Guy on cell: Yeah I know her, my sister went out with her when she was still a man.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Barry Divola
Guy on cell: Yeah I know her, my sister went out with her when she was still a man.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Barry Divola
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m the embodiment of crack right now. I’m still drunk from last night. And wow, I just got a bad look from two Mexicans and we know that never happens. Oh my god, another bad Mexican look. What the fuck is happening? Oh my god, a cat…Shut up, oh my god, the world is conspiring against me. As soon as I said “cat” a kid came around the corner. What’s next, a demon? Cats, kids, demons.
–12th & A
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Woman on pay phone: They can’t arrest him because he didn’t even expose himself.
–Worth & Centre
Overheard by: Daniel Krieger
Yuppie guy on cell: I have to master these machines. You ever use the ones where you put the detergent in the top before?
–79th between Columbus & Broadway
Suit on cell: Hello Dick, this is Woody.
–Four Seasons, E. 57th Street
Woman on cell: Little did I know you can’t keep charging if you never pay the bill.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Maggie and David
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m wearing ahhh…a football jersey and Speedos.
–Houston & Allen
Overheard by: M!J
Queer on cell: Wear tights…No, you don’t pad it! You just push it up so it looks like a big baked potato, like what dancers do. Just hike it up to the sky!…The bits and the pieces. It’s not very comfortable, but it gives a good visual effect of…mass…What? Pointy? Ew, no! Pointy’s bad! Yich, pointy is such a turnoff.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michele
I’m in a bus stuck in traffic. I look out the window down at this woman driving alone in her car. She’s talking on her cell phone. After watching her continue to talk for 15 seconds or so, I see her suddenly put the cell between her ear and shoulder, release the steering wheel and use both hands to give the “in quotes” gesture. I’m sure this helped alleviate any possible misinterpretation of what she was saying to the person on the other end of the phone.
–Lincoln Tunnel
