Guy: Is this where I get off?
Girl #1: No, 34th Street is next stop.
Guy: I wouldn’t know these things. I’m a tourist.
Girl #2: No you’re not!
Guy: I’m a tourist…from Queens.
–R train
Overheard by: Dani_Nisa
Guy: Is this where I get off?
Girl #1: No, 34th Street is next stop.
Guy: I wouldn’t know these things. I’m a tourist.
Girl #2: No you’re not!
Guy: I’m a tourist…from Queens.
–R train
Overheard by: Dani_Nisa
Lesbian #1: Do you think she’s a trannie?
Lesbian #2: I don’t know. Would you still do her if she was?
Lesbian #1: She’s so hot that it wouldn’t even matter.
Lesbian #2: Then can you let me off the hook for sleeping with that
hermaphrodite?
–Long Island City
Woman: My butt is burning! This seat is so hot! I can’t believe it! Not that I think you’re interested, but I just want you to know my butt is burning.
Man: Actually, I kind of am interested.
Woman: That’s the one downside of having such nice seats: they’re in the sun all day! Seriously, my butt is on fire!
–US Open
Queens girl: So, like, CBGBs is totally famous. Everyone has played there, from Aerosmith to shit you haven’t even heard of!
–Bowery & Bleecker
Teen girl #1: He called me a female dog.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
Teen girl #1: Then I set him on fire, and he was like, “Okay.”
–Forest Hills
Beach guy: I’ve seen what happens to people that go in that water. They become mutants.
Beach girl: Our lives can only be improved by becoming mutants.
–Jacob Riis Park
Lesbian #1: Huh. There seems to be a disproportionate number of queers around here.
Lesbian #2: Darling, we’re on Christopher Street.
–Christopher Street
Boy: Mom, I want gadgets!
Mother: No, Trevor. Not those gadgets.
–Christopher Street
Thug #1: Why would I pay $170 for new Jordans, when I can pay $250 for a pair of Pradas?
Thug #2: I hear dat.
Thug #1: Plus I’m sure to get more ass in Pradas.
–JFK Airtrain
Overheard by: les koh
Latin guy: What are you staring at?
White guy: I can’t get over how beautiful the bartender is. Look at her, she looks like a movie star.
Latin guy: That’s a guy.
White guy: I know.
–The Stonewall, Christopher Street
Chick on cell: Yo, I’m going to that gay parade, those people are doin’ it. Those boys be makin’ each other cum.
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Old lady: Your dog is beautiful!
Young lady: Than–
Old lady: It’s terrible what they do to those dogs in China. I won’t even say but it’s awful…Chinese people don’t even deserve to live.
–Sunnyside post office
Woman: This block has the best garbage!
–2nd Avenue & 8th Street
Girl on cell: We’ve already got plans again for this weekend. I’m really excited about this guy; he’s great. He’s really driven, really ready to succeed. He’s a doctor…No, not in real life, on TV.
–57th & Lexington
Overheard by: Heather
White guy: That wasn’t the best day of my life, though. The best day was the day after my birthday when I recoverd my hard drive.
–Astoria party
Overheard by: Noah Starr
Man on cell: I like them shoes with the ruffle. The ones you wore to the Olive Garden that one time.
–Broadway & Prince
Girl: In theory…I was going to end that sentence with, “the dolphins will be OK.”
–7 train
Overheard by: Amado Angel
Lady: Well, he’s an ex-junkie, an alcoholic, mean-tempered, a practicing bisexual, and he has hepatitus C. But he’s a wonderful man and, as guys like that go, he does have great taste in jewelry.
–Midtown office
Asian chick: You know, I bet Fritos are healthy for you!
Spanish chick: How you figure?
Asian chick: Cuz in the ingredients it says it’s made of corn, soybean oil and salt, and corn is good for you.
Spanish chick: True. If you can pronounce what’s in the ingredients, then it has to be good for you.
–Flushing
