Child, reading: Be…kind…to…furry…
Mom: A-ni-mals.
Child: Why?
Mom: You have to be kind to all animals, so people don't think you're crazy and a psychopath.

–Q Train

Son: I thought you were looking for Danielle Steele?
Mom: I am.
Boy: But isn’t that fiction? Why are we in literature?
Mom: Fiction is literature.
Boy: Oh. I thought literature was good writing.

–Barnes & Noble, 5th Avenue

Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…

–Rockefeller Center

Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!

–14th St & 10th ave

Overheard by: adam

Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.

–L Train

Overheard by: TR

Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?

–21st St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Steve

16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!

–F Train

Overheard by: wish i was being attacked

Two-year-old in stroller: I love Barack Obama!
Exasperated mother: We know. We know you love Barack Obama.

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: Helena the Great

20-something dude: I just don’t see how I’m supposed to be upset about it.
Father: The Holocaust?!

–E 79th St

Overheard by: Helena the Great

Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m shopping with my mom, and she’s shopping for dildos!

–8th & University

Teacher: Tyler*, your mom is here.
Tyler: Yay! … Wait, which one?

–Citigroup Children’s Center, 399 Park Ave

Overheard by: sarita92282

Six-year-old girl: I just want this, I’m on a diet.
Little brother: You’re on a diet?
Six-year-old girl: Yeah, I only had fruit for lunch and dinner.
Little brother: Oh. What do you want to drink?
Six-year-old girl, grabbing bottle of Coke: This one. The good thing is it looks like a beer!

–Deli, 95th & Columbus

Overheard by: Megan W

Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain't gonna be gay!

–14th St & Ave B

20-something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson's "Rock with You" plays on the radio: Did you hear he's sick? Apparently, he's in the hospital. I know, it's crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that'll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!

–Pet Food Store

Overheard by: Nathalie

Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?

–8th & Broadway

Man, lighting cigarette: So what'd he die from? A sunburn?

–Chambers St. & West Broadway

Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.

–MacDougal & 8th St

Nine-year-old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.

–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown

Overheard by: Lauren T.

Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can't be, they're white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.

–Delancey & Essex