Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain’t gonna be gay!
–14th St & Ave B
Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain’t gonna be gay!
–14th St & Ave B
20‐something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson’s “Rock with You” plays on the radio: Did you hear he’s sick? Apparently, he’s in the hospital. I know, it’s crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that’ll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!
–Pet Food Store
Overheard by: Nathalie
Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?
–8th & Broadway
Man, lighting cigarette: So what’d he die from? A sunburn?
–Chambers St. & West Broadway
Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.
–MacDougal & 8th St
Nine‐year‐old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.
–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown
Overheard by: Lauren T.
Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can’t be, they’re white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.
–Delancey & Essex
Four‐year‐old #1 holding out a gummy snack: Is this a Pygmy Marmoset?
Four‐year‐old #2: That’s a elephant!
Four‐year‐old #2’s mom: It’s an elephant.
Four‐year‐old #1: Ugh. I wanted a Pygmy Marmoset.
–Metro‐North to Grand Central
Ice cream truck guy to boy on scooter: How are you doing, little man?
Little boy to ice cream guy: How are you doing, faggot?
–Astoria, Queens
Teen: Oh my god! You’re sooo cool.
12‐year‐old ghetto kid, throwing snappers at him: Fuck you, cracka!
–President St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Lucian
Boy, 7: Who’s that guy again?
Mom: Which one?
Boy, 7: Subway.
Mother: Bernard Goetz.
–B48 bus
Little boy watching fireworks: Ew! You farted!
Little girl watching fireworks: No I didn’t!
Little boy watching fireworks: Then what was that sound coming from your butt?
–Hudson River Park & 24th St
Overheard by: Eric Schneider
White trash woman to angry boyfriend: Stop! I’m in my car and I love myself! I love myself! Fuck you if you don’t love yourself! Tyra says to love yourself, and I love myself!
–49th & 11th
Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine’s Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says “I love you” like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother‐in‐law’s face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan!
–Metro North Train
Sorority girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell‑o.
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G
Guy on Bluetooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you didn’t fucking say anything back. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?
–Jackson Heights
Excited black guy to friend: Damn! I think I’m in love, she’s like the whole package! She’s pretty, she’s fuckable, and she can cook!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tim
Little boy leaving the church: Bye, Jesus! I love you!
–Riverside Church
Overheard by: Stephanie
Guy: What would you do if you had plans and then your sister had a baby?
Friend: Ummm… I’d go be with my sister.
Guy: Well, I wouldn’t.
–N train
Overheard by: Katie
12‐year‐old kid: Shit, man, dem niggas isn’t shit.
Friend: Mmm‐hm.
12‐year‐old kid: Shit, man… Man, I kill bofth dem niggas!
Friend: Mmm‐hm, and I’d do it witcha.
12‐year‐old kid: Mmm‐hm.
–188th & Hoffman, Bronx
Overheard by: why do i go to school in the Bronx?
