Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Tourist guy: …Huh. What religion are you, anyway?
Hasidic guy: Um…I’m Jewish.
Tourist guy: Oh. Do you like America?
–L train
Girl #1: How bad am I? I’m going to have sex tomorrow and then pay a shiva call.
Girl #2: Who cares? You’ve got needs.
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess you’re right.
Girl #2: Remember when you had a harem?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn’t have sex with any of them. I just fooled around with them.
–Bleecker Street Bar
Guy #1: So how was your Rosh Hashanah?
Guy #2: I got a blowjob at a movie theater. Since I was watching Flightplan does that count as mile high?
–23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: dan levin
Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Old woman: You know I love them Jews.
Guy: How do you know I’m a Jew?
Old woman: You took the seat like a Jew.
Guy: How does a Jew take a seat?
–1 train
Overheard by: Max Ravyn
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Woman: I’d like to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Cashier lady: I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re kosher.
Woman: Oh OK, then make it a sausage, egg, and cheese.
–Nathan’s, LaGuardia
A family of Hasidic Jews–mother, father, 4 children–are on the boat. A young boy turns to his father and asks: Why do they have so many kids?
Father: Well, after World War II, they had to get their numbers back up.
–Statue of Liberty Ferry
Overheard by: Lux Garner
Girl: I don’t know what it is that I love about Jewish guys, but they’re so hot. I’m totally every Jewish mother’s nightmare. I’m the ubershiksa.
–110th & Broadway
Hasid: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hipster: Excuse me, are you Muslim?
–Williamsburg
