Ghetto HS girl: Oh please! You thought you was lookin’ all fly, comin’ out wit yo five dolla t-shirt, do-rag and boots. Tryin’ ta holla at a girl. Sorry nigga, you ain’t the one.
Ghetto HS boy: I’m sorry for ya, ma. Thinkin’ I was tryin’ to get wit you. Head gettin’ all big…when you all busted. Playin’ mix tapes on ya face.
–R train
Overheard by: Cinnamaniac
Girl #1: I’m tired of these ghetto dudes out here.
Girl #2: I know das right.
Girl #1: Das why I need a nigga in a business suit. I’m tired of
these ghetto dudes out here with they pants hangin’ off they butt, comin’ home 3 in the mornin’ talkin’ ’bout, “Boo, make me a peanut butter and jelly sanwich.” If I had a nigga in a business suit, he’ll get a project girl like me out da hood and make me a 3 course meal!
–3 train
Girl #1: Do you want a sandwich?
Girl #2: Making a sandwich on the subway is so ghetto!
Girl #1: Shit girl, we are ghetto.
–A train
Hip-hop chick #1: Yo, I been good, I ain’t smoked weed for like three days.
Hip-hop chick #2: What? You told me you smoked up last night.
Hip-hop chick #1: No, girl, I just took one little puff. Taking one little puff don’t mean I smoked. That’s like taking a lick of a dick and saying you sucked it.
–33rd & Broadway
Chick: I’m afraid of birds, so I go to the bird store next door to sort of get over it, you know? So I was down there today and there was this lady there who owns one of the birds, and she was saying how it bit her in the lip, and she lost feeling in her finger. That makes me think…they really are evil!
–Office, E. 33rd Street
Man on cell: Hello. Yes, this is the squirrel from the park. Please
come back to the park, I’m not in the park but I’ll be there soon.
–23rd & 6th
College girl: I always associate double-parking with shrimp.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Andrea Natalie Goldstein
Hispanic girl: Yo, butterflies is scary!
–B train
College girl: Yeah, my mom was watching this commercial about kitty litter where there was this cat who said, “Yeah, and then they go and do the thing…” Wait. I mean, that’s not what the cat said. I’m just paraphrasing.
–Starbucks, 67th & Columbus
Chick: …so she was sleeping with the animals.
Guy: She was sleeping with the animals?
Chick: ’cause she wasn’t really part of the circus.
–Washington Square SW
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
Black girl #1: Do you know what RSVP stands for?
Black girl #2: Respond as soon as possible?
Black girl #1: No, stupid it’s r.s.v.p.. It stands for repond s’il vous plait, it’s French.
Black girl #2: Spell it!
Black girl #1: R-e-s-p-o-n-d c-i v-u p-l-a-y. Don’t you know anything.
–4 train
Girl #1: Where have you been lately?
Girl #2: I’ve been with Caesar.
Girl #3: Yo, you’ve been skipping school for a week. What the fuck up with that?
Girl #2: Caesar has been treating me nice. Yo, he got a nice dick and we’ve been fucking every day.
Girl #1: Yo, you better be using protection or you going to be having little Caesars running around.
Girl #2: Yo, we do it raw ’cause he says rubbers don’t feel good on his dick.
Girl #3: Shit, bitch, you better watch yourself.
Old lady: Stop! Stop this talk! You should be ashamed of yourself. You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. Look at you! Your friends are ashamed of you! They can’t even look at you! You must go to the clinic and get yourself checked out. You should be ashamed.
–M4 bus
Mom: Why don’t you like to play with Tommy? He likes to play with you when you get home from school.
Little girl: I’m very busy, you know. At 6:00, I eat dinner. At 7:00, I brush my teeth. At 8:00, I do my homework. At 9:00 I go to bed. I’m sorry, but Tommy will just have to take a number.
–M14 bus
Chick #1: Y’all heard Denelle pregnant?
Chick #2: Damn, I can’t imagine tryin ta have no baby. If I had a baby then I couldn’t hang out wit y’all no more.
Chick #3: Shit, we need to git you a man, then. I’m tired o’ yo broke ass!
–D train
