, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Manhattan, People, Places, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues, Yuppies

Kids Say the Most Ominous Things

Receptionist lady: What’s your name?
Little boy: Nayan.
Receptionist lady: Can you spell that for me?
Little boy: N-A-Y-A-N.
Receptionist lady: Did your mommy tell you what your name means?
Little Boy: X-ray vision.

–Doctor’s office, Park Slope

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on February 3, 2026
Brooklyn, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Names, Office, Parents, Park Slope, People, Places, Should've Used a Condom, Topics, Venues

She’s Going to Do It-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named

Little girl: But I’m not on line for Harry Potter; I want to go to the bathroom!

–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place

Posted on October 11, 2025
Arts & Letters, Books & Writing, Kids, Manhattan, People, Places, Pop Culture, Store, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

The Flaming Idiocy Surely Contributed

Woman: You know, on 9/11 I was the only person in lower Manhattan who wasn’t coughing and tearing up. My husband, he had a handkerchief over his mouth and all the visine and shit and I was like, “Bring it on! This tastes good!” You know why? ‘Cause I’m a smoker.

–MSG elevator

Posted on September 22, 2025
Health and Hygiene, Idiots, Madison Square Garden, People, Places, Smokers & Smoking, Terrorism, Topics, Venues

And By “Tractor” He Means…”Grandma”

Man #1: So what are you going to do this weekend?
Man #2: I thought we could go to my farm and you could ride my tractor.
Man #1: Oh yeah, that sounds great.

–Midtown elevator

Overheard by: Max Seddon

Posted on September 10, 2025
Animals & Nature, Cars and Driving, Elevators, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Topics, Venues

Eat, Drink, Wednesday One-liners

British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.

–27th Street office

Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau

Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.

–82nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: JY

Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.

–McDonald’s, 47th Street

Overheard by: Christa Bramberger

As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: tee sul

Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.

–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street

Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Cynthia

Posted on May 8, 2025
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Favorites, Food, Foreigners, Glad the Condom Broke, Hair, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, Only in New York, Penn Station, People, Places, Pop Culture, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues, Washington Heights and Inwood, Williamsburg, Women, Yuppies

Wednesday One-liners

Lady: Girl, or all the hairs growin’ out of my face, I’d take your wart in a second.

–Bally Sports Club, Madison & 43rd

Overheard by: Heather Hunter

Trendy boy: God, I feel so bad farting next to all these really expensive cars.

–Jacob Javits Center

Overheard by: Lindsay

Dude on cell: …so I got into this fight last night and totally whaled on the dude…totally kicked his ass! His nose was bleeding and everything!….OK, I’ll see ya later. Peace.

–Coffee Shop, Union Square West