Queens

Ghetto girl #1: …so I was talkin’ to that guy and his accent was so fuckin’ hot–guys from there have accents for whatever–and I’m like, “Yo, why you got an accent? You only live like 20 miles away.” I was like, “Nigga, what the fuck is up with havin’ an accent and bein’ from Louisiana?” He then be lookin’ at me like I swallowed my own piss.
Ghetto girl #2: You so stupid. His accent be the thing that make you want him. You so stupid. Know why? I don’t think he even had an accent; you probably thought he was from Jamaica or something. Just because he black. You a bad liar too. People from Louisiana can’t have accents. That’s for people from different parts of the world, like the Canadians in Europe. Canada’s such a fuckin’ weird country, but they got hot accents. If you from Louisiana, you sound just like you do if you from New York, and if you from New Jersey. If you from Canada, you sound mad different, because it’s on the other side.
Ghetto girl #1: Well nah, I knew Canada was overseas…but they ain’t got accents. I’m tellin’ ya though, this fuckin’ Louisiana guy has a fuckin’ accent…and it’s not even as far as Canada…Louisiana is a drive away; it’s fuckin’ nuts. I just wish I could make out with him so that I could feel his fuckin’ Louisiana lips, but then I guess I be wrong, he can’t be from Louisiana. So I guess I’ma dream of kissin’ him when we be in Canada. It’s across the world and great.
Bystander guy: The sad thing about this is that you two will probably become teachers.

–Queens Plaza station

Teen boy #1: Whoa, you know what I just realized? ATM is MTA backwards.
Teen boy #2: What’s MTA?

–Flushing

Guy: Is this where I get off?
Girl #1: No, 34th Street is next stop.
Guy: I wouldn’t know these things. I’m a tourist.
Girl #2: No you’re not!
Guy: I’m a tourist…from Queens.

–R train

Overheard by: Dani_Nisa

Lesbian #1: Do you think she’s a trannie?
Lesbian #2: I don’t know. Would you still do her if she was?
Lesbian #1: She’s so hot that it wouldn’t even matter.
Lesbian #2: Then can you let me off the hook for sleeping with that
hermaphrodite?

–Long Island City

Woman: My butt is burning! This seat is so hot! I can’t believe it! Not that I think you’re interested, but I just want you to know my butt is burning.
Man: Actually, I kind of am interested.
Woman: That’s the one downside of having such nice seats: they’re in the sun all day! Seriously, my butt is on fire!

–US Open

Queens girl: So, like, CBGBs is totally famous. Everyone has played there, from Aerosmith to shit you haven’t even heard of!

–Bowery & Bleecker

Teen girl #1: He called me a female dog.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
Teen girl #1: Then I set him on fire, and he was like, “Okay.”

–Forest Hills

Beach guy: I’ve seen what happens to people that go in that water. They become mutants.
Beach girl: Our lives can only be improved by becoming mutants.

–Jacob Riis Park

Lesbian #1: Huh. There seems to be a disproportionate number of queers around here.
Lesbian #2: Darling, we’re on Christopher Street.

–Christopher Street

Boy: Mom, I want gadgets!
Mother: No, Trevor. Not those gadgets.

–Christopher Street

Thug #1: Why would I pay $170 for new Jordans, when I can pay $250 for a pair of Pradas?
Thug #2: I hear dat.
Thug #1: Plus I’m sure to get more ass in Pradas.

–JFK Airtrain

Overheard by: les koh

Latin guy: What are you staring at?
White guy: I can’t get over how beautiful the bartender is. Look at her, she looks like a movie star.
Latin guy: That’s a guy.
White guy: I know.

–The Stonewall, Christopher Street

Chick on cell: Yo, I’m going to that gay parade, those people are doin’ it. Those boys be makin’ each other cum.

–Target, Atlantic Avenue

Old lady: Your dog is beautiful!
Young lady: Than–
Old lady: It’s terrible what they do to those dogs in China. I won’t even say but it’s awful…Chinese people don’t even deserve to live.

–Sunnyside post office