Fratboy #1: How are the pledges this year?
Fratboy #2: Oh man, we got two gay pledges, and they are so in love with each other.
–7 train
Overheard by: Brian
Fratboy #1: How are the pledges this year?
Fratboy #2: Oh man, we got two gay pledges, and they are so in love with each other.
–7 train
Overheard by: Brian
Fratboy #1: Oh God, did you see that? That little Asian boy just fell down and skinned his Chi-knee.
Fratboy #2: Think he was running from Godzilla?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Matt Murdock
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Girl: You want a lap dance?
Guy: Huh? Sure, where?
Girl: How about your place?…I’ll give you one for two hundred bucks.
Guy: What? Are you crazy?
Girl: Okay, 50. I’m really a nice girl…I’m just having a hard time paying my bills.
Guy: No, thanks!
Girl: Okay…What would you want for 50 bucks?
Guy: Can I fuck you in the ass?
Girl: What? You’re sick.
Guy: Go home, get some sleep…and go look for a job in the morning.
–Cassidy’s Ale House, Flushing
Overheard by: Stephan
Hobo: You should put your legs together.
Girl: What did you say to me?
Hobo: Close your legs.
Girl: I’m a big girl, they’re as closed as they’re gonna get. It’s called “fat”.
Hobo: I guess you want to air out.
Girl: I guess you want a whiff.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Djuna
Drunk fratboy: Damn, you got a sexy walk, girl!…Hey, can I buy you a drink?
Girl: No, thanks anyway.
Drunk fratboy: OK…so, uh…how about I just fuck you in the ass, then?
–Washington Square Park
Tourist fratboy #1: It said “Free Stress Test.”
Tourist fratboy #2: What’s Dianetics, anyway?
–Times Square
Overheard by: KN
Middle-aged frat boy #1: So one night, we decided to sleep at Arby's.
Middle-aged frat boy #2: So how did that work out for you?
Middle-aged frat boy #1: Not well. We had to leave. Bob could have blown like a .4, and he was the most sober of us. So he drove to this hotel, and we didn't notice until the next day that it was Punxsutawney where the groundhog is! We woke up and were like, “why are there all these beavers?”
–7 Train
Overheard by: D-Law
Fratboy: We went to that bar once cause I heard there were lots of skanks in there. But there were no skanks! It sucked.
–outside Blue & Gold, East Village
Frat boy #1: I see you wear your hat slightly up and to the right.
Frat boy #2: Yep.
Frat boy #1: But are you in the Facebook group "I Wear My Hat Slightly Up and to the Right"?
Frat boy #2: Yep.
–Silver Center, NYU
Overheard by: tj
Creepy dude, walking up to two college kids: Hey, you guys look pretty smart, can I ask you a question?
College guy: Uh, we can't um… help you.
Creepy dude: I'm not asking for money, I just have a question. So if someone like, is an accomplice in a kidnapping, are they just as liable as the person who did the actual kidnapping?
College guy: I think it depends.
Creepy dude: Great! Thanks. (creepy dude walks away)
College chick: Is this one of those, “if you see something, say something” moments? Maybe we should call a popo.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Chick: So, explain the difference to me.
Guy: ‘Cute’ is, like, the girl next door, ‘hot’ is, like, ‘I want to take her home right now!’ and ‘beautiful’ is, like, classic.
Chick: So, can a woman be all three?
Guy: In very rare situations…
–7th St, between 1st & 2nd Ave
