Lady: I’m lactose intolerant!
Waitress: Then why are you putting butter on your bread?
Lady: I didn’t know butter was dairy! I thought it came from eggs!
–Veselka, E 9th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Katznik
Lady: I’m lactose intolerant!
Waitress: Then why are you putting butter on your bread?
Lady: I didn’t know butter was dairy! I thought it came from eggs!
–Veselka, E 9th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Katznik
Person #1: Sorry I farted.
Person #2: Oh, I love your farts.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Girl #1: I think they should make a sequel to Death of a Salesman.
Girl #2: Are you retarded?
–21st & 3rd
Overheard by: Caitlyn Howell
Girl: Yeah, so, did you hear that the bald eagle isn’t extinct anymore?
–Central Park
Man: … And this made you think you were narcoleptic?
Woman: Yeah, but it turns out I’m just pregnant.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: George Bush
Girl on cell: Seriously George, I gained twenty pounds while I was in LA, and now every black guy in the city can’t stop talking to me about my ass!
Guy slowly driving by and waving out window: Oooh girl, you so fiiiine…you gorgeous.
Girl on cell: Jesus Christ! There’s another one! I’ve gotta call you back, I’m going to the gym.
–Broadway & Bleeker
Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.
–Trader Joe’s
Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!
–Lobby, the Met
Overheard by: Shayna
Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!
–W 4th & Christopher St
Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..
Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?
–St. Mark’s Pl
Fratboy: We went to that bar once cause I heard there were lots of skanks in there. But there were no skanks! It sucked.
–outside Blue & Gold, East Village
Mom: Don’t think of it as losing a friend…but as gaining a holiday destination.
–A train
Overheard by: Clacky
Little girl: Mommy, I don’t want to go to that camp. They worship the devil there.
Mom: Oh, no, that’s just a silly song. Every camp has something silly like that that they do.
Little girl: But Mommy, they sing a song that goes, ‘I love the devil.‘
Mom: When you get there you’ll see it’s just a funny game. All kids like to play little games like that.
–Union Square
