Girl on cell: Oh no! I dropped a bunch of papers that I don’t need!
–Pace University elevator
Overheard by: shawn mac
Conductor: The next stop will be…Hell, I don’t even know what it is!
–B train
Overheard by: Miss Babette
Guy: You know, when I was doing those breathing exercises, I realized: I don’t think I’ve been able to breathe out of my left nostril since 1995.
–General Store, DUMBO
Overheard by: Beth
Woman on cell: I liked it, but I didn’t understand some things. Like, when you learned she was a whore. Where would you learn that? In the conversation with your mother? Why would she tell you something like that?…Oh, yeah. Now I understand. No, I liked it a lot.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Slave2theMan
Man on phone: Listen, I know I’m like the 500th person to tell you this, but you’ve got a problem…No, I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic! You just drink too much!
–NYSC, 7th Ave & 10th St
Man on cell: I would fucking marry the girl, if it wasn’t for every time I went down on her she tasted like hummus.
–3rd Ave. & 11th St.
Guy on cell: I’m at Avenue of the Americas and…Little Brazil Street.
–W. 46th Street & 6th Avenue
A woman in a stupid fleece hat says to her friends, also in stupid fleece hats: This is my backyard when I’m not at the house!
–Central Park, 5th & 59th
Overheard by: Kat Martinez
Man on cell: I didn’t know it was your baby crying! I thought you were watching some animal show. I wouldn’t have made the comment about the hyena if I knew it was your baby!…Well, yeah, I probably would have…hey, whatever happened to you and ugly-ass Omar?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Krista Gundersen
Chick on cell: You know Karen, she’s my best friend…well, not my best friend, my Taiwanese best friend…
–Lorimer Street, Williamsburg
JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
Girl on phone: I forget what the BD stands for, but I’m pretty sure the SM stand for sado-masochism. My ad was in the platonic section, anyway.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Alaska
Woman on cell: Oh baby, I was having a sex dream about you and in it you bit my neck so hard I woke up all sweaty….wait, hold on, my boyfriend is on the other line.
–7 train
Overheard by: Sassy_Girl
