Kids

Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.

Department Store
Davis, California

Overheard by: Arlene

Seven-year-old son: And then you two are going to go home and… (whistles)
Father: Meaning?
Seven-year-old son: Have sex.
Mother: Darren!
Five-year-old son: Don't be silly! Girls don't have sex.

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Woman: We are having more kids, dammit!

Fort Worth, Texas

Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint pedophilia. It's a Catholic church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy, stunned: What the fuck was that?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412833/nobody-was-around-this-morning-to-help-him-take-his-meds.html

Overheard by: well, that was odd

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Girl with fake sword to group of fifty kids with fake swords (prepping them before their war in the park): Today is not about living, today is about dying. You will die at least 100 times today. And you will love it!

Clark Park
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: afraid of kids

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!

Denver, Colorado

Three-year-old daughter, passing Catholic church: Dead people live there.

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Joe Oxford

Nine-year-old girl, planning game: So he’ll be the priest, and you can be the wet nurse.

Mount Vernon, New York