Hasid: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hipster: Excuse me, are you Muslim?
–Williamsburg
Hasid: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Hipster: Excuse me, are you Muslim?
–Williamsburg
Pretzel guy: Where are you from?
Man: I’m from here…I’m Jewish.
Pretzel guy: All Jewish people know where pretzels are from! What country do pretzels come from?
Man: I don’t know, where do pretzels come from?
Pretzel guy: All Jewish people know where pretzels come from! I had a Canadian guy last week, I told him, “If you can tell me where pretzels come from, this one is free!” He told me, and I gave him his money back! He was Jewish. Come on, where do pretzels come from? All Jewish people know this!
Daughter: We’re not observant.
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: elise
Yuppie: If we just let them kill the Jews we wouldn’t have this problem. Then we could buy oil for $6 a barrel.
–A train
Girl on cell: Hey, that’s not fair! If you get to be Mr. Incredible, why am I Jewgirl?
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell: Does anyone in Romania have ice cream?
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Greg Ashley
Woman: Why is it every time a guy beats his dick over the phone it sounds like a helicopter taking off?
–20th & 6th
Overheard by: phyllis pisacano
Girl: what do you call this style of architecture? Ugly road-houses?
–Mott Haven
Overheard by: yev
Guy: Isn’t England a state of the US, like Colorado?
–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: dewo
Guy flipping through cell: Damn, why the fuck have I only got White people on here?
–27th & 7th pizzeria
Overheard by: dbrock
Fashion girl: How do you start a zoo? Do you buy the animals first or the place to put them?
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Overheard by: Jax
Crazy guy: Are your French Fries made with beef?
–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Marc Cassata
Guy: Is it technically depression if you’re depressed because you can’t date a Gap model?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate
Guy: Did you hear about the Hasidic Jew that fell off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium and landed on the field?
Girl: Uh, no.
Guy: Never mind. Maybe it’s just an urban legend.
–Ozone Park
Man: …and he might give us that cat he was talking about.
Wife: We are not getting a cat.
Man: But you’d love this cat! It has such a great personality!
Wife: Alan, stop the sales pitch, we’re not getting a cat, we’re not getting a dog–
Man: This cat even looks a little like you, it’s got your complexion and everything!
Wife: I thought you said it was a Jewish cat! I thought you said it was a Jewish cat!
–Port Authority
Crazy Hasid: Who are the three greatest Jewish lawyers of all time? Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Roy Cohen, Johnny Cochran, Alan Dershowitz. Who are the three greatest doctors of all time? Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Dolittle, Alan Dershowitz.
–F train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Jewess on cell: You know, I love Great Neck, but I don’t know. I have to consider it. I’m not super Jewish and he’s not super Jewish. And you know how Jews are. They can be nice to non-Jews, but they can be caustic to other Jews.
–Union Square
Lady: I just don’t get smoking, or people who smoke…smoking and bacon; I don’t get it.
–UWS elevator
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Jewish guy: You know, all the famous people are Jewish, like Einstein, and–
Black guy: Man, shut the fuck up, what the fuck is wrong with you? Ain’t you ever heard of Martin Luther King, Jr.? He ain’t Jewish; hell, that motherfucker ain’t even white. Jesus Fucking Christ!
Jewish guy: Very good! Jesus Christ!
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
Woman: What’s passover again? Isn’t that supposed to be like your version of Easter?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Aaron
Preacher: What does God think of your sex life? Are you a winner or are you a chicken dinner?
–42nd Street station
Overheard by: Brian Lang
Teen boy: I must be the Antichrist! Every time I pass by a church it blows up. It’s happened twice already!
–30th & 7th
Guy: Why? Because I’m lazy, and I’m Jewish!
–MacDougal Street
