Teens

Teen boy: My puppy is probably going to die soon.
Teen girl: Aw, when?
Teen boy: Probably by next September, he’ll be a corpse.
Teen girl: Wait, why?
Teen boy: He has obsessive-compulsive disorder.

–Central Park

Teen boy: Wow, look, another homeless guy! They’re all over!

–21st & Park

Two teens are watching Jeopardy! through a store glass window.

Teen boy #1: I can read lips; that guy said he liked to suck cock.
Teen boy #2: You mean, “What is, ‘I like to suck cock’?”

–14th & B

Overheard by: meghan

Suit: Can you move a little?
Teen girl: I can’t. My hair’s stuck in the door.
Suit: Oh. That’s a good reason. Okay.

–L train

A black HS girl pushes her way past a white yuppie to get off the train.

Yuppie: Whoa, slow down, Boniva!
Girl: Shut the fuck up, Opie!

–L train

Teen boy #1: Whoa, you know what I just realized? ATM is MTA backwards.
Teen boy #2: What’s MTA?

–Flushing

Girl: Oh hey, that’s my high school mascot!
Guy: What, a black woman?

–8th & Broadway

Girl #1: You can’t eat that chicken. There was a bug in it.
Girl #2: But I’m so hungry.
Girl #1: What kind of bug is it anyways?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I feel like crying.

–Waverly Diner

Black teen boy #1: What the hell is this?
Black teen boy #2: What are you, stupid? This is what they call
misinterpretive dancing.

–Union Square

HS boy #1: Okay, who’s Pavlov?
HS boy #2: I don’t know, it doesn’t ring a bell.

–N train

Overheard by: Tania D, who “almost died laughing”

Teen boy: Tweety Bird is a boy or girl?
Teen girl: It’s a boy. They got a blue Tweety too, I seen it.
Teen boy: Yeah yeah, they got a black Tweety Bird, too. I seen it before.
Teen girl: Where did you see a black Tweety? There ain’t no black Tweety, stupid.

–D train

Overheard by: christian koch