Thugs

Teen thug #1: Damn! You ever read A Streetcar Named Desire?
Teen thug #2: Yeah, Stanley Kowalski. That dumb Polack.

–Williamsburg

Puerto Rican kid #1: You shut the fuck up, motherfucker!
Puerto Rican kid #2: Come say that to my face! I’ll brush yo’ teeth with my pee pee!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Yamin Reshamwala

Homo thug #1: Why you guys keep saying “cuss”? Isn’t it “swear”?
Homo thug #2: Cuss and swear are the same thing.
Homo thug #1: …nooooooo, really?

–Biscuit, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Mr. Tips

Thug: You wanna go for margaritas?
Girl: Nah, that’s all right.
Thug: Moo goo gai pan?

–Rivington Street

Overheard by: siara waseem

Thug #1: I don’t live in the VHS era.
Thug #2: Naw, they got DVD tapes now.

–J train

Overheard by: Anna

Chick: So you think that by you comin’ at me all gangsta you gonna get my pussy?

–6 train

Overheard by: brian

A ghetto guy checks out a girl’s ass and says: Damn, yo. I had one like that back in ’88. When I was workin’ in the mailroom.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Zander

Girl: There is no sperm in the period! Jeez, you’re a moron.

–Lincoln Center

Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that's cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain't gonna beat her.

–Union Square, ASPCA Day

Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.

Thug #1: I’m so fat.
Thug #2: No G, you not fat!
Thug #1: You playin’.
Thug #2: I’ll tell you fat. When you put on sweats and they stretch out. That’s fat. Besides, you’re like what, six foot six? You can pull it off.
Thug #1: Thanks, G!

–Inwood Pathmark, 207th St

Overheard by: austin

Dude #1: Shit, man, they don't give blowjobs like that anymore.
Dude #2: Yeah, man… The lost golden age of blowjobs.
Dude #1: Dude, we should figure out a way to sell like, “classic blowjobs.” We'd make a shit-ton of money. Every dude would want one!
Dude #2: Classic blowjobs? How the fuck we gonna do that?
Dude #1: Pimp it out, man! Pimp it out! (pause) Unless that shit's patented, or some shit.

–Crowded Downtown 2 Train